Maid of Honor being distance and avoiding anything wedding related

I would say try and talk to her about how she's feeling, nothing regarding the wedding. She may be dealing with things in her life that are making her behave this way.

So long as the dress is reasonably priced and you discussed a price point with her, if she's now saying she won't pay for it and doesn't show up in the dress, then she can attend as a guest.

I have almost the exact same situation going on, and we don't have any advice while I'm in the middle of it, but I totally empathize. Hope things work out for you and your friend.

Did you check her budget for her dress before selecting one? Or does she not want to buy a dress at all? If not, then she can attend as a guest.

Approach this as a friend problem, not a wedding problem. What do you usually do when things with a friend are strained? Maybe ask if she wants to go see a movie, have a drink or have coffee sometime? Find out if she's under stress in her world and avoid all wedding talk.

I'm sorry this is happening, I'm sure it's hurtful.

@jdsquared I've tried making plans for dinner or coffee with her to talk to her, but she keeps telling me she's busy. The mutual friend thinks she's jealous the way she describes stuff to him. She's happier when she talks about other friends and things she got going on. She's got a great bf and things have been going well with them, she just got a promotion a week after we got back (mutual friend told me) she has yet to mention it to me and we tell each other everything normally. I told her I was looking for low priced dresses as I bought 2 for $99 a piece during a sale.

She was in a wedding last year and the bride was very demanding and required them to purchase rather ugly dresses for almost $200 and then custom converse shoes, plus pay for hair and make up! I'm not rich nor are my friends so I'm not demanding anything. Like do your own make up and hair. You know how you like to look and feel. I only wanted a say in dresses which I capped off at no more that $100 since that is what I paid for my 2 dresses for the day. I think she just doesn't want to spend any money even though she has that kind of money. I was conscious of choosing colors everyone would look good in a style that could be worn again for something else.

I just don't know how to talk to her without doing it in person. She takes messages the wrong way and can be kind of a drama queen if she feels offended. I dont want to loose her as a friend but I feel like if I bring this up that is where it will end. She can be quick to jump the gun sometimes.

Did you ask them what they were comfortable paying or did you just arbitrarily choose $100 without any input from them?

I asked them all individually what a top price pint was so that way no one would feel obligated to have to spend more than they could afford. 2 of the girls said $200, one said $175 and one said $150. I personally don't like spending a lot for a dress you plan on wearing once. My MOH wanted a dark burgundy/wine color but I'm having a spring theme so I suggested a more seasonal medium dark purple because I feel burgundy is too dark for spring.

Hmmm... I thought maybe she was getting weird about the dress because of the cost, but if she was on board beforehand with the price, then idk. The color isn't really her call, since that depends on the color scheme for the wedding.

I would keep trying to get in touch with her about things that are not wedding related. Maybe just show up at her house with a bottle of wine and find out what's going on with her.

I might have to. My FH thinks the friendship is fizzling out and it's a jealousy thing. He said his sister's bff broke off the friendship when she got married.

If it's a jealousy thing, you still need to handle it. Like Joanna said, show up at her house with wine, or send her a thoughtful note pointing out that you miss her and feel things are a little off and that you just want to be in the place with her that you were before you got engaged.

These things are difficult and people have a hard time admitting any kind of bad feelings or jealousy in general. Maybe she's a non confrontational type. You have to initiate to your fullest capabilities and if she stillnsibt responding, then you explain that if she'd feel better attending as a guest that you completely understand and that having her there on your special day is more important than fracturing your relationship over her being in the wedding party. I'm sorry you're going through this hun.

A side note, how much money she has and whether or not she can afford it is irrelevant and usually a sore subject on WW as no one has control over how someone else spends their money. Not being rude by any means but just giving you a heads up because I've seen ops torn a new one over the subject lol.

Did she ever actually at any point agree to the $100 or did she say she didn't want to pay for it from the very beginning? It definitely sounds like there is more going on but then again she really could just be that busy. Reach out to her tell her you would love a chance to get together catch up and see how she's doing when she has some free time.

Also just because someone has the money doesn't necessarily mean that they can afford it, if that makes any sense.

She is one of the girls who said $200 but it's like now that she disagrees with the color she doesn't want to buy it.

It's very rarely the case that the person is actually jealous. I don't know why that seems to be the default setting so often!

Just let her be for now. Don't discuss the wedding at all with her. Your MOH might be having personal issues and lashing out. Either she'll come around or she'll back out of the wedding

First of all, tell your mutual friend to keep their mouth shut and stop stirring the pot. Telling you she's jealous and complaining and happier discussing other things accomplishes nothing but making you feel bad, and things are rarely ever that cut and dried. In fact the whole "happier talking about anything but your wedding" is such a weird, pointed comment that I wonder how much of the drama isn't coming from this third person. Remember, anyone who tells tales to you will do it elsewhere too.

Second, call your MOH. Just say to her, "Hey, I'm a bit worried about the dress situation. We agreed on a price point, but you've said some things that make me think there might be some difficulties. Can we talk it over so I have a clear picture of the current situation?" And do that every time you have an issue.

Stop talking to other people about her, Talk to HER.

At my bachelorette we literally talked about my friends' kids the.entire.time. I was dying. But my dear friends had very little awareness that we were talking about kids and babies so frequently. I just sucked it up because these are people I love (and love their kids too) but I have definitely had to take a break from them and their baby talk. (Note: please no one freak out, I'm not saying people should not talk about kids and all things related whenever they want. I'm just saying it got to be too much for me on this trip). Sometimes we don't realize how much we are taking about things we are excited about or concerned about.

Maybe you didn't realize how often you were talking about it relative to other things. If you talked about the wedding at every meal I can understand why that would be annoying. Given all that, it still may have nothing to do with the wedding. Give it some time and talk about non-wedding stuff. Like absolutely no wedding stuff for awhile and see if that helps. I would ask her how she is and what she has going on to understand if she has other concerns bothering her.

@jacks and @del, as always, are on point!

Oh god. The evergreen jealousy argument. No one cares about your wedding as much as you. And it sounds like you might have asked her a bit early. You're still 6 months out. They don't need to be all in right now. Be a friend first, bride second.

@Del & @Jacks are spot on.

It's hard for others to be as excited about your wedding. I am going through the same thing with some people in my life. I decided to let time go past and do what I needed to do on my own and as the time gets near if they are still distant they can allows RSVP Declined. I am cool with that too, because I truly only want those who are happy for me to come to our wedding.