Monetary shower? rude or not?

I am not sure what you mean but i am totally going to do a money dance is that along the same lines? because i dont think it is if they dont want to participate then they wont be forced. tell me what exactly is a monetary shower??

Like a bridal shower where you ask for money? That would be rude.

HELLA rude.

Unless someone has offered to give you a gift AND has asked you specifically what you want, then it is extremely rude for you to tell them what you would like as a gift.

The money dance is very traditional in some cultures, and no one is forced to participate, so while it may be a touch crass, it doesn't cross over into rude unless poorly handled.

My cousin's daughter did this. She and her (now) husband were planning a DW in Hawaii, with only their immediate family present. The "coin shower" was held a month before. My cousin's daughter (most of the family/guests to the shower) live in Wisconsin. My mother and I live in CA - in separate residences. We are not immediate family, so we were not to be invited to the wedding, though we did receive an invite to the reception to be held in Sept. (That invite came addressed to me and my mother - no mention of my husband, even though it was sent AFTER I was married - and it was sent to my mother's address!) One invite to the "coin shower" was sent to my mother's address, addressed to both my mother and myself.

The last time I spoke AND saw this girl was in 2002. Needless to say, I was rather put out. I never responded to the shower invite. I RSVP'd me and my mother's regrets to the reception, and I sent a card and monetary gift card (that my mother and I went in together on) cont

Idk my cousin brought it up to me and right off the back I thought it was rude. But than she was tellin me every1 does it blah blah blah. But I thought it was rude as well. Cause ime and my FH already live 2gether and have everything we need so she suggested it. But doubt I'm ganna do it.

To the happy couple.

My opinion? If it is the custom of the area, they can be fine. However, when one starts inviting people from 2,500 miles away who they haven't taken the time or energy to connect with in YEARS, it's rude, a bit much.

I am thinking that you are saying you prefer a monetary gift, but also want the shower activity. You need to be careful in general when saying you only want cash as a gift. There are a lot of people that don't like that idea, but I totally understand where you are coming from on what you need (and that is usually cash gifts for later).

Here is the problem with a shower and monetary gifts. Your friends and family are supposed to "shower" you with gifts. Not so good when all you get is a number on a check or gift card for everyone to compare. I am not saying this will happen, but the biggest part of a shower is the gift opening part.

If you really have to have a shower you should probably come up with a clever way to list what you need. Maybe you do the honey-fund and ask them to check that out? Or maybe you come up with a theme, some people will have lingerie parties instead of a shower.

Whatever you decide, don't do what you are asking. It won't go over well.

Yes it's rude and "no" it's not brilliant. It's probably one of the dumbest things someone could do/ask. Not to mention in my book, a tad embarrassing. I don't see why a monetary gift can't wait until after the wedding unless you're counting on that "monetary shower" money to pay for part of the wedding which then it becomes an even tackier thing to do. That's just MHO.

I would be a bit put-off if I was sent an invitation to give money.

If u've registered for stuff you guys need then in a way that IS monetary already, maybe just look at it that way? Money you won't have to spend on stuff you need. I know a lot of the fun at showers is to see all the gifts the bride gets. :-) Is there a reason you want just the money? If its due to being stressed financially, maybe just look at where you can cut costs at for ur wedding instead.

No way I'm not at all stressed finacially! She just suggested it out of the blue.

The whole idea of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts. Physical gifts,I mean, so the idea of a monetary shower will usually not go over well.

I had a friend do this. They owned a farm and needed more equipment, so they sent out a letter to all the people they would invite to a regular shower, stating what they were wanting to do with the money that anybody was willing to contribute to them and their new life. I am on the line of saying it is rude/not rude. I think it depends on the situations case by case....just my opinion.