MOH ?: is she or did she plan your bachelorette party?

Yep, the bridal party is not obligated to do anything but show up. But it leaves me wondering why she wanted to be the MOH so badly! If my sister wasn't going to have one, I might push to be one because I WANTED to do MOH stuff for her, like organizing a shower. Otherwise, what was the point of pushing for it? MOH's are usually set apart from the rest of the party for a reason...usually because they are very close and special to the bride. And the bride will treat the MOH a bit differently than the BM's, and gift her with something more special. About the only think I see here is selfish reasons. The title, the glory.

Mine is planning both my shower and my bachelorette party. She jumped right in and is taking care of everything. All I have to do is provide a guest list for both.

My sister is my MOH. She's planning my shower and bachelorette party.

My MOH is my sister (completely out of guilt from my mom) and she is basically a figment of my imagination. At first she was game and wanted to plan everything. Now, If I talk about the wedding- she rolls her eyes. She wont plan a bachelorette party for me- so it was decided I don't get one. She didn't even want to try on her dress- which is ALL being paid for by my mom (hair, makeup, nails, the works). So she doesn't have to pay for anything or do anything. I just do stuff myself and not talk to her about anything. FH always says he gets to be the MOH and the Groom cause I run every little detail (he wouldn't usually care about) by him cause I don't have a MOH that cares.

Mine is also taking care of the shower and bachelorette party. No, they're not required to do anything for you, but I have to be honest...until I came to WW, I never realized that it was so horrible to assume that your BM/MOH would do those things for you.

My sister is my moh and she didn't plan my shower or bachelorette. My fmil planned my shower, and I don't think I would have had one if she didn't plan it. One of my bridesmaids is planning my bachelorette. My sister/moh isn't even going to come because she will be out of state that weekend.

I didn't want either, but my MOH said "nonsense" and she and a couple of other ladyfriends planned & executed a lovely combo shower/bachelorette that happened last month. I've been completely blown away by the outpouring of love and support from her. I got lucky!

MrsA2B is right. You can't expect her to do anything but show up. It all depends on your friend/MOH. Mine is a rockstar and has spent more out of her own pocket on my shower and bachelorette party than I personally have on the whole wedding. Yours sounds like she just wants the title. She should know what the job entails. You can't ask her to help pay for things either- It's the same as asking for a gift, which is exactly these parties are. If she offers or the other girls talk to her that's another story.

My MOH is throwing a shower and a declined on the bachelorette, we've been together 10 years and I'm not really into that scene anymore.

To answer your question yes mine is planning both.

as an aside...I hate when people on here say “all there suppose to do is show up in the dress”…. But then ppl turn around and say “oh don’t tell adults how to dress, or what to wear, or what color, there your guest not picture props”… But if a BM/MOH just shows up… WHY IS SHE THERE? Waste money on a dress shes not going to wear and stand-up, To take pictures? If that’s the case we should all just pick the prettiest, most photogenic, skinny, looks perfect in whatever dress we pick because that’s all that matters… No NO No. Not saying you should have a list of demands, but you don’t need a wedding party if their NOT going to do anything. I pay good, hard earned money for a planner, and I don’t mind doing my own wedding stuff, but an offer doesn’t hurt. Sounds like your sister just wanted to be “right next to you” in more the pictures, getting more attention.

My MOH is doing neither. She is pregnant and out of town and is using her vacation for when she has the baby. She said she will throw a little something together when FH and I go there for Thanksgiving.

I know BM's and MOH's aren't 'obligated' to do anything besides show up, but GOOD GRIEF. I read many stories/comments on here about women totally getting the shaft and not having a shower or bach party. These are, in my opinion, traditions. Are friend obligated to give you a call on your birthday? Are you obligated to attend a funeral? Are you obligated to get your niece a Christmas present? NOPE. But you do it because it's a kind thing to do. And because you WANT to. Those might not have been the best examples, but you get what I mean.

My MOH and one other BM ( kind of a trio in hs and JH) are planning my stuff but I don't know the payment side because they don't discuss it with me

My MOH(cousin) and other bms are planning the bachelorette party and for the bridal shower- my aunt has done most of it so far(date, venue) and FMIL, my MOH and bms are helping with it too.

I was my sister's MOH. I was out of state, planned her bachelorette party and Bridal Shower and traveled to her state to do it.

In turn, same sister is my MOH and is doing the same (and more) for me with the help of my bridesmaids.

My MOH has a new baby and although she thinks she is planning the bachlorette and shower the reality is other people have taken over since she really isn't up to the task. I have a kid so I get it, and I don't hold it against her. I do wish she would just hand the ropes over though instead of pretending she is planning things when I know who really is. Point being that I am totally with @faran and in my persona circle (I think I can say that without getting attacked) you are expected to do more then show up on the day otherwise WTF is the point. You can dress up and be a guest. Anyway, that's not one that will ever end well.

Thecane428 I hope someone steps up and does some of these things. I am lucky to have one friend (M/C and husband of best man) who has been fantastic on the bachlorette side (probably cause she is also one of the few who have been married) and good family on the shower side so these things are happening.

She doesn't need to pay for anything and you shouldn't have asked her too. She didn't offer to host, your FSIL did, so your FSIL is responsible for hosting costs. Enjoy the party and let it go.

I have a Matron and Maid of Honor and they are planning both the shower and bachelorette party.

It is true that it isn't required, but I kind of get the impression that some people are just clueless and it didn't even occur to them that it is their role to plan events for the bride. In this case it sounds like your sister is all ready to participate and absolutely clueless that she was supposed to organize or pay for things. Unfortunately it isn't really your role to say anything.

I agree, Soon2BMrsB . If someone has never been a part of a bridal party before, they are probably clueless. I had no idea about anything wedding until I got engaged. Luckily, my MOH has been in 15 or so weddings so she took over and is doing a great job. Maybe she'll get a hint from one of your BM's.