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Just Said Yes June 2019

mil wants to join honeymoon

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Heather, on April 3, 2019 at 4:42 PM

Okay guys. I’ve about had it with my FMIL. My fiancé & I are getting married in 2 months. By that time I will be 6 months pregnant. I already don’t get along with her due to her controlling behaviors, constantly guilting me and my FH and she’s all around toxic. My FH let her know our wedding date last week and she was pissed we were getting married before the baby is due. A little backstory; we got engaged on Christmas Eve, did the thing, got pregnant and found out 3 weeks later. We already planned on getting married, but decided it was best to be married before the baby so we could have a honeymoon and only focus on our child once they arrive. I thought it was kind of ridiculous she was mad, considering it’s really none of her place to decide when we get married. Anyway, as the convo was starting to end, she asked my FH what we planned on doing for the honeymoon. He mentioned we’re looking to go to Florida and enjoy a week or so alone in the sun. She brought up how her birthday is June 18th, and that she was wanting to do a birthday bash this year and go on a vacation for her birthday. She asked to COMBINE our honeymoon and her birthday! I almost started laughing because I thought she was joking, but realized she was serious! She started mentioning all these places she wanted to go and how it would be nice for her and her husband to have some vacation time alone because they didn’t get to when they got married because they had my FH little sister. Uhhh.... too bad!!! Anyway, my FH ended the call after telling her he would think on it. He immediately told me that was absolutely not happening. They aren’t really close as it is, but I am shocked! What can my FH say to her? We need to tell her no and set boundaries. I just can’t believe she suggested having us take care of their young daughter, on OUR honeymoon!!

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71 Comments

Just Said Yes September 2019
Marissa · on April 27, 2019 at 4:57 PM
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I’d straight up tell her to F off. It’s your honeymoon you need to relax with your new husband and enjoy each other’s company.
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Expert June 2019
Grace · on April 27, 2019 at 5:04 PM
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I literally laughed out loud when I read the title of this post. I can’t believe she would suggest that! I would book the honeymoon and not tell them any of the details even after you give her a firm no. Then there’s no way they can tag along
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Master June 2017
Mrs. Coakley · on April 27, 2019 at 5:14 PM
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"mom, we will not be doing that." and stop telling her details of your wedding and honeymoon.
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Super October 2020
Renee · on April 28, 2019 at 1:42 AM
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Omg good luck with that. You'll definitely want to set boundaries with her and explain that you don't think it's appropriate. As someone who's had some bad experiences with ex in laws, I recommend not telling her where you're going or even what day/time you'll be leaving. Florida is a big state. Although from the sounds of it, it wouldn't surprise me if you would come back on here and tell us about running into her on your honeymoon. Just...good luck with her
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Dedicated July 2019
Cieloregina · on April 28, 2019 at 5:05 AM
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Wow!!!!!!!!yeah.......NO! She definitely needs boundaries......your FH needs to firmly but directly tell her no, and that even asking that is so inappropriate.
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Super September 2019
Denise · on April 28, 2019 at 6:31 PM
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I totally feel you! My family wanted to combine the honeymoon and the family vacation. I threw a royal fit. I feel the pain. Keep your head up. If it was me I would shut it down immediately if possible!
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Dedicated June 2019
Summer · on April 29, 2019 at 12:37 AM
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Wow! I would definitely practice saying no with your husband. It may be helpful to mention that while you appreciate that she wants to share in the celebration with you, you both were hoping for a little couple time before the baby comes and your world becomes all about them. You can pass it off as being that as opposed to not wanting her around. Good luck and please keep us posted on how it goes!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on April 29, 2019 at 12:59 AM
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What. The. H*ll? Uh, I don’t think so! It’ll be like ripping off a Band-Aid but your FH needs to set that boundary ASAP.
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Expert June 2020
Pattie · on April 29, 2019 at 1:00 AM
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Sounds like a lot of drama and overstepping if boundaries. At this point I’d avoid Florida and go somewhere else so you won’t run into her by chance. Keep it a surprise. What a nightmare.
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Super January 2020
Cassie · on April 29, 2019 at 10:25 AM
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Why would she even think this is ok? A honeymoon is for the bride and groom only. I would make it very clear to her that even if she planned a trip at the same time to the same place that you wouldn't be spending time with her, its all about the two of you.
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VIP April 2019
Nikita · on April 29, 2019 at 10:41 AM
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.. I can't believe it wasn't a hard no immediately. But yeah, a boundary really needs to be set ASAP. Even saying, "That sounds like fun at any other time - just not our honeymoon."
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