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Just Said Yes October 2018

mother of groom- worried

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B, on December 15, 2017 at 3:05 PM

My FH's mother is extremely self-centered. We went to my FH cousin's wedding a couple weeks ago (she is the first of the grandkids/ his mom's side of the family to get married) and she was having issues with the wedding not being about her in any way because well, we were just extended family. We took one large extended family photo with the photographer and his mom was having a fit about not being able to take more.. I'm worried that when it comes to our wedding next fall the issue of it being "HER son's wedding"- the second wedding in that family, will somehow trump the traditional bride's family hype (my parents are paying for everything) and it be about her.. even more so than it being about me and FH. I've been through my siblings' wedding and I understand what photos I want and don't want to take and I think she'll want to take every kind of family photo imaginable.. How do I keep her in line.. there's no talking to this woman without her taking offense or her making it about her

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26 Comments

Master December 2016
Elizabeth · on December 17, 2017 at 6:57 PM
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"@Elizabeth, on the wedding day there is often a big difference in "hype" between the bride's family and the groom's family."

That's weird.
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Master October 2017
karen · on December 17, 2017 at 7:16 PM
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I would make certain all vendors know who is able to approve any changes.

As to people calling it weird that there might be a difference in hype between groom's and bride's family, I would note that OP says her family is paying. Now, of course, MOG should get a corsage if MOB does, and should not be seated at the rear, but MOG should not be directing vendors, and yes, OP is fine with asking how to avoid this. I agree with others, she needs to talk to FH, and together make certain that she understands that there will be a tight schedule.
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Dedicated October 2018
Arline · on December 17, 2017 at 7:20 PM
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Talk to your FH, and y'all talk to the photographer and let them, know what kind of and how many pics you want.
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Savvy October 2018
Maria · on June 23, 2018 at 2:50 AM
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I am glad I am not the only one having an issue with a FMIL ...I had to talk to my FH and have him set boundaries...I saw someone say if you don’t fix this now it’ll just get worse when you are married and it’s so true.. my wedding is in less than 4 months and she has made everything about her and if it’s not about her she sets off a bomb to get the attention and it’s been making life miserable wedding planning ... girl I feel you...setting boundaries is so so important and planting those seeds for your FH to help set them with his mom as well ... good luck!
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