I come from a lower middle class background. My mom spent most of her working career as a baker in a grocery store and my dad was a welder. There were four kids in my family and I'm the youngest. It took years for my dad to get pay raises and it was difficult as they had to pay mortgages and everyday expenses. There were no vacations, no outings to amusement parks in the state, no outings to concerts, pro sports events, college sports, events etc.
I was able to go to college on a partial scholarships, but still had to take out loans. I got engaged two years ago and my fiancée comes from an upper middle class background, mother is a physician's assistant and her father is a lawyer. She never knew what it was like to never go anywhere during summer, Christmas vacations, or spring breaks. Her family vacations several times a year. My family never had the means to travel. She had a new car as a teenager while I was able to get a license, but was dependent on public transit during high school and college.
Getting to know her family has been difficult because her parents don't get the struggles my parents had. I do feel somewhat inferior to them and I don't think I will ever be able to be fully comfortable with them as we don't have anything in common. I also worry about the future if my fiancée and I decide to have kids because her parents have set up college funds for their grandchild and would want to to do the same for our kids in event we choose to have kids. That would probably make my parents feel useless. Recently, my fiancée and I bought a house and her parents bought a washer and dryer for us and my parents' housewarming gift to us consisted of an afghan my mother crocheted and several pieces of cookware. My parents told me that they felt embarrassed by not being able to give a better gift. I haven't shared that with my fiancée because I don't want to pit our families against each other. However, it's difficult for me to know that at the end of the day her family wins out over mine because of money and other resources they have.
I'm dreading the wedding because I know my fiancee's mother will be wearing an expensive dress at the wedding, while my mom at best will have something that costs maybe $300. My mom is also working on a quilt for my fiancee as a bridal shower gift which I know probably won't measure up to the gifts she'll gift from her mom and other well to do relatives. I'm having a tough time trying to accept that my family will always be the lesser family.
