moh or Bm? What if your moh is not reliable?

Of course hanging out with Leslie is awkward, you kicked her out of the role you asked her to be in and then replaced her with someone else because they did more for you. I don't see what problem there is to solve, especially since your wedding is this month.

I didn’t ask someone to be my MOH based on how much they could help with stuff so no I didn’t run into this issue. I don’t really see what you can do now to solve this. Leslie may not have gotten mad to your face but that doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt her feelings asking her to no longer be your MOH.

MOHs and BMs don't hae jobs or duties. The only thing they're supposed to do is buy the correct attire and show up at the wedding. I think Leslie is more hurt than she's appearing. Be a friend first, bride second!

I agree of course it’s gonna be a little awkward but I don’t see the problem anymore she agreed to step down and didn’t get mad.

There are so many of these posts and I still cannot for the life of me understand why one would put more emphasis on what a person can do for them than the relationship they have with them. Just sad to me. My guess is you won't be friends with Leslie much longer... I wouldn't stay friends with you after that.

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Agree 100%

I think the best thing to learn from this is to ask the woman closest to you in your life to be your MOH, not someone who is convenient because of location. I assume your relationship with Leslie will never be the same. I'm in Denver & our wedding was in Denver, my MOH lives in San Francisco. My decision on who is MOH never changed because of location.

You’re going to be one of a very small group of people that would have this problem.
The vast majority of people choose their bridesmaids solely on who they are closest too, not who could do the most work 🙄 If i was Leslie I wouldn’t be friends with you after the wedding so I have no clue how you are supposed to resolve that short of a sincere apology which I don’t think you can do cause you don’t regret your decision.

These situations sadden me. I could never imagine asking someone to step down or remove their title based on the amount of involvement someone has.. My Matron of Honor, Maid of Honor and one bridesmaid live in another state.. there were things they couldn't attend/help with due to location. Doesn't mean I kick them out. You pick your wedding party based on people near an dear to you! I mean.. my Maid of Honor is my 4 yr old niece... should I kick her out because she didn't throw me a bridal shower, come to my bachelorette party, pay for her own dress?? My what society has become in expectations..

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Yes, MrsD I agree with you! That was another reason I asked Kay to step into the MOH postion also because I really feel that she and I are much closer then Leslie and I. You are probably right. I am already regretting my mistake! But there is nothing to be done now that the wedding day is so close.

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Yes, also I did not really know alot about wedding stuff and everyone I talked to told me that you MOH needs to be someone that can help you with your every need. So at first I did not realize that doing things was not the reason you picked you MOH!

Thanks for all the comments, everyone!

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That's about how it is. She gets along well with everyone else and there is no evidence of a broken friendship or anything!

I had to step out of a Wedding that was 2 weeks before mine. The week after I did, the other 👰made the same decision.

It was just too much to be in one while planning your own.

I also had to remove a Bridesmaid and did NOT invite her to my Wedding.

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Wow! that must have been stressful!

View Quoted Comment Removing the Bridesmaid?

Not really.

I’d had quite enough of her foolishness.

You show people how you expect to be treated. Then, there are those that fail to heed the lesson. So, you must correct them.

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I agree with you!

I guess I’m not a very traditional bride so yes my MOH (and only bridesmaid) was picked because yes we are super close, but she can also help me plan the wedding. My family wants me to make my sister my MOH even though she’s not even happy I’m getting married ( Nothing personal. She just isn’t the type to be happy for anyone but herself). I am somewhat close to my sister but I don’t think it is fair to my MOH who is actually doing all of the work to help me with the wedding to have to step down just because my sister is my sister. Idk. I want the people that helped me with my wedding stand next to me and be recognized for their hard work and devotion. I’m also not super close with my fam though so I guess it’s a no brainer for me.

I think people are missing the fact that you also stated she was unreliable. I had a situation like this and it got so so bad with being ignored that i asked the person to step down from the wedding party but that we could remain friends i think i put it like “it seems like you’re at the point in your life journey where you’re having a hard time juggling these things and i don’t want to add more stress” blah blah blah. come to find out she was ignoring me because she was being two faced and agreed to go to someone’s wedding as a guest on the same date as mine AFTER she agreed to be in the wedding party and just wasn’t gonna tell me, we haven’t talked since. i didn’t expect much from my bridal party. just communication and honesty and if you can’t be reliable in those places then i’m sorry i have bigger things to deal with for my wedding 🤷🏻‍♀️. i do thing you’re verbiage may have caught people off guard and that’s why some people are being a little grumpy towards you but i get where you’re coming from!

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Elisabeth seems to think that Leslie was unreliable because she didn't drop her entire life and become a lackey. I doubt that was what she expected when she agreed to be MOH, and I don't think it's fair of OP to giver her that label.