Monster Mother-of-the-Bride

Ooh heck no, I would never let my mom get away with that I would make sure that she couldn't get into the wedding and make sure your family understands that this wasn't your choice

My mother would be uninvited if she pulled that. And i would have security

I ask in all seriousness- Does your mother have mental health r substance abuse issues? No one in their right mind would pull a stunt like that. I'll pray for things to be resolved and the stress to be lifted from your shoulders. (((Hugs)))

Mama needs a serious time out. You might want to consider security if she is making threats. You should probably go ahead and anticipate the final bill as well since she isn't acting rationally. Maybe she will calm down in the days to come and come the her senses. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. We are date twins!

Did something happen to trigger your mom's actions/behavior?

I'm so sorry. That's really awful.

Who's payin'?

It's a team effort paying for it all, my parents are paying almost exactly half and the rest was from us and some help from FH's mom.

As far as a trigger, it is sad to say that I expected this, in a way. I have an estranged older brother who does not get along with her either. I've also learned that she wasn't at his wedding 20 years ago.

What is your dad doing during all of this?

Sorry, Sarah. All I can say is don't let her bring you down. Easier said than done, of course.

I think my dad is trying to ride this out, he's used to her behavior...he does have a meeting scheduled with the vendor manager sometime to cut costs or something, I'm not sure if he even has a plan, or if he's being ordered to have this mtg. Even he doesn't know what to think right now.

I dunno. I mean either someone has to do an intervention, or hire security for your wedding? I'd say uninvite her and reinvite the rest of your people, but it seems like she'd come and make a big scene. Good luck...

I just don't know where to start here. I'm just so sorry that you are having to go through this. Huge hugs. I think post wedding separating yourself from your mother is your first priority!

What is her reasoning for uninviting guests? Any idea why she snapped?

I have a lot os things running through my head right now. First thing I'd do is hire security for the wedding. Why is your dad meeting with the vendor? Isn's this YOUR wedding? I get that they are paying for some, but NOT all. You guys get say in this. Personally I'd call her and ban her from the wedding. If she goes off tell her you're hanging up now and do just that, hang up the phone. Then I'd call all the guests she uninvited and tell them she won't be there and that you and FH (insert his name here) really want them to be there. Period.

Can you just elope?

Do you have security hired for the wedding? If not, I would absolutely get on that immediately. You should be able to have whatever family that you want there.

This is all such a fiasco, we really have no say, no matter what type of solutions we present, it all just gets blown back in our face. The original agreement was for 150 guests, invites went out, and it's less than a week from our deadline and so far we're only at about 40 people attending.....she refuses to wait for the final headcount. I'm assuming that they never truly intended on paying for 150 people, so now she's panicking and cutting costs wherever she can. But she doesn't understand that we are not even anywhere near 150 to begin with. She seems to think that this was all going to be a party for my family only; she's disgusted that I'm marrying a white man, and never had any interest in celebrating the joining of TWO families. She was even offended about not getting to plan the rehearsal dinner, which is, according to tradition, organized by the MOG, am I right? She was upset that all 40 members of her family (90% being people that I would have met for the FIRST time at the wedding) were not invited to the rehearsal. I even researched how gofundme.com works bc I just don't think I can get married at that venue now. Not after all this. But that just seems like misuse of the site....I don't know....

I thinking your mom seriously needs a mental evaluation. And Your dad as well if he just lets her pull this stuff. Hire security. Talk to your vendors, see if there is a payment plan you ca work with. And cut her out of your life, until she gets some serious help. Even if isn't to a psychiatric issue, she needs to learn her actions of consequences and she will not be allowed to walk all over you.