Motherless Brides

I'm sorry to hear all this. My parents didn't pass, but I will be a motherless and fatherless bride. Idk how this is going to work either. I am sure you will have some way to remember them on your day. <3

I'm sorry!

I agree with the photo on an empty chair. I haven't lost my parents, but I was extremely close to my grandmother, and this whole process has been very tough.

Just think about the fact that your mother would not want you crying while doing this wedding stuff. She would want you happy and smiling, and just because she's not there physically doesn't mean she's not there.

Yeah...I'm a motherless fatherless bride, but they're both alive, mom even lives 10 minutes away. She's just not interested in my wedding unless it's to criticize me, my choices, and tell me that it's not actually going to happen.

At least you have good memories to hold with you on your most special day.

I know exactly what you are going through. My mother passed away 3 years ago and this entire process has been very painful. My FMIL has been trying to be there for me but I think she doesn't quite know what to do or say. But it's sweet of her to try.

I went dress shopping a few times and my friends all wanted me to have the "cry when you find the one" moment but I told them it wasn't going to happen. My plan had always been to find my dress with just my mother, so not having her there was extremely difficult.

My suggestion? Try and go on like a Tuesday afternoon or so when it isn't quite so crowded. You won't forget and the pain will still be there, but it won't feel as much like it's being pushed in your face.

I'm sorry Erica I know how tough this is. I lost my mom about half way through planning and it has been really really tough. I think it is important to remember them though during your day and through the process. I wear a necklace of my mom's to every wedding planning appt so she is there with me (silly I know, but it feels like it).

I agree with MrsStrobe try dress shopping during the week there will be less stuff in your face and you can just concentrate on the pretty dresses and how you feel.

As for the wedding day I think it is important to remember your mom someway. If you can't deal with an empty chair that is fine, but think of other ways to include her memory so you feel like part of her is there. What about making sure her favorite flower is in your bouquet or wearing a piece of her jewelry as your something old? If you can include some part of her maybe it wont feel like there is such a hole. That is my hope anyway

I know how you are feeling.. my mother passed when I was 17 years old due to a a drunk driver and my Dad Died last year to a massive heart attack, It really does suck not having them here for my wedding. But Yet it is the same with my kids I often wonder what my mom would think about the mom that I am....

Same here. Lost my Mommy in 2009 and while planning has been fun, I do wonder what she'd think of some of mine and FH's choices, or even what she'd think of him. I didn't meet him until 2010. I went dress shopping once with my SIL and niece. It was cool but not the same. My shopping experience has been more "just find a damn dress".

My Daddy passed away in 2011 and he and FH did get to know each other so that's comforting. I know my Daddy liked him. But I remember when I was younger my Dad used to ask me to do him a favor and he'd dance at my wedding.

"Hand me that magazine and I'll dance at your wedding!" I'd give anything to have that be true. :-(

FH's parents have passed, and I know this is really really hard to for him. He's talked about them more in the last couple of months than he has during the course of our relationship.

Anyway we're remembering his parents with a huge bouquet on the altar - they're our only ceremony flowers.

I'm sorry ((hugs))

Monica - I'm also in the "just find a damn dress." I did choose a dress yesterday, and my sister and mom's friend don't understand why I'm not excited. I'm not completely miserable, but it's just a dress to me. It's a pretty dress - I do like it a lot and I can't wait to wear it. Sometimes I feel disconnected from the wedding - even though I'm planning it. I do find pleasure in somethings - I like the dress, I like my shoes, I'm looking forward to registering. I am excited about the makeup artist we found (I was going to do it myself but my sister bought me a session). It just sometimes feel as though I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do.

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. Today is better. I'm sure I'll cry more between now and forever. Luckily the dress is purchased, and the rest is just party planning.

I'm sorry to hear that. My mom is here, not as excited as I wish she was, but I'm hoping that she will warm up and get more excited as the day comes closer. My dad passed away when I was 16, and now that my wedding day is coming, I miss him more than ever. Not really sure who to have walk me down the isle, I have no grandpa's or uncle's in my life...and not so sure what to do about the father/daughter dance.

It's not easy, there will be hard days and there will be easy days...but we're not alone.

I'm in the same situation... My Mom passed when I was six and biological dad has never been in my life. It sucks. Dress shopping was hard, but I am doing an empty chair with her picture on it for the ceremony. I want her to be there some how. The lady who is marrying us was also her best friend up until she died, and is the closest I will ever get to having her around again. I broke down yesterday because I realized i had 49 days left and she still isn't going to be there. I can already tell I'm going to be a mess that day, but it is comforting knowing that she would have LOVED FH!

My dad just died in march and I had a hard night tonight. So I hear you it sucks so much. At least we have angels on our side.

Also I was thinking we could start an email support group for those of us who have lost parents and are planning our weddings. Just to have someone to vent to who gets it. Anyone interested?

I'm sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I also lost my mom, in 2000. I was 12 and at times it was quite difficult growing up without her. Now that I am planning my wedding I think of her often and wish she were here. It sucks. I understand how you feel about the empty chair thing, I could never do that either. I would bawl my eyes out. I am going to keep a small picture of her on my bouquet.

I didn't want to do the whole dress shopping trip drama because of the same thing, my mom passed away in 2009 and I knew not having her there would be hard. I ordered online....my friends were a little disappointed because they wanted to shop with me but I just felt that was best for me. I love the dress and I know she would have loved it also

DlovesD - I think that's a great idea. I'm game. My sister doesn't understand- my mom was alive for her wedding. All of my friends (seriously) still have their moms.

Jenn - I won't have a father-daughter dance. We'll have our first dance, and the no other special dance. I'm also having my father's best friend walk me down the aisle - he took over dad duties after mine died (he taught me how to drive, how to shoot, he's handling my mom's estate, etc).

It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in my sentiments. I'm just sorry there's so many of us.

I photographed a wedding recently where the bride was there by herself. She was escorted down the aisle by another relative and there was a special mention during the ceremony for her lost parents. It was very nice and moving.

My wife and I are in the same boat (sort of) my dad, and her mom wasn't able to attend as they had both passed away, so we asked the officiant to mention they where they in spirit.

Hope that helps.

Yeah, no one really understands unless they've gone through it

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot simply imagine the pain you are in, especially when your wedding is supposed to be time to celebrate.

There is nothing wrong with you shedding tears at your wedding. If you are unable to see their pictures at that moment. What about lighting a candle with your fiance for both your mother and father?

Also are there any important mother-like, father-like figures that could walk you down the aisle? I have seen weddings where there have been numerous special people in a brides life that as helped fill a small portion of your loss, they each took a few steps with the bride up the aisle.