Memorial table..turned into an argument

I have had to explain to people that my grandmother was not the person she was 20 years ago, and she is not as competent, and try to remember the better days. I don't know if this is the case with your grandma, but some people do lose their filters.

I think you need to base your decision on what kind of relationship that YOU had with your great grandmother. If she just passed, your Uncle is probably going off emotions. It looks like you're a 2020 bride so maybe by the time the wedding will come around, tempers will have been put to rest a bit. From an outside perspective, the way your Uncle reacted says a lot about him...

If she was important to you, you should include her picture.

Calmly say, "I know there was some tensions in the past, but she meant something to me. I would like to honor her and would like to you there to enjoy the evening with us." Let him decide what he wants to do.

My mom and late grandma (her mom) were virtually estranged throughout my mom's adult years, but she was still my grandmother. If she were still here I would invite her and my mom would've put her feelings aside for one night for me.

I would tell him not to come. Made it really easy. That is way too petty in my book. She's passed away for goodness sake. Would he not have come if she was invited? YIKES! Sorry my dear

View Quoted Comment He has stated if my grandmas step sister was invited he will not attend. But the problem with that one is I work at a law firm and my aunts husband is an attorney. So they would find out. So no clue what I am going to do on that either lol.

View Quoted Comment I just don't do ultimatums..I always opt for the "or else" option and I have yet to regret it. I hope you make the best decision for you.

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It sounds to me like you have your answer. You're uncle has a history of being nasty to you and now he is expecting you to do what he wants. So no, it's between you and your fiance if you want to honor everyone on the memorial table or no one at all. It would be weird if you specifically left out your great grandma, especially since she passed on right before your wedding day. If your uncle decides to follow through on his ultimatum, then he will look like a fool for it. That's his problem, not yours.

Emotions run high when people pass away. I would honestly ignore him and let him make the decision on his own. If he's that bothered by a picture, he can stay at home.