Maybe Controversial: Bachelor/Bachelorette Shannanigans

FH will be having a bachelor party with strippers. If I have a bachelorette party (I'm not sure I really want one), then there will be no strippers at mine. I just think strippers are funny, and I would laugh at them the whole time.

I say if you trust each other then have your parties.. FH and I trust each other to the moon and back and he doesn't have a problem with me having my party and I don't have a problem with him having his..

I'm not sure what my last night as a single lady holds for me but as for FH he has already said that he and the guys are gonna gather here at the house maybe cook out on the grill, listen to some music, and have some drinks.. Good Luck

P.s. Your wedding date is a day before my birthday.. That's cool

I'm open to anything, we are not the jealous types at all - I wouldn't even be mad if something happened that he didn't wannt tell me, its his last night single

My sister also ended up having a joint one because they are both jealousy people

We're both having our own- not sure if there will be strippers involved or not but I don't think either of us would care if there were.

Actually FH finds strippers kind of gross so I'd probably laugh really hard at the thought of them going anywhere near him. If his friends think it will be funny/fun then I'm sure they'll all have a great time.

I'm gonna put this out there, and I'll probably get flamed for it: I will never understand why it's the apparent social norm to celebrate an imminent marriage by hiring strippers (or worse) for a bachelor party. It has absolutely nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity for me - it's about having respect for the relationship and for each other. Period.

But luckily for me, I'm marrying someone who feels the same way.

ETA: I don't really care what other couples do, as long as they're on the same page with each other. If that's what you want to do, have at it! It just wouldn't happen in my and FH's relationship.

We trust each other. I see no problem with strippers in general as long as (and I trust him on this) certain parts of him don't touch certain parts of her. His BM said they'll have them, I don't care.

As for me, I think naked men look funny so I've told my MOH no naked men or nearly naked or anything resembling a part of a naked man, LOL. But if I enjoyed looking at random naked men, I'd totally be for it. I just want to have a night out at the casino boat on the river.

I agree, it's about what you & your FH want. It's personal preference; whatever makes you both happy.

I agree with Amanda G. I don't care what other people do, but I'm uncomfortable with strippers. There is nothing sexy to me about watching a guy get paid to take off his clothes and dance around and I won't attend a bachelorette party that has them (my cousin had a stripper so I met up with them after he was done). I trust my FH not to do anything untrustworthy with a stripper, but I just think it's gross and I'd lose some respect for him if that's what he wanted to do to celebrate us getting married.

What kills me is when people judge other people for not wanting their SOs to have strippers. My best friend didn't want her (now) husband to have a stripper, she told him why, and he agreed that he didn't want one, either, and told his groomsmen this. It was a joint bachelor/bachelorette for the start and then the girls left to go clubbing while the guys stayed at the bride and groom's house.

One of the groomsmen ignored the groom's wishes and hired a Craigslist stripper [CONT]

We have been together for a long time. Most people assumed we were married. There will probably be a bridal shower but that is it. I am going to say that I don't get the whole stripper thing either. What's the point of it and who thought of it in the 1st place? Realistically, you might not be married but that is far from being single. My FH travels for work a lot these days. He is way to happy to be home for that stuff. If you don't care about naked dancing people, then have at it. I just don't get it.

My 2 cents ...

I wouldn't care if FH went to strip bar. Maybe cuz I know he wouldn't. He's no prude, just "been there .. done that".

I wouldn't want "buff butlers". Yuck. I'm with April V. LoL

If some couples have a jealousy issue but are OK with a combined party, More Power To Them!

Our parties will be separate.. we have been together for over 7 years and completely trust each other, but that doesn't mean I like the idea of FH going to a strip club, so they aren't. We won't be having strippers at mine either. I think joint parties could be fun depending on the group and ages and interest.. say a group of late twenty-somethings all paired off in couples or already married all going tubing down a river- awesome! FH and I started dating young (17/18) and now we're 24/26 and we have a lot of friends from before we started dating that don't know each other (so it would be weird to try to have a whole event.. they all have different interests) and a lot of them are still single, so we wouldn't want them to feel awkward. Anyway, I think it can work to do a joint party, but I am REALLY looking forward to a weekend with JUST my girls.. and oh yeah! Mine starts TOMORROW!

Who was actually a prostitute (as evidenced by her offering to perform services for cash). The groom high-tailed it out of the basement and didn't come back down until the stripper left. So he hung out with his one gay friend who also didn't want to see the stripper. It ruined his night.

Some of the girls out with the bachelorette party found out through their boyfriends about the stripper and got the bride upset (there was a stripper in her HOUSE), ruining her night. What's funny is that the girls who were rolling their eyes and saying the bride was stupid to get so upset because strippers weren't a big deal were the girls whose boyfriends/fiances were making out with and had their fingers inside the completely naked stripper.

Obviously I feel strongly about what happened that night. Anyway, it's not always about jealousy--it's mostly about respect.

Ew Karen S - I would definitely be pissed if there was a stripper-prostitute in my house without my knowledge.

I told FH I was cool with strippers, but not with lap dances - look but don't touch.

Personally, I would do a Thunder Down Under show (or Magic Mike if anyone knows where I can get Channing ;-) ), but that's as close as I would want to get.

I fully agree with Amanda G.

Strippers have absolutely nothing to do with our lives on a day-to-day basis, so they will have absolutely nothing to do with our lives shortly before our wedding. Not to mention I have my own personal complex with male strippers that I'd rather not go into lol

With that being said, both my FH and I have been to a strip club at least once before, before we met. However, we both agree that having one at either parties would just be awkward. I mean, on any other normal day of the year, neither of us would be comfortable with a naked person of the opposite sex that is not our significant other anywhere near us....and it has NOTHING to do with jealousy....we just don't understand how a bachelor/bachelorette party makes it any different.

I do not care, however, what other couples choose to do! Although i do wonder who in the world started this "tradition."

FH won't step foot in a strip club. Not because I won't let him, but because he is a complete germaphobe and they scare the crap out of him. I would think this was boy BS until he once called me from a strip club to come pick him up and then spent FORTY FIVE MINUTES in the shower.

Anyway, our parties are separate. Guys are going to AC to gamble. My sister won't tell me what she's planning, but I think it involves a wine tour. Neither involve strippers. If the guys wind up at one in AC somehow I would honestly probably laugh at FHs reaction.

Fh and I are having a combined party. We are both in our late 30's and it has nothing to do with jealousy. We did our separate party days both been to strip clubs ( personally I don't see the excitement of a sweaty person all over me after they have been all over everyone else lol ) just not for me. All our friends who are in the wedding are married or underage. So all the adults are doing dinner and the casino for ours. I agree with everyone else its a preference to each person. I hope you guys have a great night

Maybe the strip clubs around here are different than other places but I know for sure from being there myself that they can't touch you and you can't touch them. I guess for that reason I never understood why people get jealous and are afraid their significant other will cheat at a strip club. Honestly, they have a better chance of doing that at a bar!

Personally, I could care less if FH goes to one on his bachelor party. I'm not sure what the girls have planned for me but if we end up at one, I know FH wouldn't care either. Were comfortable enough in our relationship to trust each other.

I agree with Amanda G too. I don't get how strippers and/or getting vomit-worthy drunk have anything to do with an impending marriage.... The last think I'd want to see in my living room is a naked former pizza delivery guy. Ick. (And trust me, this has nothing to do with me being a minister, lol) It just doesn't seem like a fun night out.

The whole naked dancing for money thing is kind of sleezy and weird and uncomfortalb to me, (and probably to the naked people too) but hey, that's me. I don't even get the concept of the 'bachelorette and bachelor' parties.....it's like this is the last time you're ever going to have fun? Weird.

Julesieee, you just totally cracked me up!