Low budget wedding

Thanks @holly!! Thats really helpful advice!

So you're looking for a place that can hold up to 170, yet your guest list is 200? Why?

Just cut your guest list. Yes, this CAN be done. You just have to WANT to do it.

Courtney? You're unicorn hunting, seriously. Cut the guest list first. Because in this area, a venue big enough for that amount of guests, without one carrot stick, is going to be 4000.00 at least. And they are few and far between. (Ridgewood Women's Club and the Glen Ridge Women's club are two of them that come to mind). Unless you want a community center or a firehouse, which is just fine, but you need catering. Then your alcohol.

Bingo. You're out of budget.

So let's say you go to an all inclusive. You're looking, at the minimum, of 80.00 plus tax and service, and you're a year and a half out, so that might even go up.

Bingo you're out of budget.

Everyone can cut the guest list when they realize what they're trying to do is not possible on the budget they have in mind. You can stamp your feet all you want and ask for no negative comments, but what you want doesn't exist. Trust me on this one. I've been in every banquet hall in NJ and unless you move to a Thursday or March, you won't find a cheaper all inclusive price, and piecing it all together rarely comes out cheaper when you add everything up.

There is no venue in this area that is going to feed 200 people, with tax and service and a ceremony space for 45.00 PP. (Those venues don't allow you to bring your own liquor in anyway).

Low budget wedding of 20k...I wish I had this problem.

Cut your gust list. We we went from 277 Down to 134. It's possible to cut.

You need to look an non wedding venues. 20k is a huge budget, you just need to try harder. Our max budget is 5k and I found a venue for only $350. It's a gorgeous wood lodge in a state park, it's not a "wedding" venue for its dramatically cheaper.

Who is paying?

Is your family paying and that's why they think they need to have a family reunion and invite all the extended family? If that is the case, it does get a bit tricky. Maybe you and your partner will have to contribute to the overall budget so you can invite your friends.

If you are paying and you don't want to invite all the extended family, you don't have to.

We had a similar situation. Yes we love (most) of our extended family, but it just was not financially possible to invite a large 100 family. We cut extended family across the board to treat everyone equally. Were some of them disappointed, yes, but our financial security is more important. We're not starting out our marriage going into debt. We had just our immediate family and close friends and it was perfect for us.

Other options for reducing budget:

-a bland community hall with dingy folding chairs you will not be upgrading

-bbq or italian food catering, lunch not dinner

-avoid the weekend if you can, or at least not saturday.

-beer & wine only

-cheap 1-tier cutting cake for you and sheet cake in the back for everyone else

-budget attire (like $500 all in for veil, shoes, dress, alterations)

-no frills (robes, spa treatments, "wedding" napkins, engraved flutes, etc.)

-no transportation

-no hotel (unless you are traveling far from your home for the wedding)

-no florals (maybe a cheap bouquet for you)

-no favors

-no stds, programs, any unneccessary paper goods or signage

-no wedding party

-no rehearsal dinner

-no bachelor/bachelorette parties

-no honeymoon (save up for an anniversary trip in a year if you can)

I know it sounds harsh. It is. But you need to be very strict and on top of your budget or you will find out just how easy it is to suddenly by over by thousands.

Now is it still worth inviting 200 people you don't want to invite but feel obligated to because faaaamily? Is it worth $20,000 to invite that estranged uncle and his 7 children you haven't seen in 12 years but just haaaddd to invite but you will probably not even see on your actual wedding day except to talk to for 2 minutes while going around to each table and spending barely a few minutes with each guest?

@uncommon I know 20K sounds huge, but in the NYC metro area, it's really not. Especially for the number of people she is looking for. Prices for a decent place in this area start at around $125/pp.

I would have been sympathetic until I read BYO alcohol!

Postpone your weddig until you can afford to treat your guests as such! I am from NY so I get what the venues are asking for!

There is a place in nj in old bridge called Buttonwood manor. They gave me the price of $89 for their top package including ceremony and open bar for a Saturday night in July.

@GeeQT.. BYO means that the bride and groom supply the alcohol. Not the guests.

BYO means bring your own

Goodness @Gee do you ever read the comments before posting?

Sweet baby Jesus.

She clarified on the first page that she wants to bring her own alcohol in. To supply alcohol for the bar vs the venue supplying it. Reading comprehension goes a long way.

Even if your mom and dad each had 5 siblings and his mom and dad had 5 siblings and they each had 5 children, that would still be 100 people. I think you can cut people to at least get it to 100.

The BYO alcohol venues were not cheaper in my experience. The ones that let you bring in your own alcohol and caterer charged a much higher rental fee because that's the main way they make their money. So you just wasted a quarter of your budget to rent and empty space.

Like PP have said, try your hardest to cut your guest list. I'm in the Arkansas/Southern MO, and it's hard enough getting 150 people for 25K, and my area is MUCH cheaper.

Other things:

-Cut videographer and get the lowest photography package

-Cut all paper products except invitations, and wait for a big Vistaprint sale to buy those.

-If you have to have flowers, buy a few in-season flowers from Sam's and DIY your bouquet.

-No bridal party

-Minimal decor

-Find a venue that fits your ENTIRE guest list but that maybe isn't a "wedding" venue

-Put your wedding at a non-meal time so you only have to provide apps and hors d'oeuvres

-Serve beer and wine only, or appropriate alcohol for the time of day (brunch wedding: mimosas and bloody marys)

-One tier cake for cutting then sheet cakes from a grocery store

-Buy a dress during the DB $99 sale or off the rack, maybe preownedweddingdresses.com

Also, please don't tell people how to post. It made me want to be snarky.

Uncommon, in NJ/NY, 20,000 is a modest budget. It that is the total, all in number, it probably won't even cover 100, no matter how much else you cut. We don't have 300.00 venues and no amount of DIY'ing is going to double the food//drinks budget.

I second everything that A Bride said but the facts are that for most people planning a wedding, one half of the budget goes to the reception food and drink. That leaves you 10,000 for 200 guests. With tax and service, that means you need to find a place that will cater your wedding for 40 bucks-ish, and that doesn't exist.

So you can kill yourself and be stressed out from now until the day you get married, or you can cut giant groups out; all the cousins, all the work people, parents' friends you don't know.....

As someone said, it's NOT a family reunion. It's your wedding, and the guest list should be curated to people you REALLY , intentionally want there.

It is ABSOLUTELY doable. I'm a jersey girl but chose PA at a Golf Club Venue which was AMAZINGLY priced and would totally fit your budget of 9000 including the ceremony area. Parts of PA are wonderfully inexpensive especially if you go to non-traditional venues. If PA is not an option definitely try a non-traditional menu ie. Brunch or carving stations. It can shave thousands off the cost.

You CAN cut the guest list, you just don't want to.

Yes, it's not going to happen. Yes, you are dreaming. I don't care if it's not what you wanted to hear, it's what's true.

You live in a HCOL area, or are having your wedding in one at the very least. Welcome to reality, where $20k isn't going to stretch as far as it does in LCOL areas. Cut the damn guest list. Absolutely NOBODY has to invite 200 people. You absolutely CAN cut. Most people will understand.

Cut everyone from the list. Add yourself and FH. Add parents. Add siblings and aunts and uncles.

Stop there, or add a SELECT FEW friends. Stop. Guest list is cut and done, period. Problem solved.

It's time to grow up and be an adult, which means realizing that hosting properly means cutting your guest list to something manageable for your budget, not trying to pinch every penny until it poops.