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Lauren
Just Said Yes July 2019

Money vs gifts

Lauren, on May 2, 2019 at 10:44 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

Anyone get married right before a move? Help! My fiance and I are getting married on July 13. Our wedding is 6 days before he starts his new job ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Because of the timing all of our things will be packed and gone so the gifts we receive at the wedding will have to be mailed (or...

Anyone get married right before a move? Help!




My fiance and I are getting married on July 13. Our wedding is 6 days before he starts his new job ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Because of the timing all of our things will be packed and gone so the gifts we receive at the wedding will have to be mailed (or something?) to us by our parents.




Anyone know of a cute and polite way to notify our guests of our situation and suggest that they donate to our house fund instead?

28 Comments

  • Faith
    Dedicated August 2019
    Faith ·
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    You could ask people to wait until you settle into your new home and discover what you need before choosing a gift. Perhaps that will encourage them to give cash instead.


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  • Angela
    June 2019
    Angela ·
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    We are getting June 22nd and my fiancee and I already have lived together for over 2 years and have a 19 month old baby. We bought our house and all of the furnishings and kitchenware we already have because we've accumulated so much that we would prefer people to gift us money to put toward a honeymoon.

    The way we did it is that we registered on Zola.com and added specific categories of funds. For example, 2 wine tastings for $120/each. I'm sure you can do the same like moving funds, or kitchenware, or bath, etc. That way you can use the funds you need for the move and get any housewares you would have normally registered for.

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  • Annemarie
    Devoted October 2019
    Annemarie ·
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    I live in the midwest and there are always gifts at the wedding. Yes it's mostly cards but there are always at least a few gifts as well. I just went to a wedding a couple weeks ago where we got the couple gift cards they registered for, and also a book about marriage so it was all in a gift bag. I think it depends on the couple. Some people you know need cash, some people you know would rather have the tangible items they've asked for. Especially if a guest wasn't invited to any showers, they sometimes will bring a tangible gift since they haven't already done so.

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  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
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    I second Zola!
    Their shipping timing option is great for your situation. And there you can also register for experiences or honeymoon fund or other cash fund. So you don’t have to tell your guests anything, everything you need or wish for will be listed on your registry.
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  • Waldy
    Devoted October 2020
    Waldy ·
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    When you register for gifts, there's an option to mail it to your house. Use your new address. We're going to end up moving from our small apartment into, hopefully, a bigger apartment or rent a house two months before our wedding. But as others have said, don't register and your guests will probably bring cash. Some wedding websites let you create a house fund (The Knot for example. I'm using both WW and TK in my planning). We have one of those set up, too. You connect it with your bank account. Good luck with everything!
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  • Kristin
    Super November 2019
    Kristin ·
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    You are going to get A LOT of just don't register and people will take a hint or it's tacky to ask for cash... I personally don't see how adding a $600 robo-vacuum is any less "tacky" than asking for cash by that logic but that's just me. I also don't trust people to take a hint...call me a cynic but I could see getting alot of stuff you don't want or need that way. We have our registry on our website and included the address on our STD's and invites. We have had our house for almost 4 years and have what we need, however there are projects we would like to do that keep getting put on the back burner so cash is preferable to us. We have a small registry because some of my family is old school and likes the whole going out to shop and pick something out. Anyway, regardless of what people opinions are, this is what we have.

    The honor of your company is really the only thing we need.

    However, we understand registries are appreciated. Because we have been on our own for a few years now, we have a lot of the typical household items a newly married couple would register for. Monetary gifts are appreciated, as we have quite a few home projects we would like to tackle, but if you would prefer to help us start this next chapter in our lives together with a few upgrades, we are register at the following retailers.

    If you would like to contribute to our wedding album, please visit our photographers website:

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  • K
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Kaitlyn ·
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    That is a good recommendation. Thank you


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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    There is no cute or polite way to let others know directly. Unless they ask you, are you saving for any particular thing? However, except for envelopes of cards or money,. It is proper for all gifts to be sent, not brought to the wedding. And they can be sent before or after the wedding. When you register, you can set a delivery date ( after Oct 15). For your new address. Anything bought from your registry except shower gifts would be delivered to your new home. And you can tell people, and have your family tell them, you have a dilemma, and have requested nothing be sent to your old address. It is okay to have an enclosure with invitations, not on the invitation, that says, all of our things will be packed up and shipped to our new home after ____ date. Our new address for anything sent after the wedding is ___. What is wrong in terms of etiquette, is directing them to contribute money to your house fund, without being asked. The gift is chosen by the giver. If they want suggestions, they will check your registry, or ask you. Many will, when they see things shipping to your new address. When someone offers to give you a shower, suggest a " good things come in small packages" shower. Small items for you personally ( your trousseau) or small items for the house. When I was in the service, and in u dergrad and grad schools, these were common amongst people about to move. People generally ordered a post move delivery, and brought a picture in a card to the shower, for large items like sets of pots and pans, mixers. Or gave a gift card to a chain store with a picture of what they wanted purchased. "This $200 card is for Fieldcrest bath sheets to match your new place". People who want to choose the gift will do this, not just money or gift cards. Jewelry, and some small electronic things , plus cards and pics and small items, in one $24 box to be shipped, a very typical sum of all gifts from a shower.
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