Married groomsmen

DF will be asking his two best friends (J & T) to be groomsmen. J & T are brothers. J is married, and T isn’t but has been in a relationship for a few years. I’m not super close with J’s wife, but we are friends. I feel that the respectful thing to do would be to ask her to be a bridesmaid, that way she doesn’t feel left out or awkward. But the problem is, I would feel bad if I asked Js wife but not Ts girlfriend. I’m not friends with her, not because of any I’ll feelings, but just because we haven’t talked or hung out much, and we never see each other. I’ve said hi to be a couple times and that’s it.. So I’m not keen on asking her as well, but I don’t want there to be any hurt feelings or drama... how would you ladies approach this?