Mixed wedding

I agree with Celia on all accounts!

I went to a wedding where a very white Midwesterner married a woman from Spain, and while the couple and some friends were bilingual, the majority of guests spoke only their native tongues. The couple had gotten legally married months before for legal purposes because it takes eons for paperwork to be processed, but emotionally they considered the event we attended their true wedding, as did the rest of us guests. No one cared. When you get married you get one day, and they chose this as their day. They didn't call everyone together for the paperwork signing AND their celebration. They picked one, and we were happy to celebrate their union once.

I also second the opinion of doing only the main portions (vows, etc) in both languages. People have been to enough weddings that they can figure out the rest. It was WAYYY too long to have multiple multi-page speeches that were translated word-for-word. It would have been much more powerful to simply see the bride's/groom's reaction to a quick speech in their own language and understood that it was beautiful even though not all listeners understood the words to everything.

I wouldn't worry about it too much OP... my cousin married an English man (we're from South America) and as a PP said, once the music started, i was as if we had known each other for years (we actually met him a week before the wedding, he's a great guy BTW)... just talk to your DJ and officiant, maybe they know how to handle it to make it more comfortable and help you break the ice. As for the "you're getting married before the party", my MOH already got married last February at the court house because of an issue with her son's school, so she couldn't wait until what she had prepared for September, but every guest is aware of this (and I think that's what some PP was referring to, not to lie to your guests and all), but they're having the religious ceremony on September

I'm having a "mixed wedding" I'm black and my FH is white. I know everyone will socialize and get along with each other my only concern has really been the music and dancing. We don't listen to the same type of music at all but my FH doesn't dance (he'll be dancing out first dance) so he told me have the DJ play what I think that me and the guest will like. I guess I just don't want it to look like all black people out on the floor while the majority if the white people sit and watch because he doesn't think his friends and family dance much

I would never tell someone what they are "allowed" to do. You can do whatever you want, you are an adult. But....I thought you were on a website seeking opinions on the propriety of this. From an etiquette standpoint, it is not appropriate. If it is now, I seriously would love to be updated with the source! This isn't MY personal opinion (although I agree with it), it is common knowledge. If you want to have at it, and do whatever makes you happy, go for it. With all due respect, i don't buy the "there all kinds of reason" for it argument.

My husband's family is Mexican and mostly speak Spanish. We only did an Welcome statement in Spanish (which came after the one in English) and the rest was in English. We had a mariachi and a DJ who mixed cumbia and popular American dance music. I asked my husband if he wanted to do separate invitations in Spanish and he said it wouldn't be necessary.

Kelley, she's not seeking the "propriety" of anything. She asked how to best incorporate the two families.

Also your "rules" on vow renewals are bullshit. There is no limit or anything.

Kelley, where is the source for most social etiquette? Oh, that's right, society. Look around--it seems you're the only one with this "common knowledge."

@OP--another thing I'm doing is going to have saltenas as one of our passed apps (a traditional Bolivian food). So you can incorporate things like that too. There's really so much you can do that will mix cultures and mix your families. Everyone will be so happy for you two (hopefully) and that's the important thing. Don't worry about it and enjoy!

With all due respect to you @kelley we do not know her personal situation and are in no place to judge why she is getting married next week and having a vow renewal at a later date! I've known one person who did this for insurance reasons her and her husband got married because he suddenly became ill and had no medical insurance unfortunately he did not make it to the vow renewal they were planning. So who are we to judge someone personal decision! My friend didn't make it 2 years to renew their vows in front of loved ones who says circumstances don't warrant a breach in your so called "etiquette" on a minimum amount of time before a vow renewal!

ETA: a wedding date was already set for a later date for them when the wed!

Everything Celia said is spot on!!

Kelley, where are you getting your etiquette commandments from? Because I have been in this business, in one way or another, for about 35 years, and nothing you have said on any thread can be substantiated.

Kelley, if it's common knowledge then why are you the only one who knows?

I love y'all (': thank you for the support everyone! & all the good ideas

Paola I think you've done as much as you can to promote mixing, and everyone there will have love for you and FH in common so it'll be fine!

Also: for what it's worth, my 'wedding' is also over a year after we legally got married (because of visa reasons!). Everybody knew, everybody understood, not a single person has appeared insulted, forget all that! If you have a good reason for it, people who love you don't mind