Military Bride, future vow renewal advice

Tons of people do that. People have vow renewals even earlier than that if they didn't have a traditional wedding. Six months is still enough time to plan something (albeit probably on the smaller side). Him entering the military shouldn't preclude you guys having a real wedding if that's what you want. I'm assuming there are other barriers?

My sister got married almost 10 years ago and her husband was just going into basic training. They had 8 weeks to plan their wedding and they had it all. It was very nice. I also had a friend who's husband was stationed over seas and they were going to plan a bug wedding for when he got back and at the last minute they decided to elope instead and are very happy.

That said, if the only reason you aren't able to have more of a wedding type thing is because of the time frame, believe me, it can be done. Lol

If you are just choosing to not have "it all" because that is your preference or there are other reasons, then that is what you should do, regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. It is your day and you should do whatever you need or want.

View Quoted Comment Yes, financially. Trying to save our money for upcoming moves and me still being in college myself.

Our entire engagement was 6 months and 1 day - we had a moderately sized, mostly traditional wedding. There was nothing we wanted that weren't able to plan and take care of. If there are other reasons you can't have a full-out wedding, then definitely go ahead and have a vow renewal in a few years, but you can plan a wedding in 6 months, with few issues - just have to be organized.

Listen! If you are just getting married really fast before he goes to Army- That is perfectly fine. I have even seen it to where people get married, because they wanna be married already and then in a couple years have a huge wedding party. I see nothing wrong with that. However, do not feel like its not a wedding. A wedding only has to consist of 3 people Bride, Groom, and person who will marry you guys. It will be a wedding because you two will be there and it will be a beautiful moment. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment

That makes more sense. Definitely have a vow renewal when you can afford it - if you still want one. You may discover that whatever you're able to plan now is plenty to make you happy in future.

What about the best of both worlds? Are you able to buy a beautiful maxi dress, have your parents/families witness the wedding at the courthouse or whereever, then all go out to dinner together and have a small cake and have a family member take pictures?

You can always go ahead and throw a huge party vow renewal in x amount of years when things are more settled and you have more time and money to plan but for now there are plenty of inexpensive ways to still make your actual wedding day feel super special.

You can probably get a nice dress and a photographer in six months, have a little BBQ and have family only. One of my friends did it, it was cute.
That being said there's no reason to get crap about planning a nice vow renewal. Many people have courthouse weddings for any reason and have a luxury vow renewal later.

Welcome to the WeddingWire community, Jessica!

Congratulations on your engagement!

Many couples have a small intimate wedding or courthouse wedding, and then down the road have a vow renewal and wedding reception they always wanted. There is nothing wrong with this, I’m sorry you’ve had some backlash from people around you.

A wedding is unique to each couple, just because you won’t have a photographer, party, cake, dress, etc, doesn't mean it won’t be, or has to be, a less special day for you both!

FutureMrsKC and a few other posters had great advice. If you and your FS could gather a small budget, you could have an intimate party with your closest family and/or friends. Would this make you feel better with your decision?

I have friends who just REALLY felt like they needed to be married so they got secretly married last summer. And continued to plan their wedding for sept 2019. They finally told people about last october that they were married already. No one really cares that they're already married. Now they are having a baby due in august and still going forward with the wedding in Sept. You could get married now for the sake of being married and have a wedding whenever you want. People are going to have opinions on literally everything you do so I wouldn't take it to heart too much. I'd also say, do you really think those negative people are going to NOT show up when you invite them to your wedding/vow renewal...? Because I'm pretty sure they will be there whether they think its dumb or not.

My husband and I got married a week before he deployed and had been dating for 5 years at that point. We had been talking about getting engaged for the longest time. Then he found out he was getting deployed and planned a surprise wedding! It was amazing. It was at Turner falls out here in OK. It was very intimate! He had both of our parents there and our siblings to witness the wedding. That was almost two years ago, now we are FINALLY planning a "formal wedding" so all of both of our huge families can be there.

Also, while he was deployed I was getting ideas for wedding inspo, and made a Pintrest page he could contribute to when he had some down time. It was nice for us to be able to get excited over something while he was away IGNORE the backlash, so many people are so judgmental at the end of the day do what makes you guys happy. Best of luck on your journey!