Maid of Honor Gift to Bride?

I think with the Bridal shower & bachelorette expenses are your gift to her. I wouldn’t expect my MOH to give me a separate gift if she was spending that much. I honestly don’t expect anything now but she’s my sister & I know she’s already been buy me stuff like cake knife & flute set & other stuff she won’t tell me. But I don’t want to put extra strain on anyone one of my guest about gifts.

I would get her a gift. I had a scenario where I was a MOH and went to Asia for wedding. I prob spent around 3k on the wedding but I still gave her 100. I actually threw her bridal shower too, so I didn't get her a bridal shower gift.

I think it’s interesting how some people seem a little offended that she’d be keeping a running tab considering the only thing “mandatory” was the dress. I mean. Not really. Can you imagine being the MOH and sitting out the bachelorette party or dress fitting or shower? Sure, no ones holding a gun to your head making you go, but skipping it is a surefire way to cause tension and disappointment. Anyone who thinks it’s crazy that people in their bridal party aren’t spending money with absolute abandon and glee is either rich or lacks self awareness. People will spend the money because they love you but don’t be shocked that it’s something on their minds.

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My MOH isn't coming to my shower or dress fitting. My mom went with me to purchase the dress and one of my bridesmaids offered to go with me when I picked it up.

There is no way any tension or disappointment. She lives far away - it would be two days off for her and either a really long drive or a plane ticket to come to a shower. That is ridiculous, why would I expect that? I picked my MOH because she is my best friend and I can't imagine getting married without her at my side - not because of her ability to go to frivolous parties. There hasn't been a lot of talk of a bachelorette party yet, and honestly, if it turns out I don't have a formal one because we are all teachers and there isn't the opportunity to get away from school in March, then I won't have one. It's not a big deal - I can do drunken awesomeness with my friends whenever I want.

And I paid for cross country plane tickets when my friend got married twice and if I were to tab it up probably spent a good chunk of money, but I certainly didn't look at it like OP did by keeping a tab and using it as an excuse to not want to get my friend a gift. Everytime I got to fly out to Cali it was a chance to see my best friend, to me that's worth every penny. And yes I still gave a generous gift at her wedding because, again, my best friend and I wanted to spoil her on her day.

I wish I would have read this thread before buying a gift for the bride whose wedding I was just MOH in........

I didn't buy a gift for the wedding I was in. I threw her a very nice shower/bachelorette of which I was the only person paying for (only other bridesmaid was out of state and unable to attend) and then I crocheted her an afghan. Yes the yarn was a little pricey but not that much with discounts. I think a nice heartfelt card or framed photo is more than plenty! Also....everyone keeps tabs....it's called a BUDGET.

I think it makes sense to factor in gas, considering you live a distance a way. If you were 15 minutes down the road, then counting gas would be silly. But that makes sense for your situation. It's also not weird to keep tabs on what you spend. Its a financial obligation. It makes sense.

That is a LOT of money to spend being MOH. If your bride is a true friend, I don't think she'd expect a gift from you. However, I would give her a nice card or something. I'd love that as a bride

I didn't think my girls spent that much. But one does live 6 hours away, so I'm sure she factors in gas! You have to to even see if you can make the event.

I also totally understand none of it being optional. You have to be the for your best friend, ya know? You try everything. You make it happen because you love them.

I am a bride and I can tell you now I'm not expecting anything from either my maid nor my matron of honor. They may get me a gift, but I'm just happy that they will both be there with me.

I'm not expecting a gift from my any of my bridesmaids. They are already doing so much by just being in my wedding and standing next to me on my big day. Plus like you they have already incurred so many expenses! Just them saying yes to being in my bridal party is a good enough gift for me!

I definitely do not expect gifts from my bridal party and I am paying for everything but the dress. All the time they put in is more than enough!