Maid of honor drama

What are they planning that is costing so much? The shower? The bachelorette party?

I would text since you know they will read it. Just say there are a few things you need to discuss regarding the finances.....and that "budget" is the key word. Lol

Talk to her in person or text. I had my girls pick their own dresses with the color I gave them. I also let them pick pretty much everything else out themselves. I believe this has caused no drama at all.

I know this is frowned upon-But I have paid for some of the Bridal Shower so it cuts down cost on my friend paying-She still doesn't know I contacted the hall and did this.

This post is really confusing...

Yeah, I want to help but am confused about what the issue is. What is costing hundreds of dollars?

I think the bridal shower or bachelorette party is expensive.

I would talk to her too. And make sure that she is thinking about everyone's budget.

The great thing is that you have two MOH, so if one gets cut then you at least have one left.

I'm so confused

This doesn't make sense. What is costing 100s of dollars? What are they planning, parts of the wedding?

This is your friend. When a friend is upset about something, doesn't that warrant at least a phone call or a visit instead of a text?

Money is a touchy subject. She may be embarrassed or feel guilty if she can't afford whatever the other bridesmaids have planned. Reach out to her as a friend instead of as a bride and see how she is doing.

First, you can decline any parties. Second, just tell your BMs to pick a dress of their own choosing.

I don't understand your post. Hopefully, everything sorts itself out.

I mean, you picked her as your MOH for a reason. She's probably your best friend or sister, right? You should be able to talk to her. Have a heart to heart and friendly conversation. Maybe she simply doesn't realize the budget issue and how it may be impacting the other bridesmaids.

Communication my friend. That's key.

I had a similar situation where I was worried what was planned was to expensive from little rumours I'd heard, so I got my fiance to talk to the MOH (they're friends too) as that was less likely to be drama filled being a step removed so maybe that's an idea?

I'm very confused. What is the issue with the MOH? Is it the cost of everything the one bridesmaid is planning? I'm very lost.

So, to parse this story: your bridal party is upset because one of your MOHs is planning expensive events, expecting their contribution, but not being sensitive to their budgets? And, you're having trouble reaching out to her in advance of going dress shopping with the whole group tomorrow?

I think it's ok to text the MOH to say you want to check in. It may be that there is more than one side to the story. It also may be that "cheap" means something different to you / your MOH / your other bridesmaids.

Whatever you do, I'd be kind in the conversation. She probably isn't aware that this is so tough for the others and is doing this because she thinks you will enjoy it. You can say, "Thank you for being so thoughtful and wanting to do x, y, and z... I think that sounds amazing but I honestly would prefer something a little more low key so everyone can enjoy without worrying about their budgets. Maybe you and I can do x, y, or z just the two of us another time to celebrate?"

OP, you haven't explained the story well. Is you BM that spent hundreds expecting the others to pay her back or is she taking on the costs herself?

What does this mean?: "So I told both of them to keep in mind the themes of my wedding, one of them being stay cheap!"

Why do they need to know your theme? The way you phrased this makes it sound like you're planning on them helping with your wedding or you're expecting them to do stuff/spend money on you/your wedding. Please clarify, because your friends/bridesmaids have nothing to do with your "theme" or keeping in mind that your wedding should be cheap. You should keep in mind their budget and what they can each afford when discussing bridesmaids dresses, but that's it.

How are they spending hundreds of dollars when you haven't even picked out dresses yet? The only cost they have as bridesmaids are the bridesmaid dresses which you should have spoken to each girl individually and asked their budget then look for dresses at the lowest budget.

We are so confused! Please come back and update!