For the past few months I've been planning a Japanese winter themed wedding. I already have the dress, the colors, the flowers, invites, you name it. My biggest problem right now is my mother. She wants to wear a slim above the knee black dress to my wedding. I know modern day wedding planning doesn't really care if someone wears black compared to the traditional points. However, Japanese custom with marriage prohibits the parent from wearing black. It symbolizes their disapproval to the marriage and an omen that the marriage will fail. Not exactly something I need on my wedding day.
I've looked at several appropriate dresses fitting my color theme but my mother rejects them all, she won't even try the dresses on. She keeps going back to she wants to wear black and I have to keep telling her no because it's inappropriate, she needs to be culturally sensitive. She told me she could wear black and add something with sparkle or jewels to make it look like a midnight snow storm and she'd "fit" the theme. I've had to keep telling her no. It's still black. My wedding is winter themed; it's not snow storm themed. Her image of what she wants to wear is replicating a hoochie dress at a night club. My mother is over 50 years old; my wedding is not the time or place to go through her mid-life crisis.
I don't know how to handle my mother with this. She's the only family I have on my side of the family and it's coming down to do I just let her have her way even though she's dooming my marriage and proving once and for all that she doesn't respect that it's my wedding and not hers. Or do I just tell her to not come and I have no one on my family's side in attendance.
