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Just Said Yes December 2024

mil wanted to be too involved acting like i am her daughter

Brittany, on January 22, 2024 at 8:55 AM Posted in Planning 0 2

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Hi does anyone have a similar experience with with MIL being over bearing / sharing too much opinion / wanting to be too involved? My mom wants to be the only one to go wedding dress shopping and got mad when my MIL basically invited herself to come. Shes always been this way and my fiancé and I have been dating for 14 years now.

My mom is also saying she wants her corsage to be different in colors or flowers to be “better” than my MIL. I just agree to make everyone happy but it’s driving me nuts trying to please everyone. I’m also stressed I’m not sure how to say no to my MIL not coming dress shopping. She keeps asking when I’m going bc she wants to come. Of course I want to make my mom happy as well. I’m the only girl / daughter in both families.

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Latest activity by Hannah, on January 22, 2024 at 12:44 PM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on January 22, 2024 at 12:25 PM
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Reading your post, it's clear to me what your mom wants, and it's clear what your future MIL wants, but I'm not sure what your opinions are. What do YOU envision for dress shopping? Did you want it to be just you and your mom? Did you want to also include close friends and/or your future MIL? If you wanted it to be just you and your mom, you could tell your MIL that you really appreciate her interest in coming wedding dress shopping with you, though you are wanting to keep it just you and your mom. If you want your MIL to join you for dress shopping, you could tell your mom that you would like to include your MIL as well, and that she'll be joining for dress shopping.

As far as the corsages go, choose the colors that you and your fiance like best for those. One shouldn't be "better" than the other (but you could totally do different colors if you'd like!). Weddings have a funny way of bringing out strong opinions from everyone. For any planning decisions that you make, be sure that you put you and your fiance's opinions above anyone else's - it is your wedding, and you shouldn't base your choices off of what everyone else wants you to do.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on January 22, 2024 at 12:44 PM
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I agree with everything Lisa said. The most important thing is to think about what YOU want. It sounds like both your mom and MIL want to have that mother/daughter wedding bonding experience with you, which is sweet.

One thing that I did for dress shopping was have two days. I wanted that instigate just mother/daughter moment, so my mom and I went to one shopping trip for me to just try on various styles and silhouettes and get an idea of what I liked and what looked good. Then, I went a second time with my mom, MIL, and MOH/local bridesmaid.
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