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Beginner April 2023

Maid of honor

Stephanie, on August 31, 2021 at 3:36 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

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Hello!

I know it might be alittle early to choose bridal party already, but I am not sure if I should put both my sisters as maid of honor. At first I was going to choose both so they may split costs and duties for anything they may plan. One I am closer too and she asks about the wedding and what we have decided on so far and seems interested but the other one I am not too close with and she hasnt asked one thing or seems interested at all and I had heard from a family memebrr that she had said she hopes she is not picked to be in the bridal party at all. Now I dont know if I should ask her still so she is not left out or should ask her tojust be a bridesmaid and do a speech so she is still a part but doesnt have to worry about other responsibilities. I just dont want to pick her as well and she just says yes but doesnt really want anything to do with it.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on September 1, 2021 at 3:50 PM

Master October 2020
Yasmine · on August 31, 2021 at 3:45 PM
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Ask her what she wants and tell her to be honest. She doesn't have to be in your bridal party just because she is your sister, if she would rather be a guest then let her be a guest. But you won't now unless you talk to her directly!
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Devoted May 2022
Allison · on August 31, 2021 at 3:49 PM
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I'm having both of my sisters as my matrons of honor! They're coming up with the speech together, but only one of them will deliver the speech because the other doesn't like public speaking. I'm close to both of my sisters though! I would just go with your gut.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on August 31, 2021 at 4:40 PM
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Yeah, you are thinking about this about a year too early, but I agree that you should just ask her. And since it seems like you are expecting your wedding party to pay for/provide/do a lot, you should also lay out all of your expectations clearly when you ask. It's only fair that people know what they are signing up for when they answer.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on August 31, 2021 at 4:40 PM
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It's OK to have two maids of honour for sure. I'm not sure you should use second hand information about her enthusiasm for this to make your decision. It might be best to have a conversation with her about what she wants.
Re: your note about paying for things, the only thing the wedding party needs to buy is their dress or outfit for the wedding. Everything else is extra and shouldn't be expected or required.
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Dedicated September 2022
Ingrid · on August 31, 2021 at 8:57 PM
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Never too early!! I had 2 years and knew who I would ask. I have 12 girls and asked them so they would mark the date for taking off work, making sure other events are scheduled etc....
As for the Maid of Honor I have two! I have my sister who is my Maid of Honor and my best friend who is my Matron of Honor. I love being able to talk to both and get different ideas. My sister has never been in a wedding so she is not familiar with a lot of the planning ideas. She is single and has more time to look stuff up and is very organized. My matron of honor has been through the wedding planning so she knows a lot of stuff to include, not include, and help with my sister in organizing stuff with the bridal party.
I'm all about the more the merrier
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on August 31, 2021 at 9:34 PM
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It's really a good idea to sit until about 9 months before the wedding to ask the wedding party members. Unfortunately many people have indeed had problems when they've asked too early.
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Devoted August 2022
Bride2Be · on September 1, 2021 at 12:11 PM
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I would have an honest conversation with her because the last thing you want is someone in your bridal party who doesn’t want to be there. I would bring it up to her without doing a bridal box or any special type of present so she doesn’t feel obligated. Just ask her if she would want to and if not let her know that’s ok too. Just be very kind about it and don’t pressure her. If she doesn’t want to, I would make your other sister MOH and if she does want to then just make her a bridesmaid so she’s not stuck with duties she probably doesn’t want. it doesn’t sound like she will be hurt if you don’t make her a co-moh.
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Beginner April 2023
Stephanie · on September 1, 2021 at 3:50 PM
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Thank you guys! I will talk to her and see how she feels.
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