Maid of Honor Backed Out 9 days before my wedding

Your future husband needs to step in.

Is she an adult? If she’s an adult, there’s really nothing you can do. You can ask for the money that you lost, but I wouldn’t expect her to repay you. If she’s a child and lives with you, her father should be talking to her.

I agree with PP. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do.

Unfortunately her mother has custody of her because when my Fiancé and his ex got divorced it was extremely messy and he did not have enough money for a lawyer so she got the kids. My future stepdaughter is 18 she’ll be 19 in November but there is no way that her or her mother will give the money that was spent back because that’s just how both of them are. I feel like a bad person because I’m not as upset as my fiancé is but the reason I’m not as upset is because I knew this was gonna happen based on the way things of been the past two months with her coming and visiting every other weekend.

View Quoted Comment If she’s 18, her mother doesn’t have custody. She’s an adult. She may live with her mother and she may have had custody prior to her turning 18, but custody doesn’t apply once a child is legally an adult. Unfortunately all your FH can do is express to his daughter that he would love it if she could be there.

View Quoted Comment We did but she blew it off.. FH is really upset and didn’t even want to go to work today because of this

I know this is going against everything I've seen posted on here, but you mentioned being alone on your side on your wedding day. Is there anyone who could stand up there with you in her place? I know everyone sees that as a major no-no but is that an option?

View Quoted Comment My sister doesn’t want to be in the wedding. I don’t have any friends because I moved over 700 miles away from all family & friends. None of my friends are coming to the wedding; they all declined my invitation.

I'm sorry you're going through this!! This is not the kind of stress you need to be dealing with this close to the day.

Well, I'm always looking for the silver lining, and trying to see the positive in every situation. So, I know you're not going to let anything stop you from marrying the man you love!! So, stand up there proud, all on your own!! You don't need attendants to have a great day, and a beautiful wedding! You got this.

I'm sure your FH must be heartbroken about the way his daughter is acting. Reassure him that you guys are still going to have an awesome day!!

Try sitting down with her and talking to her one on one. Ask her if shes having mixed feelings about her family getting bigger or if she feels like she doesn’t belong or what. If she still doesn’t want to, then own it! Perfect your model strut, fluff up your dress, and go for it! You’re marrying your guy and that’s all that matters!

I'm sorry you're going through this. Does your FH have one person (best man or groomsman) standing with him? You could have that person still walk down the aisle and maybe even usher a parent/grandparent down then just sit for the ceremony. We aren't having a bridal party, so no one will be standing with us. We are incorporating our brothers somehow into the ceremony, but I haven't figured that out yet. I hope everything works out for you!

Her father needs to say something to her because that's just not right at all

I went to a wedding without a bridal party a few months ago. Everything went well and it was just the couple standing together at the alter. No rules say that you have to have someone up there with you. If he already has groomsmen, you can re-purpose them as ushers or have them do readings or a prayer instead.

It stinks that you have to go through this so close to your wedding day but it's out of your control. If she's a rebellious teen there isn't anything you can do or say to make her change her mind. She'll probably feel worse if you guys just go ahead and have an amazing day without her.

View Quoted Comment I'm so sorry

Reading everyone’s comments have really made me feel less alone in this. I truly appreciate the time yall have taken to comment and give me advice. I think that I’ll just go ahead and own it. After all, I’d rather be by myself than have someone up there that doesn’t really want to be there. His son is his best man (only groomsman.)

There really isn't anything you can do. A lot of people now days choose not to have bridal parties, myself included. The day is about you and your FH, not about who is standing with you. She can be a guest but if she is an adult, I would request that she pay back the money you have spent on her.