Minimum guest guarantee

How far away from the limit are you? Are there others in your life that you would like to have, but didn't invite because of family/budget? If so, and FH's family is being stubborn, start adding them.

Who knows, things may change in the next 19 months.

If his family won't come by then, invite friends.

You won't have a definite response of who will actually come until you get your RSVPs back in January of 2014. People can surprise you both ways.

I would just create your guest list of the people YOU want to invite, keep it to yourselves for now since relationships can change a lot in the time you have, and choose a venue that will accommodate that number of people. If all of these relationships are up in the air, your only other option is to wait, but if your wedding is Valentine's weekend I can see why you want to book early.

We made an "expected to attend" column on our guest list spreadsheet but it was all just speculation until we started getting RSVPs.

First off, if his family doesn't want to come and you don't have very many people on your side, you can always do an awesome destination wedding. The majority of resorts that do them don't have high minimums and you often get a free honeymoon. If you want to stay local for you and your family, then try asking those same venues about different days of the week. Having your wedding on a weekday/night, normally have different requirements than weekend weddings. You could also see if there is a local church or country club that has a small reception hall. Also, have you tried using the 'Vendors' tool on here? You just plug in a zip code and it will give you all kinds of venues in your area, then just call around until you find one that suits your needs.

My parents can't fly due to health reasons so a destination wedding is out unfortunately. We so have time and chose this weekend because presidents day is that Monday and the hall we love was able to give us an incredible deal for thay day. Our invite list is prob about 170 people basically with 70 from his side. The hall has 125 minimum and I can't assume all from my side would be a yes

Well, can you afford to pay for 125 people? If you can, and you absolutely love the venue, pay for the minimum. I don't think the hall will actually care much if there are 125 in the building, they care about paying for that many people. If you hit the number great, if not (and you're okay with spending the money), maybe you and your guests get leftovers. Or you can invite us WW at the last minute.

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See if you can negotiate upgrades in case you don't meet the minimum. A lot of venues will upgrade your food choices, decor, rentals, bar package, etc if you have fewer people. It's easier to negotiate upgrades than to lower the minimum b/c they have staff and other facility fees to pay, so they want to know they'll bring in a certain amount of revenue.

If you can afford to pay for 125 people go for it, like Reenski said.

Yes that seems to be an option, just hard for me mentally to pay for people not there. I will call the hall and see if they can do any upgrades or I will just tell him my situation...I did that with a hall we were ehh about and they lowered the minimum by 25 people