Diz
Dedicated October 2020

May 16 brides---what Next Due to Coronavirus?

Diz, on March 17, 2020 at 10:43 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 30
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Hello, I am scheduled to get married on May 16. I mostly, want to hear from May 16 brides because we are the ones that are having weddings right after the 8 week guideline. Are you planning on continuing on with your wedding as planned, canceling, or postponing? Are you finding that your guests are RSVPing No? Do you think they will want to attend your wedding, just shy of the 8 week recommendation? If you have rescheduled, did you have a hard time finding a date? So many questions, and not one clue what to do.

30 Comments

Latest activity by Amber, on April 11, 2020 at 2:32 AM
  • Kayla
    Devoted May 2020
    Kayla ·
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    I have contacted all my vendors to find out what the financial implications would be if we decided or were forced to postpone. I am hoping to hold out as long as possible before deciding on a coarse of action. In reality I fear we will end up postponing until this time next year to give plenty of time for the world to get back to normal. KILLS ME but what can you do... So far all of my vendors have been open to rescheduling without any extra fees. Ill just be out the money on things with the date on them like or signage and favors and all that. It all just sucks right now!

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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    I’m actually May 23, not 16, but maybe my feelings on this will help. We aren’t planning on postponing yet, we actually sent out invites a week ago before the 8 week ban started 🤦🏻‍♀️ People are actually RSVPing yes, both local and out of town, so that makes me feel a little better. If worst comes to worst we will just have a very small ceremony and postpone the reception. It’s so stressful but I’m trying to remain hopeful since there is so much unknown. Definitely don’t want to have a big event if the risk is still so incredibly high. Praying for you and all spring brides since this is literally such a crazy time!! ❤️
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  • Diz
    Dedicated October 2020
    Diz ·
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    Thank you! It does help. I still have many who have said yes. My issue isn't on the marriage we can get married whenever. It's the costs that are involved with the wedding. I had a 150 person guarantee with my venue, so if no one wants to attend, I would ideally like to postpone it. I would be willing to go forward with 100 or so and not feel like it was still a waste of money.

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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    I feel the same way! We invited 250 people but even if we only have 100 show up I’d still like to have it. My problem is that deadlines are coming up for the big payments to vendors and my venue, and for some reason that’s worrying me. And same as you I’m worried about catering for 100 v 250. 😭
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  • J
    Beginner May 2020
    Jordan ·
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    May 15th bride here. Mine was going to be very small (~35) but everyone was travelling by plane to get there since most of our family is out of state. I'm thinking of contingencies and talking with our vendors. We had to pay our event fee the morning of the <50 8 week ban and they said they'd only refund us if air travel to California was cancelled. I'm leaning towards going forward with marrying no matter what on that day (courthouse, etc.) but potentially postponing the celebration until the same day next year so everyone can attend. If someone unknowingly carried COVID to our reception, small as it may be, and carried it on somewhere else resulting in deaths I would never forgive myself for plowing forward with MY BIG DAY. As of yet we're not cancelling anything, but letting our guests know it's a very real possibility, and speaking with vendors to know our options.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Amanda ·
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    May 16 wedding here too! I just contacted my venue and they said event minimums could be lowered due to this coronavirus. I would contact your venue too they might be willing to lower the minimums for you too!

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  • Diz
    Dedicated October 2020
    Diz ·
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    So when you say going forward and providing a reception later is your venue allowing you to reschedule? Who has money to pay for all of the same vendors again?
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  • Diz
    Dedicated October 2020
    Diz ·
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    It's so interesting most of these venues or vendors dont seem to care. Like the CDC recommends this and the venue is just willing to keep going ahead??
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  • J
    Beginner May 2020
    Jordan ·
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    My wedding is very atypical, ceremony in Yosemite that only cost $150, and a big dinner at an airbnb we're staying in for the weekend. The only vendors we have are photographer, catering, and the "venue" as the airbnb. If your vendors have any kind of heart they should be more flexible in this time and offer refunds or at least let you postpone. I understand it's hard for them too so this may not be possible, but they'd probably rather have your business in 6-12 months and make you happy then piss you off and get poor reviews. If they aren't offering any kind of assistance then maybe you do something different, or smaller at a later date. It's not ideal, but none of this is. Having a loved one die because someone you know went to a wedding and contracted the virus then spread it around is a much worse thing to deal with than losing money.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Yeah I know right. They said that they are currently staying open and fully operational and they don't see themselves closing. I think since nothing like this has really happened before no one really knows what to do.

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  • Veronica
    Expert June 2021
    Veronica ·
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    May 17 bride here and still stressing even though our venue said that the wedding will still go on and we still plan on getting married that day if it’s allowed I’m trying to think about it so much but it’s all I think about 😔 we have been getting a few RSVP’s here and there but mailbox has been empty! My fiancé’s grandparents won’t make it now and we are soo sooo bummed
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  • E
    Dedicated May 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    May 16 destination bride here. I have reached out to 3 of our vendors so far to find out what are options are. I'm finding they are willing to transfer our balance without fees if we postpone but if we cancel outright, we are still responsible for the full balance. 😳 If we were able to cancel with a refund for the big stuff, I would've pushed to elope and would've thrown a party when it's safe to do so but I can't stand the idea of losing all that money so we will most likely postpone to next May. Our wedding is in FL so I'm hesitant to book during hurricane season and there are too many unknowns with the virus. We're not making any decisions until April 7th. My dress is in alterations now and my next fitting on April 24th. I may have to hold onto it for another year and hope it fits by then. I'm sorry we're all going through this so close to our wedding day. 😭
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  • Diz
    Dedicated October 2020
    Diz ·
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    Exactly! I'm not paying for no services rendered. Thats crazy! Especially when this is an act of God. Most of my vendors dont have a cancellation clause in their contracts. We arent choosing to not hold it, the govt is choosing it for us. I've heard you may have rights under this circumstance.
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  • Amber
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Amber ·
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    I’m a May 16th bride... I don’t know what we are going to do yet. All of my vendors are really good about everything but I don’t know if they will all be available on the same day!?! I think I am going to wait until April 16th to see what is going on in the world. Hopefully things are better and we can proceed as planned. We are moving our honeymoon (Cruise) date out a few months so we don’t have to deal with those issues.
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  • Alba
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Alba ·
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    May 23rd here! So far I’m keeping the date since it’s two weeks after the 8week Mark. I’ve reached out to the venue and she said as of right now we are still on but gave me available dates.
    I reached out to all my vendors and they also said they can reschedule but it’s just going to be difficult to get them available for the same day..
    I’m trying to stay positive for now. I did have to reschedule my bridal shower. My bachelorette is scheduled for April 30th I’m scottsdale. Not sure how that’s going to play out.
    I think by then I should know what’s going to happen and if I need to postpone.
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  • Alicia
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Alicia ·
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    Hi I'm getting married me 16th as well and I have had guess still RSB peen but I have also had a handful of people asking me if we are postponing or canceling. Our venue has not called us to postpone or cancel but I feel like it is just a matter of time. Part of me still wants to get married on me 16th with a small gathering of people and then have a large reception later. With 2 years of planning I am very sad to make a decision like that. As for my shower and bachelorette party I am not sure what I'm going to do. Deposits are already put down for the wedding which is 2 hours away from our Hometown and for the bachelorette party. I feel like so much money is going to be lost if I try and change the date.
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  • J
    Beginner May 2020
    Jordan ·
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    Has anyone else with this date gotten their marriage license? We can't in California any longer and we missed it by a day. Our plan B was to get married that day and reschedule the celebration, but now we can't do that either. Was anyone else smart enough to get theirs early on? I really doubt the state will open back up in time for me to get mine.

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  • Veronica
    Expert June 2021
    Veronica ·
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    We couldn’t get ours and I’m in Northern California our local county clerks office is closed until further notice 🥺
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  • J
    Beginner May 2020
    Jordan ·
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    I checked 5 counties last week and there was one still open so we applied that night and by the time we finished the online form they were also closed. That was even before the governor's stay in place policy was announced. I don't think they're going to reopen anytime soon, and when they do, they'll probably be swamped.

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  • Julia
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Julia ·
    • Flag

    Kayla - I'm glad you mentioned stuff with the date on it!!! We engraved 130 mason jars with 05.16.2020! Signs are an easy fix (hopefully), but not something engraved. Our plan is to use them anyways. Everyone who will be there knows this is not our fault, and will completely understand the wrong date being on stuff. I would not spend more money (and add stress) re-doing things that are permanent.

    Dana - I agree. I think the venues and other vendors are so worried about going bankrupt because of this though. As much as it isn't the brides fault this is happening, it is also not theirs. We are also planning a one year "anniversary party", but we do not plan to pay for the venue twice. We plan to have a very very small ceremony day of (parents, grandparents, bridal party only), and then do the anniversary party somewhere less expensive. Since the professional photographer won't be at the anniversary party, I feel like there are more options for venues (and hopefully cheaper options). The only thing we will have to pay for twice is food and the DJ.

    Just wanted to throw in my two cents, as mine is May 16, 2020 too. Making a back up plan wasn't easy - I stayed up until 4:30am one night in a panic. Our back up plan is to do the wedding on the same date, just with immediate family (mom, dad, grandma's) and bridal party only. We would still have our venue, photographer, and DJ. We are doing Chipotle for food, so that will be easy to adjust. These are the people who are most important to us, so I am actually pretty okay with it. It takes the stress of the day off as well, as it will be more relaxed. Then, in one year, we want to have an "anniversary party", where we have our entire guest list attend. It gives me inventive to keep working out for a year, so I can wear my dress again! I already have all the decorations, and I just have to try really hard to not change my mind or taste in a year! (much easier said than done). The anniversary party will also be less stressful, because it will just be us - no bridal party. No formal photos. More of a party. This will, unfortunately, mean we pay for a DJ twice (the wedding venue is luckily owned by family so they are very understanding and flexible).

    My biggest concern right now is when to pull the plug, and say "We are officially going with the back up plan". I found some other brides through Instagram, and they both said end of April / April 25th before they make their decision. I think that's a good time line, but now for the next month, I am not sure how much effort I need to put into planning. I kind of stopped completely. And if we end up being able to go through with everything, then the last month is going to be extra stressful to make up the time lost.

    Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties and Showers are also a concern. When do you have them without it being weird? I am okay if we do our bachelor/bachelorette parties down the road. But having a shower after you are technically married may be weird for some people. Hopefully they understand if we have to have it one random summer weekend.

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