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Just Said Yes November 2018

Missing Best Friends Wedding - Advice

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Amy, on April 2, 2018 at 3:15 PM

My best friend is getting married in November and when she originally got engaged she asked me to be a bridesmaid. She booked a venue for November 16th and everything was good to go. Two months later she decides to forfeit her deposit on the original venue and move venues and the new date is November 17th. I am supposed to be going to Thailand at 6:00 PM on November 17th and it will cost $400/ticket (we have two tickets booked) to move our flight one day later. I am having a really hard time justifying paying $800 to move out flights plus all of the expenses of the wedding.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Is it rude toj just go to the rehearsal dinner (on 11/16) and spend the evening with her and then see her in the morning before I go to the airport? Should I just suck it up and pay almost $1000 to move the flights?

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Dedicated July 2018
Mandy · on April 3, 2018 at 3:16 PM
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I would say sit down with her and be honest about the whole situation. If she is your best friend she should be understanding. I wouldn’t offer any ideas - I would ask her what she thinks you should do first. She shouldn’t be the one to make up your mind, but maybe you guys can collaborate on something that will work for the two of you. Maybe that’s when she will tell you to come to the rehearsal dinner and other stuff too. Maybe she will offer to chip in.
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VIP March 2019
Porterpoppin · on April 3, 2018 at 3:30 PM
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$800 is a lot. I would talk to my bestfriend about what's going on. I feel like she would understand (at least I would if it was my best friend and I switched dates) and would probably prefer to know sooner than later
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Dedicated August 2018
K&M · on April 4, 2018 at 2:10 PM
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I would pay the extra money. It's your best friend we're talking about, I would never want to miss my best friend's wedding! But $800 can be a different amount to different people. To me that much money is replaceable but a best friend's wedding isn't.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Francine · on April 4, 2018 at 2:23 PM
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I'm sure you booked your Thailand vacation before you knew she was planning for November 16th. I would not move my flight because that is one hell of an experience that you had already planned. She might be a little upset about it at first but she cannot expect you to change something like this just because she decided her venue and date. I would politely decline.
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Super October 2018
Malei · on April 4, 2018 at 3:23 PM
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I agree with all of this. She should have known about your trip and changed the date knowing that you wouldn't be able to make it... I mean, she's not expecting you to change your flight is she?
I wouldn't change my flight and I DEFINITELY wouldn't plan on attending the rehearsal dinner. Not only will you not be a bridesmaid but you're not going to be able to attend the wedding. Rehearsal dinner is out.
And, for the record, I've attended an afternoon wedding that I was apart of while leaving internationally later on that night! My trip affected no part of my friend's wedding. It all comes down to planning how to handle both so I also don't see the problem with leaving the day after.
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