Mother of the Bride Not Coming to Wedding

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Be clear with your mom, you would like her there and will be marrying in the church that you decided. It is her choice to attend and she will be missed but, you will not be changing your plans to accommodate her again.

First off, I love seeing 1 star members with their avatars updated. Go you!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm a no demoninational Christian as well. It is not a cult. I don't really have any advice I just say invite her anyways. If she doesn't come, you did all you can and it's her loss.

Sending big virtual hugs to you OP.

Go with your heart and your plans. My money is on your mom being there.

We catholics, we're a guilt-tripping bunch, no?

Thats a tough spot to be in with your mom, I'm sorry! I agree that you need to be clear, calm and concise with what you've decided. Let her know she will be missed too!

My parents were in this boat. They had 2 priests. Because my grandma said if he's not married Catholic then he's not married.

I'm really sorry your going through this. You need to stick to your guns and do what is right for you and your FH. Just kill her with kindness, she will come around. This will be something she will regret , missing such a big event in your life.

I'm so so sorry that you're going through this. I know exactly how you feel. My FH and I were raised Catholic but we now have drifted from the church. My FMIL and her family have demanded that we have a Catholic church wedding in FH's hometown. FH and I didn't want to do that so we said no. We didn't feel comfortable getting married in a church. We felt like it was lying both to ourselves and to God (we're both still Christian, we're just Non Denominational). Since we announced this, the entirety of FH's family has stated that they're not coming to the wedding.

You and your FH need to do what you both feel comfortable doing. This is your wedding and your marriage and you need to keep true to yourselves. If she chooses not to come to the wedding, that's on her. She's the one choosing not to come.

We are going through a similar situation with FMIL! I'm non-denominational Christian, and FH was raised Catholic. She's threatened not to attend our wedding, but honestly, I think she's just trying to manipulate us into having our ceremony in the church. I don't know about you, but everytime I go to Catholic church service, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I wouldn't want to feel that way through my wedding ceremony. It should reflect you and FH's faith.

Kelsey is spot on, don't go the catholic route for anyone but yourselves.

She'll be there. Or she turns in her mom card. Heck, I'll come take it away from her.

Try to be level headed and calm if/when she brings it up. It may shake her to the core that her baby is grown up and making her own decisions. She'll get used to it

My mom pulled a little crapoola when I married my late husband. My response "And who told you how to have your wedding?" And it was over.

Invite her but put on your thickest skin and honestly try not to lwt it get to you. thats the only thing you can do. if she is so determined to have it be focused on HER desires then youre just going to have to stand firm in your beliefs and remember that although she is your momma, it is YOUR day and youre an independent adult who can make those decisions unapologetically. I feel she WILL come around and if not you start your marriage on the right foot for you and your husband. Its her regret to live with.

So sorry you are in this spot . This is yours and your FH wedding not hers. If you don't want it in the church then that's what YOU want. Still extend the invitation to her and see what happens. You are doing everything you can. You shouldn't have to bend with something you don't want to do. Best of luck!

I'm sorry you're going through this. We were also caught in a hard place, my future in-laws are deeply Catholic and my family is deeply Protestant - most work for a church. Ultimately, we're getting married outside my a Protestant pastor, but my brother-in-law. In my mind, it made sense for us to be married by someone close to us and we're customizing the ceremony so that the FILs are involved (his dad's doing a reading/prayer). My FMIL is really struggling with it, she can't believe that her son isn't getting married in the church. Part of it is that she doesn't understand it and isn't really sure what to expect as she lives in a very Catholic heavy country. The more we explain it, the easier it gets. Best of luck to you, I hope it turns out well!

I'm very sorry about this situation. I'm not the religious type at all so I really can't say I understand the big deal, but that's not my business.

My honest opinion: your mom is bullshitting. No mother of the bride would honestly not show up at her own daughter's wedding because of something like this. And if she really doesn't come, that says a whole lot about her and I'm sorry you have to learn that about your mom. Your wedding to your FH is about the two of you, and you will have it where and how you want. Good luck OP.

Well, sad as it sounds. Call her bluff. If she comes she comes, if not then not. I would not call off my wedding over her attending or not attending. That is just controlling and not acceptable. You raise your children to have minds of their own and if that is finding a different way to express their faith then so be it.

Personally myself, I would have already told her that the decision is made and that I hope you are there but it is your decision to make.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Sit down alone with your mom like she wants but be firm and express your beliefs. Still invite your mother but just be prepared if she doesn't show. Your wedding should be about you and you FH . Like pp stated I would call her bluff.

I was raised Catholic, I am now a Christian, and I am currently experiencing the same thing with my own mother. I know how hard it is and how much it hurts. After much prayer though, I've also realized what an important opportunity this is. The conflict has lead to us having very meaningful discussions about religion and has given me the opportunity to grow in my faith and to share the gospel with her. I'll be praying for you!

Since when is having communion a requirement for a Catholic wedding? If the priests allow it, it should've been ok for your mother.

That being said, I'm sorry she said that. Just keep planning and extend the invite.

Maybe she needs to be told "God don't care which church you go to as long as you show up!" From Steel Magnolias. I was raised Catholic and don't practice. I don' t agree with many of the teachings. I was married by a friends aunt who is a Methodist minister.

I'm so sorry about this. I was raised Catholic and now attend a non-denominational Christian church. You're not in a cult. Your mom is the one who is acting crazy. I don't really have much advice except to pray and keep the faith!

I'm so sorry for you! Make sure you two do what is right for your marriage, and do not let her pressure you into doing anything you don't want. Hopefully in the next few months she'll come to her senses and realize she'll regret missing her daughter's wedding!

Be true to yourself. I hope your mother comes around.