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Kayla
Beginner October 2021

Mother in law marrying us

Kayla, on April 7, 2021 at 4:22 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 12
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On Easter a conversation about how literally anybody could get ordained was started, and my future mother in law made a comment about marrying us.. we were all like hey why not! In a joking way. Fiancé and I both got a text this morning from his mom saying she went online and is now ordained to officiate our wedding ceremony. And that she’s honored that we want her to do it. I was literally speechless and she caught us so off guard. Aside from the fact that she went ahead and actually did it without seriously talking to us about it, is it weird for her to do it?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on April 8, 2021 at 4:58 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think it’s weird for her to do it if it’s what you both want, but if it’s not what you want I would make sure to have that conversation sooner rather than later.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Do you and fiance want her to do this? If you want her to then it's not weird, but many don't spring that as a surprise. Also research your state laws because some states recognize online ordinations and others do not.

    • Reply
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Rockstar July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    If you don’t mind her doing it then I don’t see why not. It’s probably better than a stranger marrying you.


    My uncle (who is a pastor) will be officiating our wedding.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    No more weird than her carrying you in her body nine months, and spending the next decade and a half raising you. She has a unique position. let her.
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  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    It sounds like the fact that you were joking wasn't clear to your FMIL, and from what you describe I don't think she's overstepping, I think she was simply following through a request she thought you made. If the question is was it weird for her to get ordained without you formally proposing it to her or having a serious conversation, I think it just depends on the type of relationship you have, and in general I think requests like this are often made casually. I don't think its weird to be married by a relative at all.

    However, your parents or other close family members may feel slighted as to why you asked your FMIL and not them, so I would consider how to navigate that dynamic if you do decide to have your FMIL marry you.

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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
    • Flag
    I think it was weird of her to do that but not everyone may think the same way I do. Its one thing to lightly bring it up in conversation and it’s another to have a serious conversation and get a confirmed Yes, you will be our officiant. Im the type of person that if I was your MIL I might bring it up to hear your thoughts, but then I will ask again to talk deeper about it and get a confirmed yes or no. She jumped the gun and got ordained without fully confirming with you and thats going to make it harder to say no. Dont get me wrong of course you can still say no but she may get hurt feelings because she got ordained for nothing.
    Talk to your FH. Do you really want her to marry you? Or do you have someone else in mind? Then have a serious conversation w her.

    My BIL is ordained and he wanted to marry us, me and FH said to each other thats a hard no. Hes not that cool w his brother and I already picked a pastor who would marry us since the ceremony is in a church.
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  • Miranda
    Beginner May 2021
    Miranda Online ·
    • Flag

    I had a talk with my fiancé before we made any decisions. We are having my aunt do it as she is an ordained pastor at our church. If she wasn't ordained we would have someone else do it. I wanted to make sure though with my fiancé that it was good with him. We are trying to save a lot of money by having friends and family helping as much as possible.

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  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2021
    Katie Online ·
    • Flag
    No not at all. I know many people who had family members get certified online and married them. We are having a family friend marry us. But I do recommend making sure if you go that route that she is good with public speaking and that you guys look up all the information that goes into getting married.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Dedicated October 2021
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I think it sounds great! For one, it'll save you money. Second, it's someone who really knows you

    • Reply
  • Anastasia
    Beginner June 2021
    Anastasia ·
    • Flag


    My mother in law to be is marrying us, but she was a pastor years before we even thought of getting married. I don't see it as being weird its a blessing because she knows her son.
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    I mean was it weird that she went ahead and got ordained and assumed she 100% was going to marry you? Yeah kinda, but I don't think her doing so was overstepping or anything! It sounds like you joking didn't come across as that way to her and she jumped the gun. If you and your FH are fine with her officiating, then great, but if not, then you both need to let her know that. Other than that, it's a great thing! It's nice that she's wanting to do so, and it also saved you a lot of money.

    We're having our close friend marry us! He'll do the same thing and get ordained online!

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Devoted April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Its up to you really... i think its very sweet that she wants to do that and i know alot of people who have had family members or close friends get ordained so they could perform the wedding. As long as she is not one of those people who feel the need to make things all about them... i woudl say go from it

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