Mother-of-the-Bride-zilla

Set some boundaries. If you and your fiance request to see/approve everything for the wedding your mom should want to respect that. If you don't say anything at all how is she supposed to know you feel this way? Is she paying for the whole thing?

Is your mother paying for it? If so, then she does have an opinion....a huge one, but I would hope your mother would also be very understanding to the type of wedding you and your FH wants. Personally I don't get why she's telling you and your FH that she and your sister will do all the planning?? Unless she's under the impression you don't want or have the time to plan?

You may have to speak up or rethink who is paying for this wedding.

However, if she isn't paying for it, while you appreciate her help (where you need it), this wedding belongs to you and your FH and the decisions should be left up to the both of you. If she is contributing some money but not all the money then there needs to be a happy medium and is up to you to still say something to her.

This happened to my best friend. Her parents paid for her wedding. Every dime. So they did all the planning. Right down to picking her wedding party and her dress! She wanted me to be her moh but her mom said no and she had her step brothers gf (who she barely knew) up with her. She was overall happy with the decor and colors her mom picked and appreciative that she missed out on all the stress of planning. BUT - now that I'm getting married, and going to bridal salons (her dress was ordered and she never got to try it on in a shop) and picking out invitations and centerpieces and decor etc she is jealous and feels she missed out on a lot. I'd talk to your mom about how your fh is feeling and explain that you WANT to plan it. If you and your fh are anything like myself and mine, we LOVE planning this wedding! We are having a great time! In her attempt to de stress your day, she may be robbing you two with out even realizing it!

Pay for your own wedding and plan it yourself.

My mom lives where our wedding will be while we live a few states away. Though we're paying for it, she has been absolutely vital in communicating with vendors, running around, and overall planning my wedding. But it is still 100% our wedding. FH and I are the only decision-makers and I made sure all of our vendors knew that.

My mom still gets a little too involved. The other day my sister told me that my mom had referred to our wedding as "my wedding." Meaning, her wedding. Sometimes she forgets.

That's great that your mom wants a hand in planning, but I 100% agree that it is important to set some boundaries.

@Amanda....that just blows my mind. I was so incredibly lucky to have a mother who just wrote out the check and told me to go plan the wedding I wanted.

I am paying for my wedding ALL myself so that's a non-issue. Also i have told her and she pulls this guilt trip on me and says - We don't have time for you to approve every single detail! The wedding is September 2016 so yes, we do have time.

I think that you need to tell her that this is YOUR wedding, and YOU want to bond with YOUR fiance by planning YOUR wedding TOGETHER. Its not her wedding, she already had hers.

Ugh. I've been married 2x. The first time was on my parent's dime and my mother insisted on weighing in on EVERYTHING. I loved my venue, and my caterer, but my dress, flowers, BM dresses, etc. I hated. I also was really disappointed that I didn't have favors, or a real professional photographer. We had a jazz band, who were ridiculously talented and ended up being fantastic, but during the planning process, it was not what I would have chosen. Fast forward to wedding #2. Our wedding and our money. I had everything I ever dreamed of and more. There are things, in retrospect, that I obsessed over because I couldn't have them the first time around, like favors and the flowers and the tablescapes. I'm not sorry. My mother made a few snide comments while I was planning, insinuating that I was not 25 and therefore didn't deserve a "real" wedding, even though I could afford it. In the end, she came as a guest, had absolutely no input whatsoever. She told me later that she had the best time, and that the wedding was perfect and "tasteful". I think she thought I was going to turn into Honey Boo Boo or something. For crying out loud...she DID raise me. Ayayaya.

ETA: Have a wedding with no regrets. If your parents are paying and want some input, that's fine, but if you don't agree, speak up and tell them that you only get one day. It's really not their party.

I think my mother worries about us doing a crappy job planning. She also worries about the stress as I have a chronic illness (fibromyalgia) and my FH is a worrier.

Deborah, she pulls the guilt trip because she knows you will fall for it every time. You are going to have to be forceful with her and your sister. If not, it is going to cause a lot of stress between you and FH and you will end up with the wedding she wants you to have. Not the wedding you want.

I have told her to back off. I do want some help, but not for her to have complete control. Already we changed our venue for her (and it made a little more sense)

How come she wants to plan it ALL if shes not paying? I can see mom and MOH planning like, shower, bachelorette..but like the wedding itself seems odd.

Changing your venue made sense because??

The new venue is closer to home and can accommodate more people. We could have done it in the place we'd picked but capacity was 125 and our guests + us was = 121.

The new venue is closer to home and can accommodate more people. We could have done it in the place we'd picked but capacity was 125 and our guests + us was = 121.

I think it's because she's worried that we don't have "good taste" which we do and that it's too much stress on the two of us.

She doesn't have time for you to approve everything? Why would she be making all the decisions in the first place? You figure out what you want and she can help you to achieve it.

You are either going to have to be strong and make your wishes known or get steam rolled.

Okay that's understandable. However, allowing her to make decisions is not wise.

My FH once us to sit down and talk to her about what we feel the process should be. We have no problem with her wanting to help. And she is using my Pinterest board as a reference point, but we would like to have a say in the details.