Mother in law wants to stay with us the night of our wedding. ...can we ask her to stay in a hotel?

I do not think it is unreasonable at all! i actually think she is being unreasonable by wanting to stay with you both on your wedding night.

Ooooooh....... Uh..... I'm in the same boat, but last week I found out it's more like my FILs are coming the week before the wedding and they're NOT leaving. As in... They're going to be moving in to our new home with us until they find work out here and a house of their own. I would never ask them to leave after traveling all the way out here. So they're going to stay here with our crazy fur babies and we're going to a hotel.

Your not being unreasonable at all, in fact if she gets upset...she is unreasonable..

I would think she would fully understand and even had planned on not staying with you guys on the wedding night. I don't know why her feelings would be hurt.

I think that it is totally fair to ask for her to stay in a hotel

It's kinda weird that she would even think of staying with you on your wedding night! My FMIL is coming into town 3 days before and leaving 2 days after, but since my MoH is staying at our house (from out of state) the whole time, she's already staying at a hotel.

She actually insisted on getting us a hotel room (at the reception site) for the wedding night itself, which is nice because my MoH didn't want to be in the house with us that night either.

It's totally fucked up she would even ask to stay on your wedding night. People aren't stupid. How ridiculous. Yes, It's 100% okay that you offer your home to her when she comes in early for things, but more than fair for you asking her to stay at a hotel closer to the wedding and wedding night.

Nobody should ever have to have just a wall separating them from their parents on their wedding night. For real.

Seriously? You are super generous for offering to pay for her hotel room. She needs to let you have your wedding night without intruding. My FMIL announced that she is coming to stay with us for THREE WEEKS before the wedding, and will probably stay for a while after the wedding too. Why?!!! I don't know. FH and I will definitely be getting a hotel room for our wedding night. And I'll be drinking a lot of wine to cope with the rest of the time she's with us lol.

I think that putting her up in a hotel for a night won't kill her. Or if you wanted you could have her stay and take care of the furkids and you and hubby go to a romantic hotel for the night?

I saw a thread similar to this recently and so many posters said the bride and groom should be the ones getting a hotel room, for 2 nights, even if it meant putting their pets in boarding. I thought WTF?

Not, no but HELL TO THE NO!!

I'll have10 family members staying with us thurs- tues. They're all traveling 800+ miles to be here. I would love to stay at home the night before and night of and actually be able to relax. Since there's no way that's happening, my sister (moh) and I will get a hotel for the night before and fh and I will get one the night of. But I'm going to miss my bed!

LOL. No. She is being unreasonable. She should not have asked to stay with you on your wedding night.

That is crazy and very unreasonable that she would think it's ok to stay with you the night of the wedding. My Mom is coming down early for the wedding and will be staying at our house so I planned ahead and reserved a room for me the night before the wedding and for us the night of. It so turned out that it's the same hotel all the OOT guests are staying at so my Mom decided she wants to stay there from the night before the wedding and leave directly from there to the airport. Works for me. I hope it works out with your MIL

Begin your marriage with the strength of who you are individually and as a couple. You are not being unreasonable---she is being unreasonable to even consider intruding on your wedding night and pre-night. Be kind and loving while being true to yourself. This beginning of life together as a family will serve you well if honesty is the foundation. Say what you need to say.

You are being very reasonable! We will be at a hotel with the rest of our family and friends, but I made my FH promise no after-after parties in our suite. No one is allowed in our room the entire day of the wedding except whoever is checking us in. I'm even hoping we are not in the same wing of the hotel as my family!

I think it's unreasonable for her to want to stay the night of the wedding! Also very reasonable for you to offer to pay for the hotel.

I think that most people (especially the older generations) assume that you won't be staying at your home the night before or the night of your wedding. I never even thought having a honeymoon much later was a thing. You get married, go to the hotel, and leave for your honeymoon the next morning. To call her unreasonable is pretty ridiculous.

Haha - my parents asked to be placed in the room furthest from the suite in our hotel block. It sounds like she isn't really thinking about it being the 'wedding night' and thinking more about logistics of a place to stay. I would offer her to stay at the house before offering the hotel.