My friend, who is also a bridesmaid in my wedding, has recently started planning her wedding. She isn't engaged yet, but has already started planning a beach "minimony" wedding this summer. She asked me informally, in passing, to be her maid of honor - keep in mind, she is planning to have this wedding in 3 months, my wedding is in 5.
She's added a few girls to a group chat and has sent dresses and shoes for us to go ahead and order, along with HMU artist to book with (and pay for). She also is asking for 2-3 showers and parties between now and then that I would be responsible for planning.
I've talked to my fiancé, and with everything we're planning and paying for in our own wedding, we just don't see this as doable financially and time wise. I've thought about asking to demote myself to a bridesmaid, but part of me wants to ask her if I can attend as a guests, and be a part of everything I can be for her. I think she deserves a bridal party who put her on a pedestal and celebrate her as a new bride. But with everything going on with my wedding, I don't think I can be more than a supportive friend.
What do ya'll think? Am I totally selfish? How would you go about addressing this?