Losing friends through the wedding process

I'm sorry for your situation however if I can be perfectly honest you stated "I feel like I'm really good at losing friends". That seems like a personal problem and maybe you need to do some self reflecting.

Also what are you expecting your MOH to do? It's your wedding not hers. It is not her job to help plan your wedding. No one else will care about it like you do.

Me! Omg! I had a friend (my brothers ex....will never do that again) we actually were friends for years after they broke up. She has been there during good and bad times with my FH and was super excited when we started the planning process. She had just given birth to her baby and was home on maternity leave. She VOLUNTEERED to help me with anything since she was home. She said "that's what bridesmaids do" kinda making herself a bridesmaid. Moving forward....I decided to throw a brunch to officially ask all my bridesmaids to be in the wedding where I gave them all a bottle of wine with personalized labels proposing, lol Of course I included her, she came we all had fun and talked about wedding ideas, etc.

One week later she texts me, that she can't be in the wedding because she wasn't working. At that point the wedding was over a year out. I thought it was weird so I asked her if it was really about the money. And she said no! She said she didn't feel like I've been a good friend to her!!! I couldn't believe it!!! She says I don't call her enough, lol. The conversation started going left because I felt she was being a bit of a baby and I couldn't understand why she came to the brunch, said yes but apparently felt this way. We haven't spoken since

I lost a friend but it wasn't because of the wedding. I chose to distance myself from her, because I was putting all of the work into our friendship and it always felt like I had to force her to care or want to be involved in my life. We had started drifting apart way before I got engaged, but I tried to keep us friends and spent to much time wondering why my best friend vanished. It was hard because she was in a different state, but I'd text her and not hear from her for days, or I'd get one word responses. She said it was because she had a baby but she was talking t everyone but me. The final straw for me was when she picked new god parents for her son and baptized him without ever letting us know.

Also your Mohs don't have responsibilities other than to show up in the dress on time. Make sure you are taking to your friends about things other than the wedding because no one will be as interested as you are

I don't understand why you can't be friends with other couples during wedding planning? Why that friendship is ruined. I haven't lost any friends and don't plan on it. The only people in our wedding party are close friends. We still see them all the time and do not talk wedding with them non-stop. Our wedding is not the center of their world.

As an older bride who lost a friendship in my 20s due to pulling out of a wedding, my advice: focus on you and FH without any expectations or help from anyone. It really needs to be a whatever attitude when it comes to your BP. As the ladies have said before, the only obligation is to wear the dress and stand beside you. I took this approach for my wedding and I had zero BP stress. My SIL who happens to be in my BP made things a little difficult, but that was RSVP related. This is the best possible advice I can give to salvage friendships during this time.

Yes

No

"I'm laid back and casual about a lot." You sure? People just took the time out to type thoughtful responses to you, and you came back with a defensive answer. What type of comments were you looking for? If you're having issues in several of your relationships, maybe you should reflect on what your role is in that.

Wait, was this edited to take out any context? Based on the other comments, I'm guessing it was? Anyways, I haven't, but I know those who have. Some were ridiculous - a friend only invited those she had spoken to within the past 3 years and someone who didn't make that list got upset (if you haven't spoken in 3 years, you're not very good friends!). Others were probably justified. Brides should be conscious of the fact that no one else cares about your wedding as much as you do. No one wants to hear about it all the time. When talking to my friends, I don't bring up anything wedding-related unless specifically asked. I had a friend comment to me recently that I don't talk about the wedding a lot. That's because not everyone cares to hear it and I can respect that. If you're losing friends, take a step back and think about what you may have done or said to contribute to that.

MzRosaLu hit the nail on the head.

Wow you went back and deleted all the context because you're not getting the responses you wanted. Sounds like pretty high-maintenance and petty behavior to me. Evaluate the common denominator in all of these rocky relationships.

Also, just pointing out "my MOH, who also happens to be my SIL" (not the exact quote since you deleted everything) - you have it backwards, OKD had it right. "My SIL, who happens to be a MOH." They are friends and family first, before BP members.

ETA: grammar

So you edited / deleted the majority of your posts because people were giving you constructive advice? Hmm...I don't think your friends are the problem.

I agree with Emily. And most of my friends who think they are laid back.....are not.

What happened to the original post?

No. If you're losing friends, you might want to reflect on whether or not they were really your friends.

Where is the original post?

Alexis, she deleted it. She didn't want it to come back and bite her in the ass. If i hadn't been busy getting ready for work, I would have screenshot-ed it all.

Just one friend lost and in hind site it wasn't a big loss.