Married without a license?

@EricaTx Yup I realize that, and stated that in my post.

No, that's pretty rare lol.

Thank you all. I totally forgot about the officiant and the validity of his work if I don't have a license.

Personally, I don't see the need for legal documents to prove my commitment to FH, however, it's obviously hugely important for other transactions and such. My main concern is the chronology of it all and if I could squeeze by with getting it after the ceremony.

I know this isn't directly related to this post, but did anyone ever find out what happened with the lady who was getting married to her FH and found out a few days before the ceremony that the FH's divorce was never finalized? Did they ever get it resolved?

Claudia - I hope everything works out with the timing.

@Claudia, I don't think it's about the validity of the Officiant's work, it's the fact that most Officiants will not marry you without a valid marriage license.

The need for legal documents is what people in your country are fighting for rights to have. Maybe you shouldn't trivialise that.

Also to those asking, he's in training on base during and past business hours, but *sometimes/rarely* gets released early. Base is about an hour away so even if he can get away at a good time, it might take me a while to drop everything and go down there.

I would talk to the clerk office. If you live in a military town they may make exceptions for military personal.

Historical "not married / married" story: Mick Jagger "married" Jerry Hall in a foreign ceremony (Bali maybe?) but they "forgot" to file the paperwork afterwards. They were never really legally married but she prevailed in court anyway when they "divorced."

If you're not a celeb, maybe do the paperwork if you want the legal part.

@Claudia his best bet would be asking his CO if he could come in late. To apply for a license in Arlington, you have to be in the office before 3:30 so he would have to leave incredibly early. I would have him check with his CO, call the court house and make an 8 am appointment. The military is generally understanding about weddings and babies but it will really depend on his CO. And being in training makes everything way more complicated. Good luck!

Our officiant refuses to do the ceremony without the license.

...not concerned about the legal paperwork....

@Emmy and @JessieJV - Maybe I didn't communicate clearly. Yes, the paperwork is important, and I that's not even a matter of opinion. I'm wondering about the timing (before religious ceremony vs after), but as I'm learning from everyone, it's up to the officiant.

If I didn't care, I wouldn't ask, but I'm asking because I'm desperate to find out what's ok....

I would be desperate to make it legal. Rather than asking us if you can just skip it for now, I would be proactive and focus on getting the license.

@Claudia, your words were: "Personally, I don't see the need for legal documents to prove my commitment to FH, however, it's obviously hugely important for other transactions and such."

Reading that, I and other people obviously, take it to mean that you don't care about the "Legality" of being married.

As for the timing issue, if you got your marriage license at a later date, then you would have to be married then, you are not MARRIED until that license is signed and filed.

Here's the situation, in a nutshell:

Your FH needs to go to his commanding officer TODAY and tell him he needs to take time off to get a marriage license. The CO will not refuse this; that would be extraordinarily assholey.

Get your license; get married. Write up a cute BAM. That's it. Problem solved.

That's what you do. Now go do it.

@Kristin I have wondered about that bride too....

@Athena, I feel like with all of the support we provided we were due an update. Oh well - thanks for letting me know you haven't seen anything either.

@Lively, I love your explanation

@Emma, I hope OP is off doing what she needs to do right now!

For all your legal paperwork it will have the date you got the legal paperwork and you will be forced to say your vows again at the courthouse to make it "Official" They won't take the date when you did it in the church. It would have taken away from my wedding honestly, knowing that I had to redo my vows again later...