Mini Freak Out On Bridesmaid

You stand your ground; you're being very relaxed about what you're asking and a black dress is not hard! Definitely re-iterate

I would state again that it’s all black because you don’t want her to buy something non-returnable.

And for the busty part- what’s busty to you might not be to me, so that’s a hard guideline to follow.

From all these stories I've heard, it seems like sometimes it really would be easier to just pick the dress for them.

I'd just respond to her email and say you want all the dresses to be black. I'm not sure what you mean by "busty", are they really THAT revealing? Or is it just the picture of the model? Dresses fit people differently, and some cleavage is pretty common.

I would say to her thank you but please do not forget that you should be looking at black dresses only no other color. And just leave it as that, she needs to remember that this is your wedding not hers if you wanted other colors you would have told everyone that from the beginning.

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I know and I felt bad about making "not busty" a guideline and I told them that if they aren't sure about it to just send me a picture and I can say yay or nah. It is just that my Fiance is very modest. So what is busty to him is not to me. But a couple of the dresses she sent... they would be busty to anyone's standards, I mean... they were that busty.

Just email her back and say something like " oh that's really cool! but we don't need to worry about all those other colors since we're doing the all black"

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She is the type of girl to flaunt the ladies and I know how dresses would fit her, we have been friends long enough for me to know. And yea... they were THAT busty. I mean... they were going out to a bar / club type of busty. Not all, but a couple on her list.

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Yea, but then they would end up wearing a dress that is my style and not theirs. I don't want cookie cutter images of people, I want my friend / family there with me.

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Then I would specify to the girls you want them to wear sweaters or dresses with high necklines. "not too busty" isn't a good guideline because it differs for every person.

Uhhh, you need to speak up. Tell her you said black dresses. Not too busty. Some options are too busty. This is your wedding. You were quite generous by only giving them a few parameters and they should adhere to them.

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Which is why I said that they can send me a picture if they aren't sure and I am happy to help them decide. Although, it is November in the woods, so a sweater isn't a terrible idea. You can wear a V-Neck dress or even sweetheart neckline without it being too busty. My dress is sweetheart but the style only shows a little bit of cleavage. I have a wrap dress that is a low v-neck and because of the style it shows nothing off.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. If all you said was not too busty and all the dresses she’s choosing are her normal style, you’re going to have to be more specific.

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I'm not saying there aren't any dresses that aren't busty, I'm just saying this happens every time a bride leaves it so open ended or with guidelines that are vague. She may genuinely think "not too busty" means not a skin tight dress with VERY low cut v-neck and very short dress. If they send you pictures to decide, it may just be easier for you to pick a dress for them. Because letting the girls "pick their dress" but then not be happy with the dress they picked can be confusing and more complicated than just picking a dress for them to buy.

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I get it but I don't want them to wear my style, I want them to wear something that is more their style. I want them to be themselves. And I understand that for a couple of them this means a little more busty. But my other girl who is MUCH more busty than her had no issue sending me a picture and asking my advice before making her decision. I am not sure what is so hard about that. And if several of the dresses she has on her list are not busty AT ALL, then I am clearly not making it too difficult. It was literally just a couple. Also, they all know my Fiance so they know how modest he is. So it isn't confusing. I was very clear in my communication to them.

I am not a fan of confrontation so I'd say something like 'thanks those are all great options and glad they come in all black! Are you looking for other events too for other colors?'

The busty part I agree with PP I'd give them a little more direction only because I am bustier and can turn non-busty dresses busty (I am a little self conscious and have gotten excellent with a safety pin haha!! So she could be planning that too)

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I just replied to her and said something along those lines on the black dress. I am also not great with the confrontation. Everyone has given great feedback on that.
Regarding the busty part, I totally get it. My Fiance's sister is very big in the chest and I know how hard it is for her to wear any top without it looking to revealing. I give no pass to this bridesmaid though because she isn't THAT big in the chest, she just tends to wear clothes that are more revealing. So if my Fiance's Sister can send me a picture of her dress to make sure that her brother would be okay with it, then this Bridesmaid can. I wore a dang malibu blue dress to her wedding. She can cover the ladies for one evening. LOL

Be gentle but firm. Honestly people can be so annoying when u give them too much freedom. I tried to be lax and fair but also gave firm directions and some of my bridal party still created drama over minor things. It’s always comes down to people craving or demanding attention...

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Ugh... I know. What is so frustrating is because she is such a good long time friend but for that exact reason I was concerned about having her be a bridesmaid. like I want her as a bridesmaid so much but I have had fear of the attention thing since the beginning. lol

My question is why are you making your bridesmaids dress for your fiancé?
You keep saying that “he’s” modest and that “he” needs to be okay with it.