Making Guests Feel Special

As long as you have good, catered food, an open bar, and music, people will be taken care of.

Serve the highest quality food and drink you can afford and you are 95% of the way there. Enough decently-comfortable chairs for everyone, at enough tables so you have room to put your elbows out without smacking someone in the face. A great DJ to keep the vibe strong. That pretty much covers it.

I think it's also important to try to go around during the reception and thank everyone for coming or acknowledging them in some way

@Melissa. Mmm. My sister passed in December. I wanted to do a dedication song to her and my dad (my dad passed 15 years ago yesterday) I wonder if the dedication would be too much. It'll only be four months since my sister at the wedding.

Great food, booze, great music, an interesting ceremony, and a small enough guest list so you can really interact with everyone.

Yummy food and proper temperature. haha like AC if it's summer or heating if it's winter time. I think that goes a long way. You'd ve surprised...

Melissa, you made a great point. I'm sure your sister was honestly trying to include your brother in her wedding, and I have no doubt her motive was pure. However, this is why heavy and extended memorials get dicey. The bride (or groom) isn't the only person in the room who had a close relationship with the deceased. He was somebody else's brother, son, cousin, nephew, friend, or boyfriend. All of those people will mourn again, and a wedding is supposed to be a celebration. There's nothing wrong with a framed photo on a table sitting next to a poem or a lit candle, but I've seen things (I can't share because these people were my clients) that I literally couldn't believe were happening -- in memoriam.

As to the matter at hand, a guest feels appreciated if they are well hosted -- and that means plenty of apps, a good meal, alcohol, climate control, and entertainment (I had to add the climate control because of the multiple "we're having our wedding outside in 90 - 100 degree weather" threads last week).

ETA: Oh...a thank you card. That's really important. Your guests will absolutely remember if you did or did not send one...for a long, long, long, long time. Probably forever.

All you really need is great catered food, booze, and good music.

Thanks for all the great advice so far!! stpaulgal I love what you had to say! I have actually chosen to pay for more tables so that we can fit 8 at a table instead of 10. Celia Milton any ideas for an interesting ceremony?? ive been searching for unique and personal things to incorporate in to our wedding to change things up and make our wedding really personal to us. Melissa and ashmar I am so sorry for your loss... I think its important to remember loved ones during your wedding. I do worry that a song may be very emotional... I know that if it was me I would be a mess, but I cry easily lol what im doing for my cousin that passed away in January is reserving her a seat at our wedding with her picture on it and probably some type of quote about wishing she was there with us. But its all about how you feel you want to honor someone

Crock pot weenies crack me up every time they're mentioned!!

I'm personally a fan of welcome bags. I know people say they are unnecessary but they always make me feel appreciated as a guest. I will be doing them, simple but special with a hand written thank you note

Make sure you go around and greet your guests. I'm a fairly easy going person and most things don't bother me, but at my cousin's wedding, they didn't get up to do table visits or have a receiving line. Instead, when they announced the buffet, the DJ told us to stop by the sweetheart table on our way to the buffet to greet the bride & groom. They couldn't even get up to say hello to their guests, and that rubbed my entire family the wrong way.

We're doing a four course dinner at a top Italian restaurant with an open bar. Sounds special to me.

My fiance and I really want to put a priority on our guests too, we've talked about that a lot. Many weddings seem impersonal to us because of the way the same core group (couple & immediate family & bridal party) can all mob together all day and typically other guests will get like 5-10 words with the bride/groom.

So not only do we want to spend quality time with our guests, but we want our parents and BP to do the same (don't think this is too much of an imposition on them). I don't think we'll end up having a seating chart, but if we did, my unconventional idea was to put a "VIP/host" (parent, close family, or bridal party) at each table instead of doing a "table #1".

Our 40-50 guest list isn't some pared down thing, we have small families/friends so this is literally everyone we have in the world. Nobody is invited just out of obligation (well maybe my sister), so we want to spread the love allll around - if we wanted to spend the day mobbed up with 8 people then that's who we would have invited.

Other than that, it's just basic respect to not have anything for yourself that your guests don't have (champagne toast, etc), feed them good food, and make sure they're comfortable.

I went to a wedding where our table was at the edge of the tent. And it poured. And our table was soaked, which meant we were all wet too.

We also were Called up near last for the food. They ran out. Some people were given seconds before we were served, or asked for more when going through the line so they had it. I got a scoop of green salad with flower petals (and mine had a bug in it), half a chicken breast (that they cut as I was standing there to give it to more people), a table spoon of mashed potatoes (crusty from the edge of the pan) and 2 zucchini rounds.

On the way home I stopped at Wendy's. talk about feeling like we didn't matter at a wedding.

What makes me feel special is having the bride and/or groom coming to say hi even if it's 2 seconds. Also great music/dj

Feeling welcome and truly appreciated for coming. I'm making room to include everyone at our Welcome Dinner the night before. It's not crazy - mostly tacos and margaritas - but since everyone is either family, very good friends, and/or oot, I thought it would be nice.

Also having a small guest list makes doing things like this possible.

As a guest, I appreciate the following:

* starting on time

* not having a 3hr break between ceremony/reception

* comfy chairs

* good meal & drinks (beer-n-soda is fine for this lady)

* good music

* and my #1...being acknowledged by the couple. I understand I'm not the only guest; but when weddings are so huge that you don't even get to personally congratulate them...I feel lost in a sea of just people...

@Melissa. Yes, I will take your advice and LMAO at not sitting your liberal friends with conservative friends. Ohh, and how could we possibly forget, definitely no crockpot weenies!!

@BMG same here. I crack up each time.

I don't recall where I saw this suggestion for honoring lost ones; but the couple had a 'family' table of photos where a pic of each family member was there; not just of the deceased. Personally, I really liked that idea.

Also, is the whole memorial thing somewhat new. I guess I really don't recall this 15 yrs ago & because we don't plan to doing one (certainly not to say we don't love our family/friends that have passed)...make me worry that people will think we are cold. We are not; but it would be just too much for us...for me to handle on my wedding day.