Meeting with the priest

We had a pastor but he just asked how long we have been dating, how we met ect. Ours was really low key.

Any more insight anyone?

It depends on the priest. Some priests might refuse to marry you or they might ask that you live separately until the wedding or, if you can't live separately, suggest that you abstain from sex.

I wouldn't tell him anything unless he asks specifically. But you can definitely find priests who will marry you anyway because they care more about you making your marriage valid in the Church. If he asks, just be honest.

I'd just be honest. Priests don't live under a rock, and I think most will be happy that you're making it legal :-)

I'm divorced and my first marriage was annulled, and so I gave him the letter from the diocese and that was that. No judgement, no questions.

Our first meeting lasted about 30 minutes, maybe. He wanted our full names, contact information. He talked to us about our options - no dropping petals on the floor, unity candle is fine, etc.

He wanted to make sure we signed up for pre-marriage counseling.

We're 35 and 42 so he isn't going to put us through some of the worksheets etc that younger couples get.

We meet with him again in June/July ish and then not again until the rehearsal.

Our priest didn't bat an eye when FH accidentally mentioned that we lived together. I wouldn't recommend lying. We had to fill out our address though so I'm sure if you have the same address they will figure it out. He asked us all kinds of questions and then separated us and had private discussions with each of us. Nothing too uncomfortable as I recall.

Wow I'm impressed our 1st meeting/interview meeting (to see if we are a good fit for each other) isn't til June then we have to go back another 3 times after that. And I'm not even meeting with the priest marrying us just our deacon.

Anyways I think it depends on how liberal the church and your priest is. FH and I live together but I have been told that I should tell a fib and put down a relative's address as mine because in his church run by the same diocese they have and will turn down couple from getting married in the church because it's a sin.

I should note that I don't like telling a fib but he is a Eucharist minster and he has seen it all the time and I don't think it's fair that I could be denied living with someone as a choice.

When we did pre-cana all that was asked was my address. And nothing was brought up about living together. But I also made sure we did ours in a large group.

Good luck! tonight

The first meeting is mainly about gathering information. You should be fine! Our priest asked us if we were "in love," because marriage is a very strong commitment. After we answered yes, he had us fill out a little paperwork. Then he gave us a paper to have whoever is allowing you to get married fill out. And had us sign up for engaged encounter. No judgement. No personal questions. Mainly just setting your date in the church and beginning the process.

So if i need to fill info out do i put where i currently live? seems like a silly question but i still have everything under my parent's address which is in the church district. where i currently live is not near the church and i dont think it matter anyway. i plan on being honest, he already asked me over the phone if either of us were married of which FH was but not in the church so he said we will discuss that at the meeting.

Our first meeting was pretty quick too...similar to Paris' experience. When we gave our address the priest (who is a bit younger) said we should abstain but that was the only comment...no judgement. We then did our engaged couples retreat and will go back for the rest of our pre-marriage counseling soon.

Also, we're going through this at the cathedral in Nashville, getting married in Oregon, with a priest from California.

I don't know if it matters on what address you give. We both just used our legal mailing address (even though at the time it wasn't where FH was actually living, which was with me and his legal address was his parents' house). But that could be one way to avoid the "living together" conversation, lol. We bought a house in the mean time so I just called up the church office and gave them the change of address.

Is this pre-marital counseling or just a meeting?

from my experience with the counseling they get all in your business. ask if you're having sex. ask if you live together. want to to know how you feel about this that and the other. for me it was/is uncomfortable to share so much with a stranger. oh and then he said if God told him not to marry us then he wasn't. I told him I hope God decides to tell us first and as well..

Thats just strange lol...this is just a meeting first so we will see

You'll be fine the 1st meeting is to gather information and learn a little about the couple. FH &I are getting married in a church we live together and have a 6yr old daughter and he's Baptist. My priest had no problem agreeing to marry us because he's been baptized properly and we did do the civil marriage. So you'll be alright.

I mean, if a priest is doing the sacrament of marriage with you in his house of worship, I'd say it's pretty appropriate for him to get all up in your business. But the extent of that and the vibe of the convo will probably just depend on the personality/politics of the priest, and the general vibe of his parish. Some are more liberal/conservative than others.

We were married in a church by a pastor. Sex was covered in the online questionnaire we took, but other than comparing our scores to know we were compatible in that area, he didn't really ask us anything specific in that area. ETA and he knew we lived together, but never really got into it.

I would just see what he asks you, let him take the lead and just go with it. I was nervous to meet with our pastor too, but honestly he turned out to be wonderful and time with him was one of the best parts of our wedding!!!