Maid of Honor DRAMA

Side note: I'd rather bump her to bridesmaid so I won't be disappointed or hurt when she can't help out. But making that switch is also heart-breaking for me to do.

Approach her as tho you're doing her a favor: "I know you'll be so busy planning your own wedding. I don't want you to be stressed out trying to also fulfill all the requirements as my MOH. Would you rather be a BM or a maybe just a guest?"

Hmmm this is a big decision on your part but i will say maybe you should talk to her first and ask her if she thinks that she will still be able to make it to your event being that her wedding is 2 weeks before and if so does she think she can still fulfill being your MOH because us brides already know how it much planning and stress, frusturation comes along & you just wanted to check in with her. Sorry i might not be much help hope things work out

Thanks, Nancy T! The thought of asking her to do that makes me want to cry! I know my sister would help me with anything and everything, but having my sister do all the work and letting my BFF take all the credit isn't fair either ... I just have to muster up the strength to do it!

I agree with Nancy, if you bring it to her attention that way, its kind of putting the ball in her court and letting her decide what she feels comfortable with. I would imagine that being excited about getting engaged, your wedding may have been in the back of her mind.

I do understand your concern, I don't think it would be very easy for her to be there, especially as a MOH, when her own wedding is just before yours. But, just try to talk with her and let her know your concerns.

Is your sister closer (distance-wise) than your current MOH? If you're looking for someone to help you out with wedding stuff, your sister is probably the logical choice. And I agree, you can't have your sister do everything and not give her credit. I used my sisters as MOH's and it worked great. Good luck!

Inlovewidkee: That was the first thing I did after I told her I was excited she set a date, but soon realized she was talking about March 31, 2012... She says shes a great multitasker and can handle it, but obviously neither of us have planned a wedding before... I truly believe she is in way over her head thinking she can pull it off.

Is your sister married? If not have a Maid and Matron of honor and if your friend decides down the road she can't do it - no harm done - no one lost their title.

I would also ask her to be a bridesmaid instead. Although I had this situation soon after my engagement and my MOH didnt take kindly to the approach. I simply asked her did she feel everything was too much of a burden, do to all the stuff she was going through. She was hurt so she didnt speak to me for three months. I thought it was strange because I didnt say I didnt want her to be MOH. But she just blew up and quit. I understand though she was going through a lot and I sort of thought she was heading towards divorce. Sadly I was right and after she realized I was trying to make the best decision for both of us. She came around.

I think that it's rude to imply that someone should step down. If she wants to step down, she will. Technically, all the MOH has to do is show up appropriately dressed. Someone doesn't have to be the MOH to help with the wedding. If someone wants to help, they'll do it regardless of their title. If it's that important to you, why not have two maids of honor?

It will be a problem because her money will be going on her wedding things instead of her MOH dress. just prepare for her to say she wont be able to be in your wedding nor be able to make it.

Was she going to be able to make it to all your functions before she got engaged living that far away? Where you going to ask her to step down if she couldn't make them before she got engaged? Or are you just miffed that she is getting married before you (understandably)?

I would give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she can handle everything. She doesn't need to be at your beck and call to be your MOH. All that is really required of her is to show up the day of your wedding. Just remember the reason why you were so quick to ask her to be your MOH in the first place!