My Bridesmaids are more distant than ever

View Quoted Comment Yes, I only participate in group texts for something being planned in a week or two. Never in long ongoing ones. The second time I get one, I tell people so by an individual reply or phone call. It is like being on a beeper for work. Every bride whom I have had dealings with ( many) who starts one, has problems with some or all people. They expect instant replies, when talking about stuff months away. Stuff you cannot answer because you don't know. And follow saying, you read it ,why didn't you answer me. Well first, in my email and text system, when I cannot or do not need to read immediately, I blip them to a saved file, which the sender sees as, Read message. No, I forwarded it to the folder of messages from group texts that I will look at when I get to it. It is like having someone stand at your shoulder poking you as you walk to the mailbox and bring in the mail, and getting upset you put it in the table. Just because things can be sent instantly, does not mean the non-business recipient needs to deal with it. And frankly, most group texts from brides are crap. Look at these 6 pictures, and tell me which of these shades of nail polish you want to wear 6 months from now. Who cares? I will decide that morning, and likely will not wear any, or just clear wax. Group texts usually are micromanaging. Generations of brides never had them, and necessary information went directly person to person. Wish they could be eliminated from social situations. Memos are a work tool. Texts and social media are unnecessary, and no one should be expected to answer, any more than they need to take unwanted phone calls, ir read junk mail. " But I'm your friend, why don't you want a group text just once a week?". If they had paid attention for the last 12 years of our friendship, they would know.😊 Asking me to be a BM 8-24 months from now does not put me on a leash you can yank on any old time, Ms. Bride. I always, always keep my obligations and promises to friends. But I hate nagging, or instant response required silliness. Your anxiety attack is not your 6 person text buddies problem. If you have a serious issue, talk to me, 1:1. Group texts = junk mail.

Group texts are fine. It is an easy way to coordinate things without having to have 4 different text strings. As long as the conversation is directed, it's really not a big deal.

I am having 3 bridesmaids and I am paying for their dresses (on sale from ASOS) and their HAMU. Everyone has to travel for it and it's the least I can do.

Part of the problem is our weddings are something we think about constantly, but other people don't - so I only ask for advice on very specific things I know we all care about (the food!) and leave all the other minutiae to myself or my family (who care about absolutely everything)