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Veronica
Expert August 2020

May brides and your plan of action?

Veronica, on March 18, 2020 at 12:15 PM Posted in Community Conversations 5 68
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May brides - with all that’s going on in the world, what are you doing about your wedding? Did you have to post-pone or cancel? Did people stop RSVP’ing? We talked to our venue and for now everything should be proceeding for our May 17 date but the planning and excitement has lost its fizzle :/ my fiancé’s grandparents who he is so close with and I am too won’t be able to attend any wedding festivities due to their age. We don’t know what to do and we’re just taking it day by day and not making any decisions yet!

68 Comments

  • Brenda
    Beginner August 2020
    Brenda ·
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    My wedding is May 16th and we are also taking it day by day. We are both extremely close to our grandparents and the possibility of them not going does hurt us but we rather they be safe. 90% of my guest are all in town so we have yet to see any large amount of declined RSVP's. At the end of the day we just want to get married so we will be following through as long as we are permitted. I can't take the stress of rescheduling and re-planning our wedding. Good-luck to you both and I hope you find peace in your decision Smiley heart

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  • Alythea
    Beginner May 2020
    Alythea ·
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    Wedding is May 22nd 2020 just taking it day by day I’m not worrying really until April. I think everything is going to workout in the end.
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    Our wedding is May 23 and as of right now we are still planning on having it but we are definitely taking it day by day. We have only gotten about 15 RSVPs so far, all yes, but I understand the hesitation. Most of our guests are out of town including family so I’m not really sure what to do. I almost wish someone would make the decision for me!! Smiley sad I just don’t feel right asking people to come during a crisis like this, but can’t get myself to cancel just yet.
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  • Veronica
    Expert August 2020
    Veronica ·
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    I’m in the same boat girl! We have about 44 RSVP’s who said yes out of a little over a hundred and we haven’t been getting anything since the outbreak which I totally understand! Part of me wants to elope but the other part wants the day to go on if it’s allowed 😔
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  • Serena
    Devoted October 2020
    Serena ·
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    Our date is May 13th and so far we're moving forward. As of yesterday we did have a decrease in guests, but we were already working with such a small crowd. Less than 15 ppl. As you said, its day by day. So far our vendors are still on board. Unless the state says otherwise, we're doing it lol. My final fitting for tomorrow was rescheduled for April 2nd. FH will also have to wait for his suit alterations, but its okay. We'll get through it whether we have to postpone or not! Positive vibes though!
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    I feel the same! Part of me wants to elope with just immediate family (and honestly save some money by doing that) but the other part of me wants the wedding we’ve worked so hard for. Even thinking about our grandparents not being there either way is killing us 😭 I just keep going back and fourth about it all, it’s so sad!!
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  • Nefetera
    Super March 2015
    Nefetera ·
    • Flag
    May 23rd taking it day by day. April 15 is my deadline to make decison. At this point invites has been sent out from friday March 13th. Im remaining positve however prepared to postpone
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  • Veronica
    Expert August 2020
    Veronica ·
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    Have you emailed any of your vendors?
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  • Nefetera
    Super March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Yes they are willing to work with me with a new date or giving me my money back
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  • Chantal
    Expert August 2020
    Chantal ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents Smiley sad It's good that you are asking them to take their health into consideration first, though.

    (May 23rd) We are, like everyone else, going day by day. Almost all of my guests are super optimistic and would probably attend regardless of CDC regulations (I would POSTPONE if we needed, I'm not trying to say that we'll do whatever we want even at a major health risk to everyone). Invitations get sent out next week. The whole planning has lost its fizzle thing... SUPER relatable. I can't even force myself to look at wedding stuff because I get so depressed. I've made myself take a break from Facebook and social media (since that's where a lot of the panic-news that isn't legit is being spread) and I'm focusing on the positives.

    I gave myself the rest of the week off. This weekend was going to be my bachelorette party (my whole wedding party is scattered in the state, so we had to do an early one), but we had to cancel, so I'm letting myself have a weekend of just relaxing, playing video games, and doing whatever it takes to clear my mind. Next week, I will start planning again. I don't want to be caught behind if things clear up!

    Wishing hope and encouragement for all you brides! If anyone wants to message me, I'm 100% down to talk out our wedding stresses more in depth and get to know y'all. We're in this thing together!

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  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Our date is May 30th. I live in New Hampshire and work in Vermont. Currently in our state (and surrounding states) schools are closed (until April 6), bars and restaurants can only provide take-out or delivery options, and most local businesses are closed or otherwise seriously restricted for the next 2.5 weeks at this point. Many employers are encouraging employees to work from home if they can. There are very few cars on the road or people out and about. Currently gatherings of more than 25 people are restricted on the state level, and the CDC is recommending limiting events to 50 people or less until early May. Overnight, the number of confirmed Covid19 cases in our state doubled.

    At this point we are in a wait-and-see pattern but I am coming to terms with the fact that our wedding is unlikely to go on as we originally planned. We're in our mid-30s and our parents are in their late 60s/early 70s. We were going to have a smaller wedding (60-80 guests), mostly local, with a handful of people traveling and a handful of older guests (my FH's aunts and uncles are similar age to our parents). Most of our guests are unlikely to be those that would be severely impacted, but I cannot imagine having a wedding without our parents present (I lost my dad in college and it would break my heart for my FH to have to go through having our wedding without his dad there) or putting them at risk, having to pick-and-choose from our guests to have a smaller event, or postponing by a few months in the hopes that things will be better and we can line up all the same vendors. We've already had stuff customized with our date and because we are older and wanting to try for a baby putting off our wedding by a year or even several months is not desirable. My MOH and mom are in New Jersey, so we can't even do something that is super local with our closest friends/family. Unless this is much more under control by then, I just don't see us winning this situation at all, but it's still too soon to tell. So far we are not reaching out to vendors and have only heard from our photographer (who is getting married May 16th, so she's in a similar boat and it's honestly the only comforting thing to know a real actual person in our area who is being impacted in the same way). We are just waiting and hoping.

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  • Veronica
    Expert August 2020
    Veronica ·
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    Yes girl same here we’re taking it day by day and it doesn’t help to see so many other April/May brides have to cancel or postpone and we aren’t since we don’t want to make any rush decisions 😢 they are my fiancé’s grandparents but love them like my own and we are so devastated they cannot make it. Yes the fizzle and spark is not there and I almost want it to be here already for all of this stress to be done! Have you talked to your vendors yet?
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  • Chantal
    Expert August 2020
    Chantal ·
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    Yeah, I emailed all of them and I have responses from everyone but the videographer. In case we have to postpone, everyone is more than willing to move the date without charging us extra or cancellation fees. We don't have very many vendors, since a lot of it is DIY, so I don't think it would be impossible to find new dates... but even if we were to postpone, I have no idea when we'd postpone to. I'd want to do it in August, but that almost feels too soon... just ready to be married. My FH and I talked about doing a small ceremony and then doing a reception later, but we both agree that it just won't be the same. It's all just so crazy how fast it became a real possibility, you know?

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  • Laree's
    Devoted May 2021
    Laree's ·
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    My wedding was May 1st but we just postponed til May 1st 2021! We are very sad about it but feel it’s what’s best for everyone. our plan is to possibly get married at the court once this craziness settles down and then still have our dream wedding we’ve planned for and be able to celebrate with all our love ones!
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  • SoonToBeFreishtat
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    SoonToBeFreishtat ·
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    May 19th in Vegas (we are in DE/MD so traveling) and postponed to July 16th. Chapel & hair/makeup vendor are switching dates for us and flights and hotels were no biggie to move around. I know there is a CHANCE that we would've been perfectly fine but we family that right now are on strict travel restrictions from their jobs and one that is immuno-compromised. Plus, switching now just gives me peace of mind but it was DEFINITELY a hard decision since I had my heart set on our original date.


    At the end of the day, we're still getting married. Just giving ourselves a couple of extra months to make sure it's perfect.

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  • Dana
    Dedicated May 2020
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    We're May 9th (or a different day now in May). We had gotten a few RSVPs, but nothing the past week or so. In fact, FH already had relatives suggesting we postponed.
    We talked about it yesterday, and decided we're just going to try and get married at the courthouse or by our officiant on our original day (or whenever we can after, if the Tri-State restrictions are in place still). Neither one of us really wants to re-plan the wedding. We'll have a smaller dinner with our local guests after things calm down. We're going to try and see if we can get a refund from our venue since it's not too close. Otherwise maybe we'll just have the meal there. I was optimistic until this weekend, when everything in NJ and NY started shutting down. I've been a longtime lurker here, but it's SSI helpful to have other brides that understand (and unfortunately are facing the same problem). I hope everyone gets their perfect wedding in the end, even if it's not what you originally planned


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  • Ali
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Ali ·
    • Flag

    Finding this thread extremely helpful and would love to keep the conversation going as things progress. Our date is 5/23 in CT. Same story as you ladies...bridal shower next week (3/28) postponed, bachelorette party the last weekend of April likely off. We are just taking it day by day. But I can completely relate on the planning front. Things were starting to get busy (and exciting!) just before this all hit, and now it's just...well, you all know. We just don't know what to do. I too have grandmothers who if they didn't attend, it would break my heart. We don't want to put anyone in harm's way, but I feel like the decision is just too early to call. I keep asking myself if it's ignorant to think that we could still make this happen on 5/23, but we just have to go with the information we've been given at this time, which to us, is not enough. My fiance is way more clear-headed than I am in these situations, so we discussed at length last night...invitations will still go out next week, and we will likely include some sort of insert along the lines of "we hope to celebrate with you on 5/23, but just in case...etc. etc.) Sending you all lots of love and health in these coming weeks.

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  • E
    Beginner May 2020
    Erica ·
    • Flag

    Hi guys! We are supposed to get married on May 16 in Maryland. Our
    venue told us that as of right now, the venue is still going as is with
    May weddings. For those getting married in March and April, they are
    giving couples two options: to have the wedding but only up to 50 guests
    (that includes vendors) or to postpone. We have not had to make that
    decision yet but we were trying to come up with a plan b to still have
    the legal ceremony on the same date and have the reception at a later
    time. It looks like this will not be able to happen either because the
    city has stopped issuing marriage licenses for the foreseeable future.
    We already sent out invitations. I am not sure what to do.


    It
    is tough. I feel angry, disappointed, helpless, frustrated, selfish for
    worrying about a wedding when there are people who are are worrying
    about how they will keep a roof over their head and food on the table,
    and a whole bunch of other emotions.
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  • Amanda
    Savvy May 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    My wedding is May 16th and we are still planning on having it. For one reason is my Grandpa is 93 years old and if my fiance and I dont have it now as planned, I dont know if my Grandpa will be around when we do! My grandpa live 2 hours away from my fiance and I, so he's close where my parents can bring him. Now with that being said, i told my out of state family and friends if they choose not to come, no hard feelings and any of the local too! But, my fiance's family is all out of state, so not sure what they are going to do yet. My fiance is ok with it either way...he knows its important for my Grandpa to be there! I wish you and your fiance the best and congratulations.
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  • Amanda
    Savvy May 2020
    Amanda ·
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    My wedding is May 16th and we are still planning on having it. For one reason is my Grandpa is 93 years old and if my fiance and I dont have it now as planned, I dont know if my Grandpa will be around when we do! My grandpa live 2 hours away from my fiance and I, so he's close where my parents can bring him. Now with that being said, i told my out of state family and friends if they choose not to come, no hard feelings and any of the local too! But, my fiance's family is all out of state, so not sure what they are going to do yet. My fiance is ok with it either way...he knows its important for my Grandpa to be there! I wish you and your fiance the best and congratulations.
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