Major disagreements

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OK. But if you won't compromise then where is all your communication getting you? You're just talking at each other with no results. I still think marriage counseling is a good next step. Don't let the wedding overtake the marriage.

I have a similar situation, I am totally estranged from my family. I will have an uncle at the wedding, but that's the only blood relative, other than my 10 to son. Its been just my son and I for so many years that i really learned who my real friends were real fast, and they have been our family for the past 7 years. My FH and i have been together for almost 3 yrs now and he has filled a huge gap in our lives too. His family has also been super accepting, but dt my prior trust issues with family I've not been the easiest to bond with. I've taken this wedding planning time to really try and build my relationship with my FILs.
At first it felt kinda lonely but its gotten so much better. His parents are both so excited and I found out they were bragging to FSIL about all the things I've done to include them in the planning.
I know everyone's situation is different but if you can, try including everyone in his family as much as possible. You will literally be family after the wedding.

Heres the thing... they are your family too! I think it is sweet that your fiance wants to include his family and share the joy of your day. I don't think it should be deal breaker for not getting married, but ultimately that needs to be your decision. What about a smaller elopement and then a reception with everyone?

What if you both compromised? A very small, private wedding with just his immediate family there? That way he can have his family present, but it's not an overwhelming crowd that makes you feel sad and lonely..

I am in a similar situation.. my FH has a huge family and a lot of friends where as I have a super small family and just a few close friends. I prefer to elope but he would like family to be there, so we agreed on very close family and friends be present.

I would recommend couple's counseling as others have mentioned. Learning to come up with compromises is a huge part of communicating, especially in a marriage.


As for the situation itself...I am pretty stubborn but if I were you, I would give him this one. Maybe you can compromise and do a small intimate wedding? The thing is, if it means a lot to him it isn’t fair to expect him not to have his own family there because of things in your family that have nothing to do with FH.

I am probably the same as you, I am loner... only person i need is him. our kids.

I have no friends. i have acquaintances and we dont even talk unless its social media. there is no hanging out. Whoever he hangs out with is who i hang with too.... Im not very social in person, My family we are not close at all. none of us are. I could really care less if we invited my family ( Im sure my Fh & family feels otherwise) Im just naturally distant. i want quiet at home and he wants a production with his family and friends lol

his sister is my bridesmaid. my sister is taking the other spot, i have no one i hang out with ever... hope that makes you feel better

when i say i have no friends, i really mean i have no friends. my fh is my friend, my only friend. my best friend. i dont feel like im missing out on anything. its just who i am in the past my friends really weren't my friends in the end. I dont have time for temporary people

compromise.... have a private wedding and huge reception.. vice versa... or elope privately and then have a wedding for his family so they dont feel left out.. i hear of that alot.

If you want your family to be there, then I'd see it as a two way street. Both of you should be able to invite your families. But if you don't feel comfortable having your family there due to lack of keeping in touch, I do think it's important to let him have his on his wedding day if he desires it. It's his family. I would tell him how you feel, and see what he says. Let him know your concerns and just remember that you get to invite WHOEVER you want! If you're worried about feeling lonely or abandoned while he visits with his friends/family, maybe ask him to stay by your side (which he should anyway) throughout the wedding day so that you feel more included and are able to just enjoy being with him. Best of luck, I hope this helps!

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I totally agree with you Maggie! I have actually stopped planning anything while we go through counseling because it's not about the wedding, it's about your marriage afterwards.

So because you're estranged from your family and you don't have friends, you don't want him to have his friends and family at the wedding? I get the whole feeling lonely part but that just seems selfish to tell him that he can't have people there. Like another poster said, his family is now your family. And it's not like you have to have people separated at the ceremony (like brides side sit on the left and groom's side sit on the right) They're all there for the 2 of you. If you want a small wedding, that's one thing but I think it's messed up that you want him to be alone on your wedding day just because you feel that way