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Beginner September 2015

Mother in law wants to stay with us the night of our wedding. ...can we ask her to stay in a hotel?

Sarah, on August 6, 2015 at 1:28 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

Hey all, So my mother in law is coming a full 9 days before our wedding, and leaving the day after. I'm semi fine with her staying with is the week of the wedding, but I would like to ask her to stay in a hotel the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding. We of course would pay for it...

Hey all,

So my mother in law is coming a full 9 days before our wedding, and leaving the day after. I'm semi fine with her staying with is the week of the wedding, but I would like to ask her to stay in a hotel the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding. We of course would pay for it so there is no need to worry about the financial burden on her.

We do not want to go to a hotel because we have two dogs and we are those neurotic dog loving people who treat their dogs like human children. (Plus it would be a lot to ask her to take care of them)

FH is going to talk to her about it tomorrow and see if her feelings seem hurt...I really don't want to hurt her feelings but at the same time I want to be alone with my husband on our wedding night, in our own home not a hotel....please let me know if I am being unreasonable!

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28 Comments

  • M
    Devoted August 2015
    moo ·
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    My FH invited a couple of his friends to stay with us on our wedding night. I'm not very happy about it, but he can't uninvite them. I think you guys are very generous to pay for her to stay at a hotel.

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  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    Hahaha, my mom said she wants to be nowhere near our room on our wedding night! It's very generous for you to offer to pay for her hotel, and like other posters have said, she's crazy for even thinking she'd stay with you the night before and of your wedding.

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  • Ashley771
    Super October 2016
    Ashley771 ·
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    Not unreasonable at all on your part. She honestly may not have even put much thought into it. If FH offers her a hotel room, I'm sure she will graciously accept and probably be embarrassed that she assumed she could stay.

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  • Mrs. León
    VIP October 2015
    Mrs. León ·
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    I don't think you are being unreasonable. I'm in the same situation but we decided to be the ones to get the hotel. FIL's will be at our house until we come back from the HM.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Definitely not unreasonable!!!! NO one (especially anyone's mom) should invade on your wedding night! I think you are totally on the right track - have your FH kindly tell her that you guys are going to be spending your wedding night alone and that you can put her up in a hotel or she can babysit the furbabies while you guys go to a hotel! I think giving the option is nice Smiley smile

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  • Debra
    VIP May 2016
    Debra ·
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    My FMIL is also traveling to spend the week before the wedding with us - she will stay with us until the night before the wedding, and will then stay in the hotel for the weekend of the wedding before she returns home. We are paying for her accommodations, and everyone understood without conversation that we want to be alone for those 2 nights!

    You are NOT being unreasonable!

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  • A&L
    Master April 2017
    A&L ·
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    I would leave her in the house with the dogs and spend the night at the hotel. My home is more comfortable but I think by then, I would want peace and quiet. If I stay home, I would be doing dishes and laundry. At the hotel I can swim and watch Netflix in bed all day.

    I work from home and any excuse to get out of the house is good enough LOL

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  • Courtney CtoS
    VIP August 2016
    Courtney CtoS ·
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    I don't think it would be unreasonable at all! Have FH talk to her (delicately). I'm sure she'll understand

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