Moving wedding from September 12, 2020 to September 11, 2021, bad idea?

I don't know, it might be slightly disrespectful but it's also a weekend, most people understand that. Does it have to be that weekend? Could it be one before or after? We moved ours a whole year and a month because that it was worked.

I don’t think it’s disrespectful at all. Life doesn’t stop just because something bad happened on that date years ago. If that were the case, nearly every day would be off-limits, because if you look back in history, bad things have happened on most days. On the contrary, I think it’s healthy to focus on a beautiful event symbolizing a new beginning, and that we have persevered and prevailed despite others trying to ruin our country’s way of life. It’s one thing to show a moment of respect/rememberance on a day like this, but it’s quite another to expect people to put their lives on hold & mourn forever. Don’t feel guilty girl!

I agree with Chrysta. It was a national tragedy that I remember very clearly. However, life moves on. Peoppe have birthdays on 9/11 and people have weddings on 9/11. No one avoids the day of the Pearl Harbor attack as a potential wedding date. If you or people close to you lost someone on that day, maybe I'd talk to them about how they feel about it. Otherwise, I wouldn't really hesitate.

I think people are always looking for good memories to have on days that stand out as being anniversaries of more somber events, so I would not hesitate to have a wedding on this date unless you are aware of guests having lost a loved one during the 9/11 attacks. If you don't live near NYC or the Pentagon you are probably in the clear.

I grew up in northern New Jersey and had friends from my school lose parents in the 9/11 attacks. Even then, I think enough time has passed. I think people remember these days but don't expect to just spend the entire anniversary day in mourning for the rest of eternity, and you can host a happy event on the same day that something bad happened historically.

I'd be happy to attend.

Thank you for the clarity on this subject and honestly a wave a relief!

I would be concerned if someone you invited lost a family member that day. And even then it would only be a sensitive topic for them. I wouldn't find it disrespectful of someone to have their wedding that day.

I agree with the others, it is fine to have it on that day. Firstly, because you absolutely cannot help that a virus moved yours and a lot of weddings, and secondly,the date it is a beautiful late summer weekend, guests will surely understand! I think it is nice way to make the day a little brighter as well. If I was one of your guests I would attend with no issue.

Being in the nyc/N.J. area I personally avoided that date as most of my guests were present for 9/11 but I think as a bride you only have so many Saturdays to choose from. For me I associate that date too much with pain and trauma but you have to follow your gut and especially now with postponing weddings be more flexible unfortunately as our options can be limited

I am having to decide the same thing. My venue closed because of COVID and we need to find a new venue and the one we love only has September 11th

View Quoted Comment I ended up going with the date, these times are so uncertain and people get that if you had to move dates and your hands are tied. I have received nothing positive response so far. I think the guests appreciate that date over changing to a Friday night wedding. At least for my guests...

I'm in the exact same boat as you. We we're scheduled for 9/12 this year and are now trying to choose between 9/11 and Friday 9/17 next year. I'm glad to see you chose to go with the 11th!

Our wedding ceremony will be on 9/10/21, but our party is on 9/11/21


Back story: we were always planning on doing a 2 part wedding with a private ceremony and party the next day (even before COVID). We wanted to do Labor Day Weekend, but the restaurant’s minimum to rent the space was our max budget...I didn’t want to go too far into September, and the 11th was the next weekend.
As someone said above, there are only so many Saturdays available and unfortunately a lot of people like yourself now have to reschedule Am I a little insecure about the date? I’d be lying if I said no! But I completely agree that it’s important to celebrate life!!

We just moved ours to that date. We were supposed to get married next May, but with the uncertainty of COVID, we wanted to push it out a couple of months for the sake of our guests. I felt a little weird about the date, but we had to choose what worked best for all our vendors. Although the tragedy that happened that day will never be forgotten, I don't think celebrating love and starting a life together with someone on that day makes anyone disrespectful.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with this. If you stop life on Sept 11, what about older generations who see Dec 7 as much worse but for today's generation, it's another Tuesday? At some point you have to move past the tragedy and still acknowledge that an event happened without shutting down. So a wedding celebration on any given day is not disrespectful to events that happened years prior.

As someone who had family in Manhattan on 9/11 and remember that day as traumatic, I think there is nothing wrong with choosing it as the date for your wedding. I have a friend whose birthday is 9/11, and we celebrate it every year because birthdays are happy and good. The attack on the Twin Towers was acutely painful for individuals and the country as a whole, but we have persevered and we continue to heal. I think celebrating a wonderful thing, marriage, is an act of triumph over evil.

I'm in the same situation! We are having an outdoor/ beach wedding .....and because of covid and some medical issues are forced to change our date. Our options are extremely limited and it looks like September 11th is the only Saturday date that will work for us and the venue. I refuse to have a Friday wedding and at the same time I'm worried about what our guests will think about this. It's so extremely stressful.

I'm glad to hear you most of you are going through with your plans!! It makes me wonder if I can just set aside what other may think and just focus on what is important.

I know I'm late to the party on this one, however having recently become engaged myself I have been looking at dates. I was actually drawn to September 11, 2021 and cant imagine a different date. September is beautiful, anniversaries would have more options. However most importantly is that I am a paramedic, a small part of me died when 9/11/01 happened. I honor those that died and were affected following the 9/11 tragedy every year. This is the 20 year anniversary, the tragedy is over however it doesn't have to always be about despair. I feel that having my special day on the 20 year anniversary is actually respectful because it was chosen specifically because of my strong connection to wanting to help people and my inability to do so at that time. Going forward I will continue to think about and honor those that were affected on 9/11/01 and my wedding will never take that away.

Aside from the social optics of a wedding on 9/11/21, I focus on the threat level associated with the 20th anniversary. The point about the only date open is 9/11 should make one pause, why is that? I cannot think of a more happy gathering than a wedding nor a memory to mar if one had intentions. Yeah birthdays happen but not by choice, the 9/11 date is a bad choice.
I agree that the threat level is probably very low to an individual wedding event even with the 20th anniversary making it a tempting target for bad guys. They caught us sleeping 20 years ago and would love to do it again exactly 20 years later. It’s not hard to image that the bad guys would not use the same tactic with airplanes but change the pitch up a bit and hit an easier target such as a wedding, etc. I think this wedding date as a target would appeal to the local small town crazy as well as to larger more coordinated simultaneous attacks. I have never observed much security at any of the weddings I have attended. As a whole we are told not to bow to the threat of terrorism but to live our American lives in freedom. I agree but this also tempered with not taking avoidable individual risks. If the threat odds are 1 out of a 100 for any other date but 5 out of a 100 for the 9/11 date, I would go with the other date. So if you roll the dice go with the 9/11 date the odds are you will win but why tempt fate. I would not want to be that planner who says “never saw that coming” wish I choose a different day.

We considered moving our wedding celebration day to September 11, 2021 as well (it was the only date all our vendors had available later this summer, when we weren't sure it would be safe enough to celebrate this June). I discussed with a few friends, our families, and my husband and we all felt it was fine. I would search WW for other threads on this - they do exist. We probably would not have chosen that day to be our anniversary; we just felt it would feel weird to celebrate that day every year, but for a one time party it was okay with us.

My thoughts - people get married on days when tragic things have happened all the time. Do people avoid Pearl Harbor day? No. Will people avoid the insurrection day in the future? Probably not. Unless people in your inner circle have been immediately impacted by the events of 9/11 (lost a loved one) I don't think there is any reason to avoid that day. I also don't think the people who did lose their lives or loved ones on that day would want it to forever be blacklisted and a day where people only experience sorrow and loss; they would likely want people to experience joy and happiness and reclaim that day and make it something beautiful.

For some context, I was in high school when 9/11 happened and I grew up in the NJ suburbs just outside of NYC. I had classmates who lost parents in the Twin Towers, and there was an overlook just a few miles from our house where you could see them, then the smoke from the rubble when they fell. I don't live in the area anymore, but it hit pretty close to home and I was sure to ask our friends/family in NJ when considering the date. We all felt it was important to move forward and find joy in that date, even after a tragedy.