Mother/son Dance for a Monster-in-law

It’s your and fiancé’s wedding, not hers. It doesn’t matter if she has expectations if you both decide to not have the dance. Don’t let her bully you or him into it either. Skip the dance. I completely empathize because I know what narcissistic parents are like. It might feel like it’s easier to give in and make them happy but your happiness and peace of mind are much more important and should never sacrificed to make that happen.

FH has a similar relationship with his mom so we are not doing a mother/son dance. We knew we weren’t having one from the get go but now we’ve decided not to have any first dances for other reasons. Would she be mad and make a scene if you decided against one?

I'd do Anything for Love by Meatloaf

View Quoted Comment I think, for him, dancing a few minutes with her will make him much happier than having to deal with her making a scene on our day.

View Quoted Comment She would absolutely make a scene. I think we could skip all of them and it would be okay but my relationship with my dad is really important me; I won’t cut that out for her.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand that! If your FH is okay with that, then I get why’d you just do the dance and make her happy. Better that than drama. 😅 What about something more genetic like Somewhere Over the Rainbow or What a Wonderful World.

*generic? Lol

View Quoted Comment Right? Yes. I think we’re looking for generic. The Wizard of Oz is my favorite movie of all time, so that one’s out— but I hadn’t thought of What a Wonderful World. Let me know if you think of any more! Thanks!

View Quoted Comment Stand by Me, Landslide, Forever Young by Rod Stewart, Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Days Like This, The Heart by NEEDTOBREATHE, Time in a Bottle, Little Darlin’

Totally get just taking the path of least resistance for the good of the cause lol. How about "Happy" by Pharrell Williams, "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts, "Humble and Kind" by Tim McGraw, "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong, or "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack?

View Quoted Comment Hire security which is often required anyway. If she makes a scene, that only makes her look bad.

You're so Vain by Carly Simon

I understand this. My own mother is such a narcissist that she’s not even coming to my wedding. Her loss.
Good luck with your Monster In Law.
P.S. I love that movie.

View Quoted Comment 👍 Yes! This is appropriate.

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LOL I LOVE IT! 😂

View Quoted Comment I thought about that!
If we could do anything I’d like them to do “you don’t own me”… but he said it’s a bad idea :/

As I was reading this I started to wonder if we have the same mother in law! 😅 lol jk. But seriously…they sound the same! But I totally feel your pain with this. I don’t have a good relationship with my dad and since my FH doesn’t have a good relationship with his mom either we want to cut the mother/son & father/daughter dances out completely. We’re horrible dancers and I’m a total introvert and super shy anyways (and hate dancing), so I don’t think people will be that thrown off by us not including those dances in our reception but my FH thinks it’ll offend my dad and his mom. We still have no idea what to do, ugh!

View Quoted Comment In your situation, I would skip them.
Your FH thinks it will offend his mom and your dad but what your wants and your FH's come first when it comes to YOUR wedding. We are also skipping them even though we have a good relationship with our own parents, my dad is not walking me down the aisle either and I don't care what he and the rest of my family think since it's NOT their wedding we're not willing to do things we hate to please others, including parents. It sounds rude but it's still true.

I have a similar situation with my dad.

My fiance and I decided to only do a couple's first dance. Then I told my dad and he told his mom that we would still like to have a dance with them but just not in front of everyone (since it gets boring watching so many dances when the people can't really dance). Then we invited them to pick a song so we can cue the photographer to focus on us for pictures. Hope that helps somewhat!

View Quoted Comment Doesn’t sound rude at all! Like you told me, bride and groom need to be put first. I only wish I was as brave as you 😅 I have a fairly large family and they love to gossip so I can only imagine the things that would be said once they realize we’re skipping the dances, but on the other hand everyone knows I hate dancing so it honestly isn’t much of a surprise!