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abbey
Beginner October 2012

matron vs. maid of honor

abbey, on November 8, 2011 at 12:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 32
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I am planning to have a matron of honor and a maid of honor and I am wondering what the correct order in line is for them?? Does the Matron of honor stand closest to the bride then the maid of honor then bridesmaids? Or Maid of Honor then Matron of honor? Please Help!

32 Comments

Latest activity by dancingwiththekumars, on October 1, 2018 at 7:44 PM
  • Miss Tattoo
    VIP September 2012
    Miss Tattoo ·
    • Flag

    It doesn't matter. The title doesn't give one a higher honor over the other. It just means one is married and the other is not. Whoever is closest to you stands next to you.

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  • Amy
    Super June 2011
    Amy ·
    • Flag

    It's the same "position/duty"...Matron just means they are married and maid unmarried. Shouldn't matter what order you put them in.

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  • Future Mrs.
    Devoted March 2012
    Future Mrs. ·
    • Flag

    Maid is not married, matron is married...

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  • Patricia
    Master December 2011
    Patricia ·
    • Flag

    You don't even have to have one closer to you. I was a maid of honor at my friend's wedding a few months ago, she also had a Matron, we both stood behind her, side by side, there was no she gets closer or I get closer, we were both standing next to each other right behind the bride. The best men did the same, then come the bridesmaids behind us, all lined up by height

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  • Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.)
    Master August 2012
    Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.) ·
    • Flag

    Do you have to designate someone who is married as "Matron of Honor"?

    I think it's an old fashioned term and should only apply to people who are at least 50+ and married. My MOH is married and has a baby, but will only be 30 at my wedding.

    Do I have to call her Matron?

    • Reply
  • Brandie
    VIP September 2011
    Brandie ·
    • Flag

    @Tiffany - Yes. It doesn't matter the age, it's whether they are married or not.

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  • The Polka Dot Queen ©
    Master July 2012
    The Polka Dot Queen © ·
    • Flag

    Tiffany, I agree, I don't like the sound of Matron of Honour, mine was married in September, but I still refer to her as Maid, she can call herself Matron if she wants (she likes it I guess). I don't see why it really matters.

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  • abbey
    Beginner October 2012
    abbey ·
    • Flag

    Matron of honor does not matter how old... It just means that they are married. Is it wrong to have both??

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  • J
    Master November 2011
    J&R ·
    • Flag

    Not at all!

    • Reply
  • abbey
    Beginner October 2012
    abbey ·
    • Flag

    THANK YOU!!

    • Reply
  • Corinne S
    VIP November 2012
    Corinne S ·
    • Flag

    I will be having a maid of honor and matron of honor too. To me I am placing them in order of who I am closer to and who deserves the honor more (that sounds harsh but I hope you get what I mean).

    Matron of honor- my FSIL- her and I have become very close and is more of a sister to me than my own sister

    Maid of honor- my sister

    My FSIL will be right next to me and my sister will be second

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  • Army Wife, Navy Sailor
    Expert April 2015
    Army Wife, Navy Sailor ·
    • Flag

    I am glad someone asked them so now i dont have to start a new discussion. For me i have 3 ladies, 1 is sister- in law and 2 are my bestfriends. I have never met my sister in law yet but since her husband is going to be in the wedding i figured she should be two. So for me one do i even need to have her as apart of my bridal party or can i just make all of them MOH so there wouldnt be an issues down the line.

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  • Mrs. Jaclyn Willson
    Master April 2012
    Mrs. Jaclyn Willson ·
    • Flag

    @Navy Bride The girls standing up beside you are girls closest to YOU. If you've never met your SIL, then don't put her up there. just have your two best friends.

    and I agree Matron is for married, and Maid is unmarried.

    But I don't think it should apply to someone who's divorced. My MOH is not married but she's been divorced twice but I am still calling her my maid of honor. Not Matron. I know in some books I've read, Matron is for Married or someone who has ever been married before.

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  • Katie Bug
    Super June 2012
    Katie Bug ·
    • Flag

    I am also having a Matron of Honor (my Mom) and a Maid of Honor (my best friend). I'm putting my Mom first (Matron) because she is my Mom lol...and she is way taller than my best friend. But I agree that you should order them by whoever is closest to you. For my BMs, I didn't want to have to "choose" so I just did them alphabetically haha.

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  • abbey
    Beginner October 2012
    abbey ·
    • Flag

    Corinne- Thank you for your response. This is what I am doing to after all of the discussion and thinking about it. I don't have a sister so I wanted my 2 best friends to be maid of honors, but one is married and one is not. So, I figured I would have a maid and a matron... makes sense right? I am putting my maid of honor first because I have been best friends with her for 18 years. Thanks again!!

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  • abbey
    Beginner October 2012
    abbey ·
    • Flag

    Navy Bride-- I have a sister in law as well, but she is not standing up in my wedding. I have only known her for almost 3 years and all of my girls standing up for me are closer to me than she is... If you have never met her I personally would not have her in it. Up to you.

    • Reply
  • abbey
    Beginner October 2012
    abbey ·
    • Flag

    Jaclyn-- I have never heard of calling someone that is divorced a matron of honor. I am pretty sure that they have to be currently married.

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  • abbey
    Beginner October 2012
    abbey ·
    • Flag

    THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL OF YOUR POSTS!!

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Devoted September 2012
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I've always wondered what the difference was, I'm glad you posted this! I wouldn't call someone a matron unless they were currently married or a widow. In my opinion, a divorced person would not count, but a widowed one would, as I don't see them as really having ended there marriage until they choose to move on.

    • Reply
  • TexasSweetness
    Super May 2012
    TexasSweetness ·
    • Flag

    I agree with the PP that it doesn't matter who you put next to you. It's your personal preference.

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