HailyMarie
VIP June 2017

Master/Mistress of Ceremony?

HailyMarie, on September 21, 2016 at 8:09 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 32
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Let me start by saying I WILL NOT be doing this.

But FSIL asked me who I would be having as the master/mistress of ceremony. Never heard of it. She says basically you ask someone, usually a couple, to basically be slaves of your wedding day in my opinion. She said her wedding she had her aunt & uncle do it. Basically they are in charge of setting things up, cleaning up, cutting cake, making sure things go smoothly.

From my asking around, I see this is super common around here. (MI). However I find this super rude to ask your guests to work at your wedding. Is this a common thing that people think is okay everywhere ?

32 Comments

Latest activity by Nina Arszulowicz, on June 17, 2020 at 7:48 PM
  • MoweryMe
    VIP April 2017
    MoweryMe ·
    • Flag

    I've never ever heard of that before....master of ceremony means someone who announces the events and such (also known as the "MC")

    Whatever she's talking about is dead weird and wrong!

    Keeping things in line and running smoothly?? That's what the DOC is for. LOL

    • Reply
  • Sam
    Super October 2016
    Sam ·
    • Flag

    I've never heard of that and I would never make a family member or friend be my slave for any day. I want them to enjoy the day too! If someone needs help the day of with setting up and all, they should hire a DOC.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I've never heard of this. Your wedding, ideally, is not a circus and none of your friends should be working. A MOC is the DJ, who announces things. the DOC is the person who helps with the decor setup and timeline. The venue people take care of cutting the cake etc.

    Bad concept.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. RATR
    Master September 2016
    Mrs. RATR ·
    • Flag

    Don't let "it's common around here" be a thing. I am from Michigan and I have never heard of this.

    • Reply
  • Taryn
    VIP June 2017
    Taryn ·
    • Flag

    I have never heard of this

    • Reply
  • HailyMarie
    VIP June 2017
    HailyMarie ·
    • Flag

    Apparently the people I've asked are crazy. Ha. My MOH even volunteered her parents up to do this. No way.

    • Reply
  • HailyMarie
    VIP June 2017
    HailyMarie ·
    • Flag

    Okay I googled it guys. It's a real thing apparently. But probably a dated practice since no one has heard of it.


    • Reply
  • M
    Expert September 2016
    MRSFG ·
    • Flag

    It's not slave, it's a person that works at your wedding to help things go smoothly. Don't use family find a professional.

    • Reply
  • OG Brittany
    Master December 2016
    OG Brittany ·
    • Flag

    Wow...I have never heard of this either. Seems like a crazy, and stupid, idea.

    • Reply
  • Punkin Beer
    Master October 2017
    Punkin Beer ·
    • Flag

    I've only heard it through WW and definitely sounded old fashioned. Just hire a Planner or DOC and a DJ/MOC.

    • Reply
  • HailyMarie
    VIP June 2017
    HailyMarie ·
    • Flag

    Yes I would definatley hire a professional if I went this route ! It was just being presented to me that I was to choose a family member/close friend. Which I would not do.

    • Reply
  • Kaitlyn
    Dedicated June 2017
    Kaitlyn ·
    • Flag

    I am also form Michigan and its very common in my area. My Aunt has actually been telling me since I was a little girl that she better get to be my mistress of ceremony. I am getting married at the same location as my reception and the venue is handling pretty much everything. She's sort of just there to double check that everything is running smoothly and that everyone has what they need. She loves party planning and being in charge so she can't wait. She really only needs to "do something" before the ceremony starts after that she gets to enjoy the wedding and reception like all of the other guests.

    • Reply
  • Mercy
    Expert September 2016
    Mercy ·
    • Flag

    Well we are using FH's sister and she is super delighted to do this! I do not see this as enslaving a family member neither do I see it as rude or tacky. Its not work, just as having a bridal party is not asking them to work for you. You may as well get professionals to be in your bridal party if you think that's putting friends and family to work.

    It's usually best for your MC to be familiar with the bride and groom. For us, all she is required to do is announce the start of each event during the reception to keep things coordinated and on track. We have a DJ, a bartender, a caterer... so she is not required to oversee those areas...

    • Reply
  • Phylicia
    Super April 2017
    Phylicia ·
    • Flag

    My cousins are being our Master/Mistress of Ceremony.. Any wedding I've been to, there has been one...I don't have money to hire a professional.. even if I did... I'm not sure they would quite know or understand my thoughts or feelings... My cousin is pretty much my sister, she is and always been good at coordinating things as well as getting her word across to how things need to be done.. I'm very close to her husband as well. His main goal for the day is to stick with FH before everything starts. He's a good communicator and knows how to distract FH to keep him calm lol and to make sure he gets there on time. As for her, if there is something I don't like, I'm not always one to speak up, a lot of times I'm more of a 'whatever, it is what it is', she puts her foot down.. She's having a lot of fun planning with me. My mom and dad have been master/mistress multiple times. They never saw it as a job. In fact my mom had extreme pleasure kicking someone out, when one bride said a person was not welcome there and didn't have an invite, lol. Not necessarily "slaves", I see it as two people I trust and I can depend on to notice something that isn't right if I don't see ...

    BUT... I have witnessed the slave part... My aunt was a mistress for another cousin. 1. she was from a different state. 2. Not even that close to my cousin, why my cousin picked her is beyond me (and my aunt) 3. She had it at the B.O.B (if youre from west Michigan), they had a coordinator and that coordinator actually pushed all the jobs on to my aunt. Super rude..

    My aunt didn't sit but 5 minutes the entire night... they even made her clean up decorations and tell guests when it was time to leave. stupid... The BOB sucks as far as weddings, in case any brides around here are looking... Oh and my cousin had a 7 page detailed list of tasks that my aunt had to do... Pathetic if you ask me... Some on the list were "Check groomsmans teeth and zippers" "Check nylons on bridesmaid for runs" it was sickening what my aunt went thru..

    • Reply
  • AlmostMrsCorcino
    Super October 2016
    AlmostMrsCorcino ·
    • Flag

    No thats why you get a venue that sets up, a dj to keep the flow of things and you type up a time line and make sure every vendor gets a copy... eta: the only person who will have ajob in my wedding is my aunt, and she will be introducing us walking in, she is sassy and love attention plus she is funny, and she offered...

    • Reply
  • Amy
    Just Said Yes September 2016
    Amy ·
    • Flag

    I haven't heard it called that, but I basically had a friend do that for me at my wedding. The way I approached it is that until the rehearsal started I was the one who had the answers to everyone's questions about wedding details, but as soon as the rehearsal started I handled the mantle off to her and it worked really well!

    I didn't have money to have everything done professionally, so this was a good solution for us. Where I'm from in central KY it's completely normal to have friends and family help with things like that.

    • Reply
  • HailyMarie
    VIP June 2017
    HailyMarie ·
    • Flag

    I can agree with the way some of y'all are viewing it ! The way FSIL made it seem, was not appealing. She had a catered wedding, but they brought their own apps (that's a whole different demon) & they had their MOC preparing apps, clearing tables, etc.

    I can see it being acceptable with family traditions that some of you have brought up. As long as the guest is able to enjoy their time at your wedding & not seem like an employee.

    Answering questions & things of that nature seem acceptable.

    @lela I'm from W Michigan & have been to the bob on many occasions. Not for a wedding, but they suck at everything else. lol I hate that place.

    • Reply
  • Laine
    VIP September 2017
    Laine ·
    • Flag

    Our MOC is the DJ who we hired. We also have a DOC who sets everything up and tears everything down and works with the DJ to time everything and keep the day flowing. So no....you don't have your friends work our wedding. This is why you hire vendors.

    • Reply
  • jazminl05
    Super October 2016
    jazminl05 ·
    • Flag

    So they are essentially just not paying for a day of coordinator/mc/bridal asst to do any of that for them lolol

    • Reply
  • Mrs. CK
    VIP November 2015
    Mrs. CK ·
    • Flag

    Yeah sounds like an unpaid DOC. I wouldn't want my family members to make decisions or work on my wedding day, I'd want them to enjoy it.

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