Maid of Honor outfit drama. help

What about a jumpsuit?
I think I'd just let her wear what she is comfortable in. The in laws may not like it and she's such a good friend for offering to do the dress but I don't think I'd want her to feel uncomfortable

Why do your in laws get a say on what your MOH wears? That seems ridiculous to me.

I don’t think it’s your in laws decision on what anyone else wears. I would feel uncomfortable asking someone to wear something other than what they are comfortable with.

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Because they are chipping in for wedding rehearsal. My parents said that they should get some kind of say if they chip in even $1. Seems odd to me.

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Right? A jumpsuit is brilliant!

Where would I find one?

Also my groom has voiced concerns over this whole thing as well, but I don't know if it is pressure from his parents.

1- your friend is a gem
2- your in laws have no business or say in what she wears

That being said, I like the suggestion of a jumpsuit as a happy medium. Maybe a wide legged jumpsuit that can sort of pass as a dres? That's IF she is into the idea. I still think if you two want her to wear a suit, then she wears a suit.

View Quoted Comment A say in the rehearsal, sure. But I've never heard of anyone except the bride and her bridal party getting a say in bridal party attire.

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Okay, so my gut feeling that is was weird was correct. Thanks for confirming.

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Thanks Tracie! I agree she is seriously the best ever. I could not live without her!

I had told the in laws that she was wearing a suit and that I didn't care. Then they went through my fiance. When I told him that i still didn't have an issue, they went to my mother and made an appointment with her to voice concerns.

Why does wearing a dress or a suit matter this much?! I freaking hate drama and that its bubbled up to this point.

I agree with others that your in laws, not even your parents, have a say in what your bridal party wears maybe unless they are paying for it maybe. She can wear a pant suit if they want. I would not even discuss this any further with anyone. You can try a jump suit but she should feel comfortable if she is paying for it. Rehearsal dinner has nothing to do with what your bridal party wears and they, in my opinion, have no say in the rest of your wedding. They have all the say in the dinner.

Wow, you have an AMAZING friend!! That was incredibly gracious of her. Personally, I would let her wear the pantsuit she feels comfortable in. I don’t see how what your MOH wears in any way affects your in laws. And to be honest, it’s pretty inconsiderate of them to try to dictate what someone else wears. Why should she have to forfeit her comfort for someone else’s? She should feel comfortable and accepted just the way she is. If someone else has a problem with it, it’s THEIR problem.

Yeah, they absolutely don't get a say in what the bridal party wears. Please stick to your guns and have your sister wear what she wants. I'm kind of bowled over they think they get to voice "their concerns" over the MOH's attire... sorry you're dealing with that.

Agree with everyone who says the in-laws should have no say in what anyone wears (but themselves) and, really, there's no reason for them to even know this level of detail (I realize the cat it out of the bag).

But mostly, I feel compelled to say, it's 2020, women have been wearing pants for nearly a hundred years! There is nothing wrong with pants; this is a non-issue.

As others have suggested a jumpsuit. Lulus has jumpsuits in their bridal section at reasonable prices. Maybe you and your MOH could find something that y’all both like if a suit would make things uncomfortable.


Your MOH is super awesome for suggesting to wear a dress even if she would be uncomfortable. My biggest suggest is finding something that you both love and don’t worry about pleasing others.
I wish you the best of luck.

Are your in laws usually like this? Do they try to exert control over you? If so, I would say start setting boundaries now. It's not appropriate they they went through your mother

I think the decision should be based on you and your MOH only. It's your wedding, and if you and your MOH agree on wearing a suit then why not.

View Quoted Comment Yes! I was thinking the same thing!! I think a jumpsuit would be a great compromise. Search in the forums for them - I’ve seen a few discussions on this.

Hi, I'm in a similar situation. MOH is trans male and will therefore wear a suit according to preference. My family is extremely traditional but I don't care, it's happening and they're going to get used to it. Stick to your gut and defend the wishes of your friends.

View Quoted Comment This is not about clothes. This level of drama and persistence indicates a deep seated discomfort over your friend being a lesbian. They seem to be making it about what she wears so they can "hide" her amongst the rest of the bridesmaids.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I don't know your FILs. But I've seen this kind of behavior before and it only gets worse. It's not for them to say what your bridal party wears. Your attendants should be making that decision with you and nobody else.
Don't worry, they'll get over it.