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Just Said Yes April 2018

Maid of Honor being distance and avoiding anything wedding related

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Mikaela, on October 1, 2017 at 12:24 AM

I asked my best friend of 7 years to be my MOH while on a trip I took her on for her bday. I refrained from talking about the wedding as much as I could and only mentioned it when we were having tasty meals. I really wish I could afford to have a few places in KC cater because it was so yummy and she agreed I thought we had a great time. Since then she has complained to a mutual friend saying that my wedding is ALL I talked about.

Since we got back she's been distant and blew me off when I went wedding dress shopping after she said she'd be there. She even put the date in calendar, but the day of I asked her if she was still coming she said she already had plans. I get the plans can change but she could have told me. I'm really easy going and approachable. During the initial conversation I told her if she didn't want to be MOH or a bridesmaid I would completely understand. Along with that she's said she doesn't want to pay for her dress and is busy until the end of Oct. Advice?

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Just Said Yes April 2018
Mikaela · on October 2, 2017 at 10:16 PM
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So I tried to talk to her today... I showed up to her place and when she opened the door I got a surprised glare. I had wine, her favorite chocolates and pictures from our trip in a frame that I had made. She asked me what I was doing there to which I replied" Just want to make your day better since you have seemed off after the trip." She said now isn't a good time, I'm busy and it is rude of you to just show up. I apologized and she went back inside and shut the door. So I left the gifts on her door step for her. I don't know if I should try again or just take that as "bye Felicia"
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Devoted January 2019
Rosered · on October 2, 2017 at 10:29 PM
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Showing up unannounced is not great but her response seems to confirm that she is dodging you. I think you should wait a week and see if she reaches out at all. If she doesn't, then you should probably let her know you are assuming she no longer wants to be in the wedding.
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Just Said Yes April 2018
Mikaela · on October 2, 2017 at 10:31 PM
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We've done that to each other in the past and its always gone over well. She's never ignored me this long and there's tension. So I'm going to leave her alone and if by January she still hasn't said anything I'll have someone stand in her place. I don't want to replace her but I feel like she's done being friends. I hope that's not the case.
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Devoted June 2018
LyraGardenia · on October 2, 2017 at 10:32 PM
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It was worth a try, OP, since she was blowing off your messages, but it sounds like now genuinely isn't a good time for her for whatever reason. Maybe give her a few days or weeks to calm down and then try calling or texting? If she still won't open up to you over the next few weeks I would be questioning how close of a friend she still is. Even if she really is jealous over the wedding, she should feel able to speak up about it to you if you're really best friends.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on October 2, 2017 at 10:33 PM
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I agree with PPs. I would reach out and apologize for showing up unannounced. If she has something going on in her life that she is trying to hide or is anxious about, showing up probably didn't help. I'd try to schedule some time to actually see her.
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VIP August 2017
JDSquared · on October 2, 2017 at 11:04 PM
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Wow. I'm sorry that things went down the way they did. You weren't rude for showing up. I'd leave it be for now and just see how it plays out. If she doesn't have the proper dress, she can come as a guest. I wouldn't replace her just yet though, you never know how things pan out.
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