Longtime friend wants to unfriend us because we are married/getting married

I agree with Wendy. It's a really creepy thing to do and almost sounds like he thought he was entitled to your complete attention. Now his "window of opportunity" is closed so he is no longer interested in faking a friendship.

I also agree with Wendy. I can see this happening between two guy friends or girl friends but never between a guy and a girl. That just seems oddly jealous. Let him go.

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to adult.

Even if Wendy is on the right track (and I have a feeling she is), it's his fault for not being upfront with his feelings, and I have a feeling that since you or your sister never actually got romantically involved with him it's because you never felt that way. He should have either talked to you about it by now, and/or realized that the interest wasn't reciprocated and moved on.

Thanks everyone for the advice! I think the majority of you are right that maybe had a thing for one of us and was waiting around. 13 years is a long time to wait around but oh well he gets to be bitter and lonely while we are happy! Here is a picture of my sister and I right before she got married! I'm just focusing on the positive and letting his drama just roll off my back.edit because it didn't post the picture.

Your "friend" seems immature and jealous, and probably into you and/or your sister. That isn't someone you need complicating your life. That pic is really cute! Glad your sister's wedding went well.

So dumb. I hate people sometimes. It's so weird to go out of his way to tell you that he doesn't want to be friends anymore...what is this, third grade?

Unfortunately, sometimes marriage does break up friendships. I've never had someone come out and say "I can't be your friend because you're married" but noticed when I started to grow up and move forward in my life, some got left behind.

I think Wendy might be sort of right too. I think you will be better off without you, he seems immature if he has to tell you this.

I didn't really have the same thing, but a friend of mine didn't ask me to go along to things too often anymore because 'you are a couple now and less fun'. We still hung out (mostly when I initiated it), but I often felt 'second best', i.e. he would only hang out if other friends didn't have time.

@winterwonderlandbride unfortunately he has a habit of every few years or so starting drama and then not talking to me for a few months. I've decided this is it though. When he sent me a huge goodbye message I didn't respond at all. Pretty sure he just wants a reaction out of me or beg him to be my friend again, but I'm not gonna take the bait. In fact I took him off of all my social media and blocked him because I know he will probably try all this over again. I tried to stay his friend as long as I could but this was my limit, what he was saying really hurt.

Wendy hit it on the head in my book- which just makes me angry angry angry angry.

In which case my opinion is- better off without him b/c he was never a real friend to begin with.

its' different when life paths take you different places- my best friend got married and turned into a baby machine- as I live across the country and I dislike babies tremendously- and work all the time and she is a stay at home mom- we have nothing in common and have understandably drifted apart- that's not remotely close to the same thing though.

I actually lost a few friends when I got married as well. Some were intentional and some were circumstantial. When you go through major life changes, some people cant keep up. Maybe this is a good thing. He sounds like a jerk anyway. I know it is tough but don't let ONE person affect your happiness and wedded bliss!

Sounds like someone may have had a crush and now feels awkward.. I had a friend start acting out when we got engaged. I never noticed the crush until I let go of the friendship. Let him go, if he is a real friend he will realize that this is all stupid and make his way back. If not, you will have one less toxic relationship to deal with.

Well, if that is how he feels about it, at least he did you the favor of being up front.

Nothing worse than someone slowly ghosting and playing games and bullshitting around.

#aintnobodygottimeforthat

I am so sorry OP. Wendy is right. I think you did the right thing with him to. He was probably trying to gain the upper hand again and get both you and your sister to pledge your allegiance to him when he obviously comes after your marriage. There really wouldn't have been much to say to him in response anyway, other than best of luck.

Some of these stories are crazy. I couldn't imagine losing friends in this way. I have some relationships that have changed or ended but, they were much more organic, I don't think it had anything to do with getting married. Sorry so many have to go through this.