Mother in Law

Our colors are burgundy, navy, and silver. Bridesmaids in burgundy, groomsmen in navy, and both my mom and MIL offered to wear silver/gray together to help solidify our colors more. I’m not sure what the tradition usually is, but I’m very close with both of them and they were the ones who offered together. I don’t care what they wear as long as it fits our venue and they are feel good/are comfortable in what they choose. I’m not sure if you should push it. I don’t think moms and MILs are usually told what to wear.

Because they're adults, they know how to dress properly, even though I think there is nothing wrong with the fact that brides and grooms suggest a color... but parents have the final say on THEIR attire .

"have chosen silver for the color I want them to wear the day of" is too much, you're literally mothering her.

As long as the color your mother in law picks doesn't clash with both brides and the other mom, and it fits the wedding's level of formality, that's fine. Them not matching or coordinating doesn't mean your photos will be less beautiful.

Not crazy at all!! Its YOUR wedding!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I get everyone has a different opinion. It’s what vision I have for our wedding. It’s just a simple color I’m asking you to wear. Trust me if I told you what else I’ve dealt with I think more people would understand but I don’t need to. I’m valid in my request and I want the day to be great and it will

Yes you can request certain colors for the MOB and MOG.
At my sons wedding both the brides mother and myself wore navy.

My mum’s jacket clashed somewhat with the bridesmaid dresses. I could not have cared any less. She looked great, felt great and was happy with how she looked and that’s what you see in the photos, not a jacket which didn’t match the wedding colours.

View Quoted Comment That’s great!


I didn’t have a bridal party and I asked my mothers and grandmothers to wear a shade of light purple. I didn’t realize this was a weddingwire forum no no until after my wedding haha. Luckily they all had fun choosing their own dress and asking me what I thought of it. I said I loved all of them but then again they were all a different shade of purple. I asked my dad and FIL and BIL to wear either navy or tan suits. I respectfully asked them not to wear black because I thought it would clash with navy. I also suggested/ asked them to wear purple ties to match their wives. They didn’t mind. Maybe it’s the way I asked everyone? I kind of said I thought it would be nice if... and they just all jumped on board?
So in short I don’t think it’s weird that you asked your moms and I’m glad she came around

I think it's completely appropriate to coordinate what the parents of both partners wear. Maybe not everyone chooses to do it, but to me it's the same thing as asking bridesmaids to wear a certain color/style of dress. I'll never understand why they make such a fuss... it's one day and it's not about them. I feel like it's such a cliché for the MIL to complain about what she's told to wear?

My mom and mother in law both asked me what I wanted them to wear and are coordinating with each other. I thought it was normal to have them match the wedding colors.

They are grown up guests and can where whatever they want. You don't get to dictate that.

Your not wrong. It’s y’all’s wedding what you say goes. Period. I’m having to learn this myself.I’m typically a push over so I’m going to really have to learn to stand my ground on things I want and I think you are allowed to stand your ground too.

No, you’re not crazy at all. I think it’s a lovely idea for the mothers to wear the same color but in a different style. If it goes with your color scheme and it fits with your vision, then go for it. If you ask them, and they are okay with it and there are no issues, then it’s a win-win. And if they find a dress in the color you like in a style that feels good on them, it seems like it would look cohesive with your color scheme and theme.


I don’t know why certain people on here are suggesting you don’t have the right to “dictate” what you want your mom/MIL to wear when it’s your wedding, it’s your day/vision coming true. Because honestly, if you gave them completely free reign over what color to wear, they might pick a color that wouldn’t look good for the time of year you’re planning on getting married, and there might be unnecessary drama started because of it.
I was trying to get my mom and mil to wear certain colors that would fit my color scheme, but my mom went behind my back and got the dress color that looked good on her without my say-so. Still don’t know what my mil is planning on doing though, and that’s making me worried since our wedding is in a couple months, and I don’t want her to get a dress at the last minute without my input (which she asked for from me).

No you are not it’s your wedding that is your day you do it how you want to mother in law had her wedding

My mom picked her own color (black) because she didn’t want to wear a neutral color 🤦🏻‍♀️ But I’m not really mad about it because our colors are gold and rust so it would look ok.. luckily my MIL agreed to picking a neutral color!

There's nothing wrong with it at all! It's so great to have the two moms wear silver. Silver for an autumn wedding is both harmonious and adds a sense of quality. This is your exclusive vision, and it's completely reasonable. Have a good talk with your mother-in-law about your ideas. She's sure to understand!