Married bridesmaids who isn’t happy with my color choice

I'm very sorry someone is ruining wedding planning for you, but it sounds like she's jealous she didn't get the wedding she probably dreamed of & feels like she was robbed. She may have wanted dark green or liked it, but she chose to elope (in January, we weren't locked down so she could have had an actual wedding). This is so silly & such a non-issue that's almost laughable. You need to have a sit down with her & just let her know that while you're sorry she didn't get a big wedding, it's not your problem either & it's unfair to you (and everyone else) that she's attempting to make the planning miserable for you. A true friend wouldn't allow themselves to become so jealous that they'd try to change your wedding details. Dark green is a color that anyone can use & she's welcome to use it if her husband ever chooses to hold a ceremony.

Wow. The things that people get mad about is amazing to me. There’s no reason you both couldn’t have same color unless you all have the same guest list. Honestly most people couldn’t tell you what the bridesmaids wore.

View Quoted Comment Lol Gen, seriously this!! I picked a color for my bridesmaids that I loved and now I’m like ...wait I want all your dresses ?! You all probably don’t care about my dusty blue anyway! But I love them. I WISH they would have the same color for their weddings if I’m in their bridal parties so is finally get to wear one !!!

View Quoted Comment Definitely this— sounds like her issue and honestly like maybe something she’d be best off working through with a therapist.
Makes the what to do part hard. Because for me it would mean stepping back a little from sharing wedding details with her , both because I don’t want to bum her out but also because I don’t want to bring her down . So, I guess I’d try to set an expectation of that. She’s not in a place where she can be as excited about your wedding as you’d like.

But, that doesn’t mean you deserve to get your parade rained on! If the color came up again, I’d try not to get defensive, but offer quick consolation that it’s a great color and most wedding guests are different and forget those details anyway and there’s nothing wrong with overlap (just means we both have good taste!) and then try to move off it quickly, changing the subject to try not to give her time to protest. But I certainly wouldn’t change my vision because it overlapped with hers.
SIDENOTE : my brother and I got married 6 weeks apart and had outrageously similar themes (both beach weddings), down to small details (buoys as part of table numbers). Heck, we even shared some decorations! But, we are super different people and have super different circles and our weddings were SO different and so unique to us that no one would’ve even noticed some of the items were the same because the execution was so different — even the overlapping guests. Different couples create different weddings no matter what. I guess that’s a talking point if she’s in a place to hear it, but not , I’d just minimize the details I shared with her. If eventually she’s harping on every little thing I’d probably have to have a heart to heart that she’s kind of bringing me down and making me not want to share with her which is sad because you value her opinion sort of thing ....but, def keep your color , and your vision. She’ll get over it...or she won’t , but frankly that would make her bad company anyway, and good riddance !

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Hahaha right? I remember when I went shopping with my bridesmaids being like dang this is pretty, I want to pick a dress with this color too! lol.

I totally get it!!!!! I have friends like this too!!!!!!

KEEP THE BRIDESMAID COLOR SHE CAN DEAL.

But could you maybe compromise and maybe plan flowers together? That way if she chooses to stay with the green (she probably won't let's be honest) then both of your flowers will be different! She is probably bummed about having to elope, and this might bridge the weird gap of awkwardness between the two of you.

One of my old friends married into an Irish family, and both of her sister in laws had their bridesmaids colors as dark green. It's not a terrible thing to have repeating colors. It happens all the time!

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I think this is best too. I feel that if you bring it up to her to even "talk" about it she will blow it out of proportion. I think its best to keep on swimming.

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I agree with this. It's a color; you can't dibs a color.