motherless bride

My mom died 3 years ago. It was sad planning my wedding without her. I tried keeping her in mind when deciding things and smiled when I knew she would like something. We did a balloon release right after the ceremony in honor of her... in an attempt to send the celebration up to her. It was beautiful and memorable for everyone. Even people that never met my mom were teary-eyed. Just know that she would be so happy for you right now.

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my father 15 years ago, and this year has been the first year that I'm truly feeling his absence, as in who will do the father-daughter dance, someone to walk me down the aisle, etc. I feel your pain

I'm so sorry; I don't think there really is a way to deal with it except to embrace all the love and support coming from those closest to you. In a way, their support of you helps them with their grief and sense of absence too.

Your officiant should help you create a meaningful way to remember her at the ceremony; there are many different things we've done at ceremonies and seen at receptions. Candles, photos, maybe a piece of her jewelry on your bouquet; all can make it feel, at least a little bit, like she is walking you down the aisle, which she is in spirit.

I don't know that you ever 'get over' a loss like that, but in time, her memory will bring a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.

I'm so sorry. There is no way around it. Planning a wedding without your mom, especially if you were very close, is going to magnify your loss. Your aunt, especially, knows what you're feeling, and I'm sure she's feeling the loss as well. Allow her to be your support and your strength. If you're making decisions and you want to know what your mom would say, ask her sister. It's likely that she has an answer. Beyond that, there are many ways to honor your mother on your wedding day. There was a WW bride just last week who posted asking about which necklace to wear on her wedding day. They were all beautiful and appropriate, but she ultimately chose a necklace that belonged to her mother, who had passed. If your mother had a piece of jewelry you loved, perhaps you could wear it. We have done bouquets for brides who have lost their moms, and we've been asked to add everything from religious medals that belonged to their moms, pieces of their mother's wedding veil, a locket with a picture of their moms....just about anything. You may also want to consider having your aunt escorted down the aisle to represent the MOB. My friend did that at her wedding years ago, and it was very touching.

Just remember, your mother is with you because she is in you. She will be there for the rest of your life. You'll feel her presence on your wedding day, and it will be a positive feeling.

I know how you are feeling as well. I lost my mom 8 years ago, and my dad 4 years ago. It is pretty hard doing this without them. I'm always wondering what they would think with every decision I make. Plus knowing that if my mom was around, the wedding would have been planned within two months of the engagement, because well, that was kind of woman my mother was. My cousins on my dads side have been trying to take over the role of "surrogate parents" during this whole process. Its definitely a nice gesture, but not the same.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I haven't lost anyone close to me, but my parents' divorce put me on an emotional roller coaster ride. This video has some suggestions that really help me when I was becoming emotionally overwhelmed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDY7ztZk-8

My mom passed away 4 years ago and my dad passed away last year. I was close to both my parents but I was definitely a "Daddy's Girl". It's been harder for me planning my wedding knowing my dad isn't going to be there to walk me down the aisle or dance with me for the father/daughter dance.

I was MOH for my friend who had lost her mom when we were in jhs. I made sure I did everything I could for her and there were calls to my mom also where she could get a mom's opinion. I know she missed her mom, even after all that tone, nothing could replace her, but we all banded together to be the next best thing, friends and family who loved her and wanted to help anyway we could.

I lost my mom 7 years ago to cancer. It's been really hard for me not having her here for this time in my life. The hardest thing for me was that my mom handmade both of my sister's wedding dresses and that is something I'll never get. Some of the things I am planning to do to honor her at my wedding are: having an "In Memory" table, having everyone where a small purple ribbon (purple is the color for pancreatic cancer and it is also my wedding color, for the same reason), leaving a chair open for her in the front row, I want to somehow incorporate some of her wedding dress into mine and I am going to buy a charm for my bouquet that has a picture of her and I and another picture of her on her wedding day (you can get these charms on Etsy). I really like the idea that another bride mentioned above of releasing balloons. We always do this once a year for her and it might be nice to do it at my wedding.

It will be a hard day for all of my family. I already know I will be crying most of the day because she won't be there :-(

I am so sorry for your loss!

One of my best friends from college had her mother unexpectedly pass away 3 months before her wedding. It was unbelievably sad. She felt fortunate her mom had seen her dress, and had been part of decisions. However she opted to cancel her shower and did not want a bachelorette because it was too soon to celebrate in her mind. I wish we had pushed her on this... Cause I feel like she missed out.

At her wedding her brother walked down the aisle holding a candle and put it a table by her mom's picture in memorial. It was an emotional day. Is there something of her's you could wear on your wedding day? Or have a piece of her gown sewed into your gown or her initials? Your mom will definitely be with you through out this planning process and on your day,

Again, just so sorry for your loss!

I lost my mom 3 years ago and we were close, but even if she were still alive, I would have been making my own decisions about the wedding because she and I very different styles. I would have still taken my best friend with me to shop for my dress vs. my mom.

I'm not sad at all that my mom won't be at my wedding. I'm happy and I know she would be happy for me if she were here.

We both have lost our moms. I'm wearing a locket with their pictures in it. That way they are both with us on that day. For the planning, nothing makes it easier. It's ok to be sad and down and miss what you don't have. But just don't let it overtake the incredible joy that this time in your life should represent.

I lost my Mom at age 11, and even though it been so many (28+) years I still miss her. Adding on the my father was sick with cancer when I got engaged and the stress has caused many tears to flow. I am lucky to have family and a couple close friends and a surrogate Mom's to help me. I ended up marrying early in Dad's hospital room days before he died, dress and all. I am sure I will cry the day in March we are having (the wedding we planned). Please don't let your sorrow override the joy you should be experiencing.

I lost both my parents before my wedding. It was definitely brand new, raw grief leading up to the wedding. I cried, a lot, and often, through the planning process. I was truly worried I would be a total wreck the day of and just blubber and feel sorry for myself all day.

But I didn't. I amazed myself and kept it together (okay, I bawled my self down the aisle, but that was happy/nervous/ahhhh tears).

The one thing that really, really helped me? Being in that room full of ALL of the people who have held me up and supported me over the years since losing my parents. It was actually really humbling, for me. Nothing can ever ever take away these significant losses, and the grief ebbs and flows with life. I had a really hard time while I was pregnant, too. And I feel sad inwardly when my daughter gets excited to see her grandparents, because they'll never be mine.

Focus on all the people who are here, who love you and want to help and support you. Let yourself grieve your mothers loss all over again, but also let yourself take in and accept all of those around you who are trying their best to fill impossible shoes, so you have a great, happy, memorable day.

I was and I share (d) your feelings. My mother passed away 4 yrs ago and yes planning my wedding was difficult. Everything I did or didn't do, in the back of my mind I wondered, "what would mommy say or do". My DH lost his mother 3 yrs ago, so I had a memorial table set up for them at our wedding reception. Every day, I miss and think about my mother. Especially, when things are difficult for me. I'm almost ready to give up on Holidays, the pain hasn't left me it just became bearable.